Marry me, John @youshouldmarrymejohn - Tumblr Blog

Oh man,

I really hope my babies are fat.

"Do you like my pig?"

I should start ignoring you.

That will make you love me. Isn't that how it works?

My entire dating history is a tragedy.

At the mention of "no strings attached" my vagina turns into a barren wasteland.

Me: I took myself on a movie date.

John: I hope you treated yourself respectfully.

Me: I felt myself up a bit during the previews, but I was a perfect gentleman the rest of the night.

You should really give into my advances, cuz then you can stare at my butt like erreday or whatever.

"When a guy sends you a picture of his penis, send him back a picture of a bigger penis."

-I can't remember who said this, but I think it's really helpful advice.

Is your penis a werewolf?

Just think about how awkward old people's vaginas must be. That should cure it.

Well, ideally I'd fight it, but the force is strong this time around.

I guess I should just use it.

Me: I'm full.

John: Of crazies?

"Hey could you leave your skype on and let me watch you eat?"

Dude you know how awkward this is going to be when we don't get married and I just sometimes glare at you for no reason?

If neither of us is married by thursday, let's get married.

Are you evil?

Do you smell like bleach?

"Hey if you ever need someone to critique your butt for you, don't hesitate to ask/sentpics/buttskype"

Marry me, John