[girlwhodoeskratom]

ok u caught me i’m stupid

[goldensunset]

i know in my heart of hearts that within the pokémon universe it’s all the really cute popular marketable pokémon that have the most irresponsible trainers. small dog syndrome ramped up to a whole new level. that is not a toy that is a lifelong commitment. ma’am please keep your untrained sylveon in its pokéball inside the store. no that is not a service pokémon it wouldn’t be using moonblast on everything if it was

[goldensunset]

sir! sir!!! your pikachu is decimating the ducklett population at the pond and you aren’t even looking! you are NOT ash ketchum you are NOT gonna catch ‘em all because that involves trade evolutions and you have NO friends!!!

[goldensunset]

ok literally. that palafinstagram mom who posts pictures of her rowlet not understanding it’s displaying distress behaviors making fun of the cool person whose best friend is a solosis or rellor or unown letter f

[warrior-kitty]

if one more middle aged mom tells me that i should’ve kept my raichu a pikachu because ‘she’s much cuter that way’ i’m sending out my full team and throwing hands right there in the starbucks

[rexuality]

i have a story for you, tumblr. last year my coworkers and I were riding in a golf cart at a music festival passing out drinks to people, because the festival had been cancelled that day and everyone was trying to make the best of a bad situation. after some time we spot a guy on the other side of the road dressed as lord farquaad, walking alone. we yell, “LORD FARQUAAD! DO YOU WANT A DRINK??” dude yells an affirmative, walks into the road without looking, gets hit by a fucking car, and goes flying.

I really need you to picture a lord farquaad being dummy yeeted into the air by an incoming vehicle while a golf cart of inebriated, glitter and mud plastered coworkers are full-on horror movie screaming together. before we can even process this, lord farquaad gets up like 🤪 how bout that drink?? completely okay, utterly unphased, red hat and bob wig still locked the fuck in. we check on him several times, all talking over each other, and while he’s calmly and pleasantly assuring us he’s fine, he passes each one of us a tiny jesus figurine. he bestows a “god bless you all” and then resumes his jaunt, drink in hand.

after that we drove in total relieved hysterics, the kinda laughter that only happens when you narrowly avoided catastrophe. and i have NO idea if the driver that hit him even said a word because my entire consciousness in that moment was farquaad, there was only farquaad. I hope that he reads this one day and knows that he is STILL talked about and regarded as some sort of festival cryptid. we are blessed indeed

[rexuality]

I def think everyone should carry a healthy amount of skepticism in an age where virality is often more prioritized than the truth but!! behold, a piece of my workplace’s holiday mailer. my coworker is the designer of this mailer and she included all sorts of references to our experiences in 2025. she was one of my coworkers on the golf cart with me and of course, included an ode to farquaad

sometimes magical and weird things do really happen

[harboretum]

Like clockwork

[harboretum]

For reference

[cat-faces]

[miaabobriha]

The God of fear and hunger acknowledges your suffering.

[wiki-but-made-them-up]

[astercrash]

[mshagavrik]

He doesn't know how to google it…

[leiten7]

Being a fan of a side character in Ace Attorney is such a harrowing experience. You want them to come back in a new case but you already know Capcom took them out back and shot them and the next witness is going to be a drunk cowgirl named Sawda Merder followed by Wendy Oldbag on life support

[strawbebbynya]

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

[whitachi]

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

[shalmonsdraws]

honkin yappin

[hazopal]

🥀“If I manage to get out of here, it’ll be the last time I ever even think of this place.”

[toastbutteregg]

[a-dream-seeking-light]

lauren tsai & friend photo: brian ziff ( @vespertinemusic ) styling: karolyn pho ( @karolynpho on ig )

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You can only drink the drink you get from this wheel for a month!

https://wheelofnames.com/uh3-8jf

how're you feeling?

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Results

Voting ended onApr 9

[letmebegaytodd]

Overheard in the office hallway between two older businessmen:

“Don’t you dare pull my shirt up, I have a meeting.”

[letmebegaytodd]

You know what happy pride to those two guys

[letmebegaytodd]

[lixomania]

[meawsupport]

this is so late renaissance early mannerism. the controversial male nudity? the lighting and value on the figure of emphasis?? him bathed in light and placed ABOVE while the police are clad in dark and BELOW?? Uh HES HITTING THE CONTRAPPOSTO??

[funstyle]

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand