To Everybody’s Caretaker,
I know that you so often feel lost—so often feel worthless—and as though those around you do not really need or cherish your love, but that logic is flawed. You are not a transaction, and others’ love for you does not come at a price.
You, my little snickerdoodle, so often focus your energies on your friends and partners that you can only somehow see their strengths and not your own, but let me tell you, this kindness does not make you weak. Your supportive nature does not make you simple. And your compassion does not make you so easy to take advantage of.
Although…you are easy to take advantage of. But, that is not your fault. You trust and you give and you try, and it is not a reflection of your nature when people misuse you. It is not a reflection of your nature when others are greedy and abusive.
You, instead, are responsible for your own shine—and shine, you do. Only, not frequently and long-lasting enough because you always find yourself falling back into old habits. Self-care, instead, falls to the wayside, and you begin tending again to your little community.
You over-extend. You find yourself growing tired, and you feel selfish for feeling fatigued—guilty for not having the energy to carry on the way you have been. You pour from an empty cup. You do not know when you last ate, but you remind your friends to drink some water. You do not have a therapy session booked because you just “can’t find the time,” but you tell your friends to take their medicine. As your ability to cater wavers, you think, “I just have to do this one last act, and then I’ll have earned the time to rest.” But you never rest.
Darling one, you cannot best take care of anyone else if you do not first start taking care of yourself. Rest is productive, and it needn’t be earned by acts of selflessness and generosity. Rather, your body must be given time to recharge. You, and that soft way of thinking of yours, must be given time to reset; you must allow yourself this. And if you don’t, you are going to crumble. I know that you know this because you’ve been falling apart all along.
But I am here to piece you back together again. I am here to show you that the love you give to everyone else can be shared with you, too. And even if I do not last, even if I cannot uphold this forever, please know that your capacity to love resides within you; It is not the byproduct of the people you are serving, and when it comes down to it, please remember that you are capable of giving yourself the type of love that you deserve, even if no one else can or does.
With the gentleness and ferocity that is housed within us both,
P.S. You don’t always have to shoulder everyone else’s problems, and it is not self-centered to take care of your own needs before you make yourself weary taking care of others.
Song: Two by Sleeping At Last
Song: I Want You to Want Me by Letters to Cleo
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
dailybridgerton
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