Welcome and thank you for checking out my blog! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ I’m a full time writer who works on Genshin pieces in my spare time (which is rather often). Please, just call me Zenni!
Part two of “stories I want to port over from the old blog”. I’ll post a few more tomorrow.
Albedo was a master of alchemy. It was rare for him to find a problem he couldn’t solve with some ingenuity. Others called him a genius, but Albedo merely thought his work was simple for someone like him.
However, tomorrow was a very special day- the day of your birth- and he had yet to find that perfect gift. The institution of gift-giving was already a foreign enough concept. He’d mostly relied on Sucrose to tell him what to buy for who. But this time, with only a week to prepare, she’d stubbornly put her foot down. “They’re your partner,” Sucrose said. “Figure it out yourself.” So, not one to be deterred by a challenge, decided the solution was simple: if he couldn’t buy the right gift, he’d simply make you one. And at the beginning of the week, he thought it would be simple. He could make anything. It wouldn’t take much to create something perfect for you.
His first instinct had, of course, been alchemy. A new weapon seemed like a good start, and Albedo could make most of the things the blacksmith would need. The ore he’d have to find on his own, but he could break those open without much effort. But about halfway through the process of refining some old Hilichurl scrolls into something usable, Albedo realized this creation wouldn’t really be his. It would be the blacksmith doing all of the work. Therefore, the present wouldn’t be very personal, something Sucrose had drilled into him numerous times since you and he had started an official courtship.
So, his first idea was discarded.
His second plan was to make some jewelry. Albedo was pretty good at fashioning gemstones and other precious materials into various shapes. Retrieving said gems wasn’t particularly hard. Plenty of materials had been left behind by adventurers who didn’t understand exactly what was needed to transmute a gem into one of a larger size. But again, just before he started building this potential gift, he stopped. He realized that he was not creating anything. Just building something out of things that others had left behind. And that just wouldn’t do. He needed something different. Something he could make with only minimal help from others.
So, he continued thinking.
His third idea was arguably the easiest to execute, but it was not something Albedo had done before. You baked for him often, frequently bringing by delicious chocolate or fruity snacks during his long work hours. And you were a natural baker, something that still mystified him. And while he believed you were special, he decided that it couldn’t be that hard to make something for you. Baking was just another form of alchemy, after all. For an extra personal touch, he gathered all of the base ingredients himself and spent an entire day turning his sweet flowers into sugar, his wheat into flour, and procuring everything else he needed. And when all of that had gone off without a hitch, all Albedo had to do was follow a recipe Sucrose had graciously given him and the cupcakes would be ready.
And yet, for some reason, that’s not what happened. And a few hours later, Albedo was left perplexed with two trays of inedible baked goods. When he inquired with Sucrose as to why that happened, she asked him a variety of questions that only confused him more. Yes, he followed the recipe. Yes, he’d set his timers right. No, the ingredients weren’t expired. Yes, he’d been paying attention while they were baking. No, he didn’t have a clue why they turned out that way.
And so, plan number three was quite literally thrown out.
Now there he was with less than a day before your birthday, staring at a small package of rose seeds. He’d purchased them from Flora on a whim and slowly convinced himself that this was the right gift. Flowers rushed to maturity through the use of alchemy. It would have been better if he had somehow gathered the seeds himself, but Albedo knew he was running out of time. Normally, attempting something like this would take days of preparation, experimentation, and lots of research. Albedo had hours at most, and anyone who could have helped him had already gone home for the day.
So, he did the only thing he could do. He got to work.
He started with a single seed, examining it as closely as he could. He detailed its shape, size, and weight. Reviewed everything he knew about cultivating flowers and gathered anything that could possibly be used as a pot. Thankfully, he’d already gathered dirt samples for another experiment, something he could ask Sucrose to replace. After he poured the packet onto the table, he was disheartened to see there were only ten. Even if everything went perfectly, he’d be short the dozen that Sucrose had once told him was a special number.
Six, He decided. If twelve was the perfect number, then six would be just as good. He knew it was a logical leap, but it made him feel better as he planted each seed into their respective pot. For the first one, he tried special alchemy infused water that had worked well on the various Dragonspine flora. And the seed did grow, but it withered almost instantly in the warm air.
One down. Only three more mistakes to go.
The second one was a bit more successful as Albedo fed it a concoction of water from Starfell lake and a growth formula he’d made on a whim a few weeks prior. But that plant didn’t have the shine he wanted. It wasn’t quite as large as he’d seen other roses, nor was it the right color. Instead of a vibrant red, it was a meddling mix of pink and black. He assumed it was the growth formula that had been wrong and moved on without it.
Two down. Two to go.
The third one showed significantly more promise with a concoction that Sucrose had made to help grow imported flora in their camp at Dragonspine. While the color wasn’t quite as bold as Albedo wanted, he accepted that it was beautiful enough and moved on to the next seed with a new mixture. This one failed to grow at all, much to his disappointment. When he tried to use Sucrose’s formula a second time, the plant both grew and died within a few seconds; no better than the first one.
Three down, but he had one success. That might just be good enough.
To ensure that he would have at least a small bouquet, Albedo used the rest of Sucrose’s discovery on four more plants. But for the last one, he wanted something special. Something perfect and as vibrant as you were. So, as the sun dipped lower in the sky, he paced his lab, debating on how exactly to achieve the colors he wanted. His mind raced through possibilities, and he began using other plants he’d gathered to test various mixtures. A few showed promise, but most just withered. But Albedo didn’t get frustrated. Instead, he found himself enjoying the work. Others might have seen it as tedious, but he found it refreshing. It had been a long time since he’d done something just for himself, and even longer since he’d used his alchemy for you.
He was determined to get it right, no matter the time invested.
But then you showed up, much to his surprise, and the entire experiment derailed.
“Albedo?” You said, gazing at the mess the lab had turned into. It was the first time Albedo realized how obsessed he’d become with this little project. He was almost embarrassed at the chaos he’d left behind but knew you’d seen the lab in a similar state before. Such was the nature of his experiments. If anything, the state of his own clothing was much more distressing, as he’d become caked in dirt and other grime moving between all the plants at such a rapid pace.
“You are… here,” He said somewhat awkwardly. “I was not expecting you.”
“It’s almost midnight,” you said, your voice laced with concern. “I was worried about you.”
Albedo glanced outside, genuinely surprised to see how high the moon had gotten. It had only felt like an hour or two had passed, not the entire day. “I apologize,” He said. “It wasn’t my intention to worry you so.”
You looked around, eyebrows raised. “What kind of mess have you gotten yourself into this time?”
Albedo glanced at the roses he’d left behind before looking back at you. “I was almost done with my bouquet.”
“Bouquet?” You echoed. “Of what?”
“Roses,” He said. “Your favorite.”
Your eyes widened. “You mean all of this,” You waved your hands out in front of you. “Is because you were trying to grow roses… for me?”
“Yes.”
Your gaze softened as your smile widened. “You didn’t have to do all this, Albedo. The fact that you were thinking of me at all means a lot.”
“But it’s your birthday,” Albedo said. “I wanted…” He trailed off as, for the first time in a long time, words failed him. He wanted things to be special. Yet here he was, failing again. This whole week had been a mess, and he’d missed you for a majority of it, all trying to make something that would only last a short amount of time.
You stepped up in front of him, brushing your thumb under his eye. Specks of dirt hit the floor as you moved to his cheeks, and his breath hitched when your eyes met. It felt like ages since the two of you had just been together like this. He’d been home so late, and you up so early that you rarely saw each other. And that was partially his fault. He had no reason to stay out so late. He’d simply done so because it was normal. Albedo was still figuring out the whole ‘relationship’ thing. He was still trying to break down the walls around his own heart; the ones that made it difficult to love anyone.
But you were still there. You always were, even when he wasn’t there for you.
“Come home,” You said softly. “Take the day off. We can spend it together.”
Albedo nodded, blushing as you leaned in to give him a chaste yet wonderful kiss. You smiled as you pulled away, taking his hand to lead him out of the mess. He knew he’d have to apologize to Sucrose and the others later, as they wouldn’t be able to work under such conditions. But, as the bell struck midnight and he wandered home with you, Albedo realized that this is where he was really meant to be.
The world could wait for one day. All he wanted to do was spend time with you.
Part one of however many pieces I’m going to be porting over from the old blog. Go big or go home, yeah?
It was Zhongli that introduced you and, even then, Xiao almost walked right out of your life.
You were the child of an adepti with a vision of your own. Anyone that looked at you could see it, as you did nothing to hide the ears and tail that sprouted from your human form. Apparently, your father had been close to Morax after the Archon War, and had sired you sometime in the last hundred years. You were old for a human, but young to Xiao. Not that age mattered. There came a point where the years meant nothing more than dust in the wind, as he had met humans and adepti alike that didn't act their age.
Regardless, Xiao never would have met you had you not accompanied Zhongli to the inn on that particular day. You were nice enough, but not someone that would have drawn Xiao's attention (not that anyone else did either). Apparently, you had been friends with Zhongli for quite some time, and Xiao could hear you talking about him from a mile away.
"So what's he like?"
Xiao frowned, tilting his head as he waited for Zhongli's answer. "Quiet." The former Archon said. Xiao huffed. Zhongli wasn't wrong, but quiet was a gross simplification. "It is likely that he will be unwilling to speak with you."
He knew you were pouting from the tone of your voice. "I doubt I could hurt him even if I wanted to."
"No I don't believe you could."
Xiao stood up as the two of you got closer, debating his next move. He could just leave. It wouldn't be the first time he had avoided someone like you and it certainly wouldn't be the last. But he hesitated. Zhongli's visits were always welcome, even on days where Xiao was particularly upset. How disappointed would he be if Xiao simply… wasn't here? How long would the two of you wait? Zhongli was close acquaintances with Verr and had a habit of sticking around until Xiao returned from whatever mission he had set himself on. If you were even half as patient as Zhongli, Xiao would never escape. It would be better to brush you off now. Make it clear that he wasn't interested in whatever you were here for and move on with his life.
