What advice would you give to a young person about coming out and the gay community?
I love this question, and I think it's the perfect time to post this.
On coming out I would say come out when you and only you feel comfortable.
I was pressured by a lot of people who I thought had my best interests at heart to come out before I felt comfortable. I was wracked with anguish all the time feeling like I was doing something wrong by holding back to my family, with whom, I wasn’t sure how would take it. I couldn't come to terms with the possibility of them leaving my life for good over it, and I wasn’t confident in myself enough to be independent of them.
Coming out is a very, very personal choice. A sacred choice. As queer people, we know the unique circumstances surrounding the act of coming out, and we know all too well the possible consequences of doing so. Only you will know when is right for you. Guard your path and journey with all your might until you feel the time is right.
On the gay community, I have a lot so hang with me.
Support each other fiercely. Your LGBTQ+ brothers, sister, non-binary others, and every individual in-between needs as much support from you as you do them. We are all facing our own small battles as queer individuals, but those who are fractions of the greater community due to being minorities need your support the most. Guard each other. Protect each other. Love one another.
Dating; let’s talk about it. Similar to the above, NEVER feel pressured to do anything. I’ve talked about my Grindr/dating horror stories here, so I can speak from experience, I understand the pressures you may feel. Don’t feed into it. If you don’t want to do something and the person or people pressure you, they are not looking out for you and your interests. Get away from them. It doesn’t matter if you are midway through a date, making out, sex, or whatever else. Your body, your autonomy, your choice, your comfort, and your consent comes first.
Friendships. Over the years I’ve had conversations on how to find and make meaningful friendships as an adult with all different people. My best advice boils down to being bold, open, and vulnerable. Be bold and show up. Don't know where to start? Find a specialty group in your interests. Sports, forums, gaming channels, etc. Show up and if you show up enough to a place, you'll notice regulars who also likely share your interests. Be open to getting to know them, and more importantly yourself as you explore your out life. Finally, be vulnerable to the changes and be real with your feelings. Most newly out people have had to live a double-life for so many years it's hard to open up. I implore you to breathe, relax, and stay mindful of your feelings and emotions as your world begins to open up anew.
Build a support network. Once you begin making friends start building out a group of people who you can depend on. Life throws out some high highs and some low lows, and sometimes we need some help to roll with them. It's important to remember that you don't have to go through life alone, and there are people who love and care about you.
This is the most important one I can think of: LIVE LIFE! Seriously, now that you're out, be you! Your true you! Have fun, feel the weight lifted off your shoulders and be proud of who you are and where you've come from.
That's just a snippet and I'm sure I'll think of others as time goes on but know that I love you, support you, and want the world for you!
prguitarman
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