I donât expect men to recognize misogyny off the bat. Most misogyny isnât as obvious as sexual harassment, catcalling, calling women bitches and other assorted horrible terms. So I donât always expect men who say they are feminists to recognize what misogyny in the day to day lives of women actually looks like. They donât walk in our shoes, they canât understand what it is to be demeaned for the way we look, the way we behave, the way we talk, the way we think, or how ambitious we are. They donât experience misogyny in the same way we do, and so I donât expect the allies to always understand. All I ask of them is that they listen. They should listen, they should learn, and then they should go forward with that knowledge.
Itâs what we should all do as allies. I try to do that with racism. Because I have not experienced racism firsthand, Iâm sometimes not aware that what Iâm seeing, hearing, or sometimes even saying can be construed as racism. But when Iâm corrected, when Iâm informed, I try to take my knowledge to heart. We are a society built on certain stereotypes about different races, religions, genders, sexualities, ethnicities, etc. As allies, we should understand that we cannot possibly understand what each different group goes through, but that we should LISTEN to them and try to change the world around us with that knowledge. We adjust our behaviors and our thoughts and our ACTIONS according to the new knowledge we gain.Â
Sam Heughan has proven himself to not be an ally. Because he is a man, I donât expect him to understand misogyny. I donât expect him to look at whatâs happening currently and immediately go, âHoly shit, thatâs misogyny.â But it has been months. Months of his fans telling him they are being bullied by an 85 year old man who is well known as a misogynist and a bully in multiple fandoms. However, instead of listening and learning and trying to adjust his actions, he has continuously stood on the side of a misogynist. He has blamed the victims of bullying. He has attacked women for doing what is normal in fandom and called them delusional. He has consistently and constantly fed into the misogynistic things that are said about women who fan. I donât expect my allies to understand misogyny, but I expect them to stand against it when they see it and when it is brought to their attention.
The Outlander fandom is toxic. Make no mistake. It is full of women who have never been in fandom before and are now trying to reinvent the wheel based on their own ideas of what it should be like. Their ideas are misogynistic and tear apart the very meaning and purpose of fandom. For a show and collection of books that are all about a strong female, the fanbase is surprisingly sexist and apologetic towards all the problematic portions of the story (rape and abuse being the two main examples). I want to make something clear though: shipping is normal in a fandom. Even real person shipping is normal.Â
Iâve been in many fandoms, and I see the stars being shipped together almost always by a small group of people. In some fandoms, itâs even the two male stars. In other fandoms, the stars are married to other people. Regardless, people ship them. And itâs not because of whatâs on screen, itâs because fans see the exact same chemistry that the casting directors saw. And so their minds take that chemistry and run with it.Â
Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny have been shipped together for over twenty years. Stephen Amell and Emily Bett Rickards have been shipped together. Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey have been shipped together. Even the male stars of Supernatural have been shipped together. It happens in almost every fandom. Itâs NORMAL BEHAVIOR.
The stars have two options: they can either play with this idea or they can deny it and then ignore it. What they donât get to do is call their fans crazy. Because, surprise surprise, fans are the reason actors have a job. Fans carry shows. Shows get canceled without viewers or subscribers. So calling the people who control whether or not you get a paycheck crazy is just ridiculous.
William Shatner walked into a toxic fandom, stated misogynistic remarks about the main character, and then waited. And Sam Heughan, instead of standing up for a strong female character, jumped in and practically humped his leg. This gave Shatner an in. And ever since that door opened, this eighty-five year old misogynist has made it his mission, as it has been for many other fandoms, to attack women for their thoughts, feelings, and normal fan behavior. None of this is new for him. This is what he does. Only now heâs doing it with the blessing of the star of the show.
A good feminist ally tells his friends not to be sexist. A good feminist ally sees sexism in action and does something to stop it.
A misogynist watches it, laughs  about it, and blames women. Or gaslights and tells them itâs in their heads, that their thoughts and emotions are meaningless, overblown, and ridiculous.
I donât expect an ally to understand misogyny in action. I donât expect an ally to always know that what is happening is misogynistic. But I do expect an ally to listen and do something about it.
Sam Heughan isnât an ally. Heâs a misogynist. And if thatâs the case, then he should get Bond. Because no other franchise comes close to beating the misogyny of Bond.
Yes, Mr. Shatner, youâre right. Sam Heughan is the perfect James Bond.
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