It wasn’t long before Zhongli and you stepped out onto the balcony looking over the marsh. Xiao waited, watching you carefully. You leaned on the railing, gasping as your eyes went wide. Zhongli looked up toward the rooftop, smiling with a curt nod. Xiao resisted the urge to sigh. Best to get this over with. He hopped down in near silence, but you still jumped and spun around with your hand over your heart. Zhongli chuckled. “This is Xiao,” he said before sharing your name. Xiao committed it to memory, if only out of respect for Zhongli. He doubted he’d ever see you again.
“It’s nice to meet you, Xiao,” you said, extending your hand out. Xiao looked at it, then back to you. You paused for a moment before pulling your hand away with an awkward chuckle. “Sorry. I’m just excited.”
Xiao raised an eyebrow, but Zhongli spoke for you. “Their father was friends with Pervases, so they’ve heard a lot about the Yakshas.”
“Does that make them my friend?”
Zhongli laughed. Xiao crossed his arms as his eyes fell back to you. But you met his gaze confidently, something he could begrudgingly respect. “I have a lot I want to ask you!” You said.
“No.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun!”
“No.”
You weren’t deterred. Instead, you grinned at him as if you knew something he didn’t. “I can get you some Almond Tofu.”
Xiao glared at Zhongli who simply shrugged. “I may have shared a tale or two with our companion.”
Xiao didn’t talk much that day despite your incessant prodding. But you got his attention, whether he realized it or not.
-----------
Your fifth meeting is when you changed everything.
The second, third, and fourth times you met was routine conversation behind a bribery of Almond Tofu. You asked all your questions. He answered in as few words as possible, and you somehow still thanked him at the end of it all. It baffled him, honestly, and he often wondered why he kept coming down to meet you if this was all you were going to do. But then you managed to surprise him when you showed up with a picnic basket, a red blanket, and a book. “I found the perfect spot!” You said, holding the basket out to him with a proud look on your face. “No Hilichurls, no prying eyes. Nothing but the blue sea and a spot for you and me.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Come on,” you said. “I know you don’t get out much.”
“I leave this place plenty.”
“But not to relax!” You said. “It’ll be fun!”
“Your definition of fun is vastly different from my own.”
“I’m not sure the word fun is actually in your dictionary yet.” Xiao scowled, but you just laughed. “Don’t worry! We can fix that.”
“I’m not going with you.”
“Zhongli said you would.”
Xiao scoffed. “Well he was wrong.”
“Zhongli’s never wrong.”
And that’s how Xiao ended up following you to a secluded part of the Dihua Marsh underneath a massive tree that he hadn’t spared a glance at before. There were, indeed, no Hilichurls in sight, but there were some treasure hoarders further down the beach. You didn’t pay them any mind as you laid out the blanket and food, including a plate of Almond Tofu. “I’ve gotten better at making it,” You said as you handed it to him. He took it reluctantly, trying not to look too impressed.
“We’ll see about that.”
To his chagrin, it was good. Almost better than what he’d tasted before. But you didn’t need to know that. Once he was done, he watched you eat, curious. He expected you to try and talk through your mouthfuls or ramble off between bites. Instead, you were quiet. Pensive, even, as you gazed out over the horizon. The sun was starting to dip lower in the sky, but it would be awhile before it fully went away. Xiao had no intention of keeping you out here after dark. “Why did you bring me here?”
You swallowed your last bite. “I told you already.”
“For fun?”
“To relax,” You said. “Is it working?”
“No.”
You laughed. “That’s because you’re not trying hard enough.”
“Relaxing isn’t supposed to require effort.”
“It does if you’re not used to relaxing!”
Xiao frowned. He supposed it was nice out tonight. The treasure hoarder’s mumblings were easy to ignore, and his karmic debt was simply stewing somewhere in the back of his mind, always present but resting for a time. This was… relaxing, he supposed. But he was never the type of person to relax under any circumstances. Letting down his guard meant inviting his debt right back in and poisoning the world around him.
"Hey you!"
You grimaced, looking up as the treasure hoarders approached. "They weren't here when I checked earlier," you muttered as you stood up. Xiao joined you, taking a small step in front as one man brandished a hammer.
"You're awfully close to our camp, " the man said. "And we don't like that."
"You shouldn't have set up camp so close," you said.
The man's eyes narrowed. "Scram."
"No. I don’t think we will."
Xiao glanced at you. He usually avoided fighting with humans, but there you were, chest puffed out and grinning like an idiot. What was your ploy? Bait them into a fight that Xiao would have to deal with? He scoffed, earning a glare from the man. But Xiao just glared right back and the man quickly looked away. Good. "I bet you two have got something valuable."
