evil seal knocking on your door

Call me kaz or zeal Yuri enthusiast banner made by pikoames!

[z3eal]

J: “You’re so mean” If you guys weren’t fucking stupid, I wouldn’t have to be mean to you. Change starts with you.

[z3eal]

Uzi: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds?

N: My arms are strong, I would catch you and hug you!

[z3eal]

Uzi: “Fatherless behavior” Actually, he was there, and that’s quite literally the problem.

[z3eal]

Tessa: Guys, I just heard a Minecraft cave noise in real life.

Cyn: Change your settings to peaceful it’ll be ok :)

Tessa: K, hold on.

Tessa: Where are my parents?

[z3eal]

Uzi: Fuck me.

Uzi: Oops, I meant “fight me.” Stupid autocorrect.

V: … This is a verbal conversation.

[z3eal]

Uzi, talking about V: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t like her, that’s not true. My partner is a huge bitch, and I love her very much!

[z3eal]

Woah, I haven’t touched this account in AGES. I honestly forgot I even had tumblr.

Anyways, now that I’m here… I guess I could try promoting my most recent eNVy work!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/81842456

I know for a fact a good chunk of my followers like my incorrect quotes with the shipping stuff based on the statistics, so I hope you enjoy what I cooked up!

[z3eal]

Does anyone have a tutorial on how to undeniably look gay?? I chopped my hair into a wolf cut and I STILL somehow look straight. Please. I desperately need to look gay so guys don’t misunderstand my kind intentions, it already happened once and I don’t want it happening again.

(A pixie cut isn’t viable it looks horridly UGLY on me)

[z3eal]

I’ve always wondered how my female classmates sound cute when sneezing meanwhile I sound like a fucking gunshot.

[z3eal]

I forgot I had this in my gallery, it’s way too funny to gatekeep so I’m sharing it with the world.

(No, these are not edited, me and my friend actually did this with our discord alt accs lol)

[z3eal]

HELLO??? WHAT. WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN????? THEY HAVEN’T EVEN KISSED YET..,,?.???😭😭😭

[roadkillcritter]

Writing fanfic is a blessing and a curse

Take that as you will

[z3eal]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY #THEY KNOW???? I’M NOT MAKING THEN MECHANICALLY SCISSOR😭😭😭

[z3eal]

HELLO??? WHAT. WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN????? THEY HAVEN’T EVEN KISSED YET..,,?.???😭😭😭

[z3eal]

J: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-

Uzi: *blushes* What are your thoughts?

J: The fourth sentence–

Uzi: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I–

J: It’s “you’re” not “your”.

[mibb3e]

Love the fact that she’s legally blind

[z3eal]

Uzi: Being gay is a constant battle between “I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds” and “Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists” and I think that's very sexy of us.

V: If the window's open and you time it right, we can do both.

[z3eal]

N: I’m in love with you.

V: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

N: I know. :)

V: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

[z3eal]

J, at V’s funeral: I need a moment with her.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

J, leaning over V′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

V: Yeah, no shit.

[z3eal]

Hey so throwback to that one time I predicted that V isn’t dead and the first person she’s going to interact with after her supposed “death” is J

(a.k.a me predicting oilrose breakup)