"Afraid the food's almost gone," you said.
"That's not good enough."
Xiao summoned his polearm and the man hesitated. But you took a step forward and put your arm in front of him. "Let me," you said, your tail flicking in what he thought was excitement.
He looked at you incredulously. "You want to fight them?"
"Don't look so worried," you said. "I've been around longer than you think."
"I'm not…"
You flicked your hand out and a flash of electricity crackled off your skin. A purple polearm appeared, hovering a few inches away. You flicked your wrist and it spun in front of you. "So. boys," you said. "What's it gonna be?"
The two men behind the hammer wielder looked at each other. The leader's grip on his weapon tightened until his knuckles turned white. "We're not afraid of you."
"Your posture says otherwise."
"Boss," one of the men said. "We probably…"
"Shut up."
You tossed your hand forward. The spear shot at the man, stopping inches from his throat. He scrambled backward and the spear followed as if you were there. "Now," you said. "Be a good boy and scram."
"I'm not..."
Thr polearm snapped behind him. Then, you pulled your hand back, knocking him off his feet. The other two looked at each other again, backing away. "Go," you said again. "Before you make a fool outta yourself." The man groaned as his subordinates helped him to his feet. And, as they hurried away, Xiao couldn't help but feel a small level of begrudging respect.
“Now,” You said with a clap of your hands. “Back to our meal!”
-----------
Your tenth meeting was a mistake, but Xiao saw you in a new light.
It was a particularly bad day for his karmic debt. He tried to bury it as he usually did; tracking down poisoned hilichurls and putting them out of their misery. He knew you were supposed to visit him today as you usually did. Maybe with Zhongli. Maybe not. It didn’t matter. He needed to dispel this feeling before he could see anyone.
But the voices were loud and incessant, driving him further and further away from the inn. It wasn’t the first time that he was struggling to hold himself together, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. But every step he took was painful. Every breath made his lungs burn. As he defeated the last hilichurl in the area, he collapsed to his knees, barely able to hold on to his consciousness. He couldn’t go back. Not like this. He couldn’t risk seeing you - or anybody - while his body was on fire. He gritted his teeth, trying to bare it. But the pain… the voices… the memories...
“Xiao?”
His eyes snapped up, blanketed by confusion. How did you find him? How did you know he was here? He needed to leave. Now. Before you got hurt. But you were by his side before he could. Through his haze, he hadn't even seen you approach. "Leave," he managed to choke out.
"No."
"Don't be so stubborn!" He snapped. But the voices got louder, drowning out his own thoughts. He reached out blindly, searching for something to drag him back to reality. He was vaguely aware of the way your hand caught his. Barely conscious when you pulled him to you. Xiao shuddered, his skin hot, but he focused on your voice, trying to hide his shame. If you noticed anything, you - mercifully - didn’t say it.
“My father was a healer,” You said as you held him. “He figured out how to help Pervases through moments like these. How to ease his karmic debt for a time. Eventually, he learned how to sense it, even from a distance. It seems that skill was passed down to me.”
“That’s how you found me?” Xiao said through painful breaths.
“I didn’t realize it was you,” You admitted. “But I felt something pulling at me. Something strong. I had to track it down… and here you are.” You shifted, letting his head rest better against your chest.
A part of Xiao wanted to pull away. This weakness was unacceptable. Unforgivable. And yet, the voices were so loud. So all-encompassing and painful that it paralyzed him. And despite the compromising position, you didn’t push him. Your arms were wrapped around him, but you didn’t do anything else. He could hear your heart beating in your chest, a pleasant cadence that slowed his own breathing. You started humming a song Xiao thought he should have recognized, breaking through the voices. Eventually, Xiao surrendered, letting himself collapse against you as his eyes closed. He didn’t sleep - he would never allow himself to be that vulnerable - but he calmed himself, focusing on your voice until you were all he heard.
-----------
Your fifteenth meeting was delayed by more than a week and Xiao couldn’t help but worry. The anxiety he definitely wasn’t feeling definitely did not get worse when Zhongli arrived instead of you. “Xiao,” he said as he looked out over the marsh.
Xiao hopped down. “Where are they?”
“I don’t know,” Zhongli said as he turned around. “They were supposed to meet me a few days ago but they never arrived.” He crossed his arms. “I was hoping you had seen them.”
“I haven’t seen them for a few days.”
“We need to find them,” Zhongli said. “Quickly. This is the longest they’ve vanished over the last two years I’ve known them.”
Xiao looked over the marsh. He called upon the wind, searching for any sign. If you were nearby, he would know. “I’ll see what I can find.”
“I’ll search Liyue again,” Zhongli said. “Let’s meet outside of the city tomorrow night.”
Xiao nodded and disappeared.
-----------
After his own search was unsuccessful, Xiao found himself in Jueyan Karst.
“I have not seen any Adepti or humans in the last few weeks,” Cloud Retainer said, stretching her wings. “Though I, admittedly, have not left my abode in quite some time.”
“And you haven’t heard anything from Mountain Shaper?” Xiao said.
“No.”
He looked back out over the horizon, feeling for the breeze. He still hadn’t sensed you, nor did he know where you had gone. But he had a feeling he was on the right track. “We need to find them,” He said.
“What do they mean to you?” Cloud Retainer sounded almost amused when she spoke, stepping up beside Xiao. “I haven't seen you this determined for anything but combat in centuries.”
“Does it matter?” Xiao said haughtily. “They’re missing.”
“Humans go missing all the time.”
“But this one…”
“Is important to you,” Cloud Retainer said. “Ah young love.”
Xiao glared at her, but she just chuckled as she stepped up to the edge. “I will search again. But if they are here, Xiao, then we might not have long.”
“I know.” He didn’t want to admit that he had already thought the same thing. Cloud Retainer left, diving down the cliffside and arching gracefully above the ground. She disappeared around another mountain, leaving Xiao alone. He took a deep breath, calling upon the wind again. Jueyan Karst was quiet. Like Cloud Retainer, he hadn’t found any humans, nor had he found you. He was only a few hours away from his meeting with Zhongli, and he loathed the idea of returning empty handed. Maybe if they were lucky, Zhongli had already found you and this was one big misunderstanding.
A quiet noise caught his attention. He dropped to one knee, narrowing his eyes as he searched. The wind picked up around him, pulling the sounds of the earth to his ears. Another quiet voice rang out. He spun around, teleporting to the other side of the mountain. It was you. It had to be. But your voice was so quiet. So strained that he could barely pick it up.
Come on.
“Xiao…”
He’d never been so relieved to hear his name in his life. He dropped down, plummeting through the sky. His heart clenched as he heard a sob, followed by laughter. “Listen to them,” A man’s voice said. “Calling for a lover? Well they won’t find you here.” Xiao spun in the air and summoned his polearm, diving on top of a group of Hilichurls that were guarding a cave entrance. The smaller ones disintegrated, and he dispatched the larger one before it had a chance to react. More descended upon him, but he summoned his mask and fought them off before any became a threat. Another noise pulled him into the cave. He dashed forward, slicing through another Hilichurl before he reached a sealed off entrance. He called your name, listening as it echoed off the walls.
“Xiao!”
He climbed the wall, darting through a small opening at the top. Inside were numerous veins of beautiful crystals all jutting out of the walls at various angles. A large orange stalagmite hung from the ceiling and below it were a group of treasure hoarders all in a circle. When they spun around, Xiao could barely contain his rage when he saw you tied up behind them, bloody and bruised. Relief crossed your face and he knew you’d been crying. The leader - the same man from before - stepped forward. “It’s you,” You gasped as the man grabbed you by the shirt and dragged you to your feet. “I knew they were hiding something valuable.”
“Let them go.”
The man laughed. “You honestly think you can take all of us?”
“Yes.”
“Xiao,” You said. “It’s not…” The man dragged you back, shutting you up. But as he moved to speak again, Xiao was already on top of him, tearing you away. The man flew into the far wall, falling unconscious the second he hit. The others scrambled for an escape, but Xiao knocked each one of them down. It took a great amount of effort to hold back. He didn’t know what he would have done if you hadn’t been there. Or, worse, if they had killed you. The thought made his blood boil but he held back, letting the few that remained conscious run for the only exit that was left. He darted back to your side, cutting you free. He froze as you collapsed in his arms, hugging him tightly. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close as he could.
“When they found me on the road…” You shook your head before burying it into his chest. “I didn’t want to bring them here but he said he would kill me and I believed him and…”
“What is this place?”
“My father brought me here as a child,” You said. “Said it was one of the few remaining untouched mines in Liyue. It was a gamble bringing them here, but it seems no one wanders into Jueyun Karst looking for precious metals.”
“You should have called for me sooner.”
“I didn’t think you’d hear me.”
“I’ll always hear you,” He said. “No matter where you are, I’ll come to your side.”
You pressed your face further into his chest, your shoulders sagging as you took a deep breath. “I’ll remember that.”
-----------
The Lantern Rite happened around your eighteenth meeting, and Xiao was not thrilled about it.
“I’m not going,” He told you two days before as you sat together on the rooftop of the inn.
“I haven’t even asked you,” You said, nudging him with your shoulder with a knowing grin.
He huffed. “But you were going to.”
“I think it would be…”
“Fun?” He said, glaring at you.
You laughed. “Yeah, that.”
“I’ve told you before,” Xiao said. “Nothing is fun when there are people around.”
“You seem to enjoy your time with me.”
Xiao scowled at you, but you just smiled back. You weren’t wrong per say, but Xiao didn’t want to admit it. You were kind to him. Considerate of his feelings. You took things slow, even in normal conversations. You’d never brought up his karmic debt, nor had you said anything about his moment of weakness. Visits had become more frequent - at least once a week - and he’d even let you tag along to cull the local hilichurls, even though he did most of the fighting. Not because you didn’t try to help, but because Xiao never let anyone else fight his battles. But you were reliable. Honest. Carefree. You brought something new to his life, and Xiao still didn’t know how to feel about it.
It didn’t mean he wanted to go to Liyue with you, especially not on a night as busy as the Lantern Rite.
“Zhongli would love to see you.”
“Then he should come visit more often,” Xiao said, his face deadpanned. Zhongli’s visits had been much less frequent now that you had taken over Xiao’s time. You said that he was busy with funeral parlor work, but Xiao wasn’t sure if he believed it, especially since you had shown up twice now with medicine from Zhongli and a note apologizing for not delivering it personally. For all he knew, Zhongli was purposefully staying away, trying to give you two time alone.
And… well… it was working.
“There’s nothing special about the Lantern Rite,” Xiao said. “You’ve seen plenty of them before.”
“But never with someone.”
“You’ve lived for 80 years…” Xiao said.
“Give or take,” You nodded.
“And you’ve never been to the Lantern Rite with someone.”
“Family doesn’t count.” You looked up at the sky. Clouds had started to roll in, but Xiao didn’t bother taking you inside. Verr would give you a room if it started to rain. Until then, nobody would see the two of you. “I’ve been in Jueyun Karst during the last few Lantern Rites,” You said, drawing shapes on the roof. “It was… painful after my mother died.” You had never told him about your mother, but Xiao had assumed she had passed away. You weren’t a full adepti, after all, so your human genes had to come from somewhere. “She loved the Lantern Rite and would always make lanterns for the whole family, even when she got older. She taught me how to do it, but I never made them as well as she did. And when she passed away… well…” You sighed. “It was hard to keep up the tradition, especially when my father left.”
“You live on your own, then.”
“I never told you, huh?”
“No.”
“I’ve been alone for the last five years,” you said. “I help the shopkeepers in Liyue, but my father left me the house and a small fortune to make sure I was well taken care of until I figured out what I want to do with my life.”
“And you haven’t figured it out yet?”
“Have you?”
What an odd question. “I fight,” He said simply.
“Is that all you want to do?”
“It’s all I can do.”
“That’s not true,” You said. “I’m certain you can do a lot of things.”
“The life of a human is not for me.”
“I’m starting to think it's not for me either,” You closed your eyes as a breeze picked up, tilting your head back. A few droplets of rain hit Xiao’s hand, but he watched you, waiting to see if you wanted to leave. When you didn’t move, he relaxed, drawing some of the breeze to make a small shield over your heads. “But I don’t want to be alone.”
Xiao was silent. Alone. He knew what that felt like. Even when other Yaskha had been alive or when Rex Lapis wasn’t wandering the mortal plain, Xiao had always felt some level of loneliness. It wasn’t something he couldn’t handle, nor was it something he had paid much attention to. But as the years had gone by the karmic debt had gotten worse and worse, Xiao had accepted that he would forever be alone. Even Zhongli’s visits hadn’t replaced that feeling. But now that he had met you… now that he had some time to think about a possible future…
He shook his head. “That is a very human concern.”
“I am part human,” You said, looking back at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. “I suppose that will always be a weakness of mine, hm?”
Again, Xiao said nothing. Months ago, he would have told you ‘yes’ and been done with it. Human emotions would always be a hindrance. They would always drag you down. Always remind you of things you missed or things you could never have. An Adepti had no need of those emotions. And yet… he couldn’t be angry at you for feeling them. Xiao didn’t think he could be angry at you at all. Not anymore. You were too close.
You bumped his shoulder again. “Whatcha thinking about?”
Xiao sighed. “You really want me to go, don’t you?”
“Only if you want to.”
And that’s how Xiao ended up outside of Liyue the night of the Lantern Rite, wondering how you’d managed to wrap him so tightly around your finger. The other Adepti would mock him for such a thing.
He hovered on the edge of the town, watching the people from a safe distance. You had promised to meet him just before the sun went down, and you still had some time before you were late. Xiao had come early, if only to keep himself from backing out. The last time he had come close to the Lantern Rite had been two years ago when the Traveller had attended. But Xiao hadn’t gone into the city then, and he thought he was going crazy for agreeing to it now. But you had promised him that you wouldn’t stay in the crowds for too long. Instead, you were going to watch the Lanterns from the roof of your home which was, apparently, a short trip through town. Xiao had stopped himself from demanding that he simply teleport there, more than aware that you wanted to spend all the time with him that you could.
“This is a stupid idea,” He muttered as he sat on the cliffside. He could still turn you down. Sure, you would be disappointed, but Xiao could go back to the Wangshu Inn and pretend none of this had ever happened. Maybe he would even be-
His thoughts stopped when he saw you waving from below. You were wearing the fanciest outfit he had ever seen you in, and the fabric was a very familiar shade of green. Gold accents glittered in the remaining sunlight and Xiao couldn’t look away. After a moment of staring at each other - you with that infuriating smile on your face - Xiao hopped down, landing with a gentle breeze. “You’re here!” You said.
“Were you worried I would break my promise?”
“Maybe a little,” You said sheepishly. “I know this is… difficult for you.”
Xiao huffed, but his eyes remained trained on you. “Let’s get this over with.”
You paused for a moment, wringing your hands together. Xiao raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Can I…”
“Speak.”
“Hold your hand?”
Xiao stared at you, perplexed. “Why?”
“So we don’t get separated,” you said far too quickly. Your cheeks were a deep shade of pink and you weren’t meeting his gaze. Xiao hadn’t seen you this nervous in… ever actually. You were always too confident for your own good.
“I won’t lose you.”
“Well…”
An awkward silence fell between the two of you. “Now that I’ve ruined the mood,” you muttered. “Let’s…”
Xiao reached his hand out before he had a chance to second guess himself, taking one of yours. Your blush deepened as your eyes widened in surprise, but you didn’t let go. Instead, you squeezed his hand as if testing whether or not he was real. “If we go through the busiest part of town…” Xiao said. “I will let go.”
You laughed, hiding your blush behind your other hand. “I have a different route we can take.”
Surprisingly, the walk was pleasant. You talked the whole way there, but Xiao didn’t mind it. He found himself asking questions he would never have asked before, listening to stories you’d never told him, and watching as you interacted with the few people you walked by. He’d caught the eye of a couple of people, but had glared at them before they asked any questions. By the time you reached your home, Xiao was more comfortable than he had been in a long time.
As he hopped onto the rooftop, you disappeared inside, promising to meet him before the rest of the lanterns were released. It was surprisingly quiet as Xiao gazed out at the sea with an arm on his knee. The docks were bustling with activity, but only the wind carried their voices to him. He tilted his head back as his thoughts wandered. How quickly you’d wormed your way into his life, burrowing deep into his mind and never letting go. He looked forward to your visits now, even though he never told you that. Maybe he should. Xiao still wasn’t sure how to approach such a topic.
He glanced over his shoulder as you hopped onto the rooftop, your tail swaying in the wind. In your hand was a Xiao Lantern with its flame already lit. You beamed with pride, holding it out to him. “I’ve still got it!”
“It is… acceptable.”
You stuck your tongue out as you sat beside him, gazing at the lantern. “So what are you going to wish for?”
“Adepti do not need wishes.”
You rolled your eyes. “It’s the thought that counts.”
“I have nothing to wish for.”
You hummed, putting your hand on the lantern. “Well I do,” you whispered, meeting his gaze. You blushed again, but didn’t look away.
“And what is that.”
“If I tell you, it won’t come true.”
It was Xiao’s turn to roll his eyes, but you just laughed. Suddenly, it was the best sound in the world. “We can at least release it together.”
As the other lanterns rose in the sky, you and Xiao let go of your own. And as he watched it rise with the others, he found himself wishing for a brighter future.
-----------
Your twenty-third meeting was when things got serious.
After nearly a year and a half of this back and forth you’d been having with each other - a short time in Xiao’s eyes - your visits were becoming more frequent. The Lantern Rite had emboldened you it seemed, but Xiao found that he didn’t really mind it. Now, he waited for you to visit, and used the wind to make sure you were safe. He often teleported close to Liyue, dispatching any Hilichurls that might cause you trouble or scaring off Treasure Hoarders from the path. He’d even gone to your home once or twice, but had always ended up at the Funeral Parlor instead.
“You are afraid,” Zhongli said one day as he sipped his tea.
“I fear nothing.” Xiao said.
“And yet here you are, instead of with them.”
Xiao didn’t come back to Liyue after that, preferring to wait for you at the Inn like he always did. The less you knew about his nighttime escapades the better.
On this particular day, you were quieter than usual, gazing out over the horizon with a small smile on your face. Xiao sat down beside you and took note of the way your injuries were healing. There would be some scaring, but the visible bruises had turned a light shade of yellow. He called your name and you looked at him, your smiling widening. “Fancy seeing you here.” He rolled his eyes and you laughed, your hand brushing the back of his before you pulled away. Xiao glanced at his fingers for a split second before forcing himself to look back at you.
“Why are you here?”
“To ask you for a favor.”
“What kind of favor?”
“I’m curious about your home.”
Xiao gestured to the Inn. “I stay here.”
“On the roof?”
“Most of the time.”
“Even when it rains?”
Xiao scoffed. “If you must know, I have a room I use sparingly.”
“Can I see it?”
“No.”
You laughed and bumped his shoulder in that way you always did when you were amused with something he said. This time, however, Xiao felt something warm in the pit of his stomach. His eyes flickered to your hands for the briefest of moments, watching as the fingers brushed his leg, but retreated when you noticed he was looking. “Sorry,” You said quickly. “I wasn’t thinking.”
You’ve done nothing wrong. Was what he wanted to say. What came out was a grunt as he stubbornly looked away.
“It’s okay,” You said. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your personal space.”
Xiao looked back up at you as you pulled your knees to your chest and stared out over the horizon. What was that supposed to mean? Was this some kind of trick to get him to agree to it? Xiao didn’t know… but he also didn’t understand the way his heart twisted in his chest at the thought of letting you down. “Besides,” You continued softly. “That would be the first time we’ve been truly alone.”
“Is that what you want?”
You looked over at him, resting your cheek on your knees. The way your eyes sparkled in the dwindling sunlight made him lightheaded. You were still smiling, but there was a flicker of hesitation in your expression, something he wouldn’t have caught if he wasn’t staring at you so intently. “I wouldn’t mind.”
There it was again. The flutter in his stomach that he just couldn’t suppress. It was mortifying the way you’d managed to crawl your way into his life, right past thousands of years of walls and chaos. You shouldn’t be here with him. You never should have met him. His karmic debt never should have allowed this. And yet, it had been tame as of late. The more time he’d spent with you, the easier it was to bear. Xiao was aware of this, even though he would deny it if asked. Nobody needed to know that you were carefully pulling his world apart.
Truly alone…
Maybe he could get to the bottom of these… feelings.
Xiao stood up and hopped off the rooftop. You moved to the edge, confused. “Xiao?”
“Come,” He said. Without a word, you slipped off the roof, and he made sure you landed gently on your feet. His hand wrapped around your wrist as he pulled you away, ignoring the looks of other guests and Verr herself.
He would fix this hole you’d chiseled away. One way or another.
It had been some time since Xiao had been in his own room, and he was suddenly grateful that Verr had continued to leave it empty for him. It was a modest place, one of the older rooms on the top floor left unrenovated at his request. The bed was much larger than he would ever need, and its wooden frame matched the dark wood floors and furniture around the room. The last of the sunlight streamed through the doors on the other side of the room leading out to a small balcony space. Xiao never slept here. He had no reason to. But he did come to think from time to time. Otherwise, the room didn’t mean that much to him.
But the way your eyes lit up when you saw it made him wonder just what you were thinking.
“This is nice,” You said, turning toward him.
“It’s a room,” Xiao said.
“But it’s your room.”
He took your wrist and wasn’t certain why you smiled. “You’re too vulnerable.”
“Only with you.”
“Why?”
“Because I trust you.”
He said nothing, but the longer he stared at you, the more he felt like his heart was going to burst. His lungs burned. His mouth was dry, his throat scratchy. Muscles tensed as you reached out to brush them, but he didn’t pull away. He couldn’t suppress the shiver that rocked him to the core and scowled when your smile widened. “Foolish,” He muttered. You chuckled, drawing aimless shapes into his skin. Xiao felt heat rise to his cheeks, and he narrowed his eyes in an attempt to dispel it. He knew from your widening smile that his ploy had failed.
Why was his body reacting this way?
Why did he crave your touch?
His hand tightened around your wrist and he saw a tint to your eyes he hadn’t seen before. He hesitated, trying to parse through his own emotions. He spoke your name, and his breath hitched as your free hand pressed against his chest.
“You’re beautiful,” You whispered.
Then, you kissed him. For a moment, he went slack and his mind blanked. He didn’t kiss you back but you didn’t pull away. Instead, you both sat there, lips locked but unmoving. And when you did start to retreat, he followed, letting his eyes shut as he consumed you. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. And he might have been offended by the sheer audacity if it didn’t feel so good. So right.
So... infuriating.
He pulled away and called your name again. You hummed in response as your nails grazed down his spine. He bristled at your touch, but not because it was unpleasant. Quite the contrary. Xiao felt like he was going to fall apart. “It’s alright.” You said. His brows furrowed as he prepared some kind of retort. But you kept going. “If you don’t want this...”
“I do,” He said without hesitation, even surprising himself. But it was true. All these months you’d been together. The conversations you’d had. The stray touches and gentle looks. All of it had culminated into this. But Xiao wanted to embrace it. He realized that you had, in fact, torn down every wall he’d tried to keep between you. There was no fixing them. At least, not in the same way they’d been there. There was a deep desire to give you what you wanted. What he wanted. He’d never felt this consumed by something so human in his life.
When your free hand brushed his cheek, he nearly came undone. “Then enjoy it.”
Xiao let himself relax and kissed you again, savoring the taste of you on his tongue. He’d never been this close to anyone. Never let himself get this close to anyone. He’d always kept his distance, even when he was younger. Human emotions were useless. Unforgiving. Complicated. The fact that he humored them at all was mystifying. But, for once in his long life, Xiao let himself fall into the abyss. He pulled you into his arms. Kissed you with something close to reckless abandon. He let his fingers drift over your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He let you touch him, exposing his soul in a way he never had. No matter how hard he wanted to deny it, Xiao knew he had fallen hard; too hard. Or maybe just hard enough. He wasn’t sure anymore, but his mind was too far gone to care. In that moment, all he wanted was you. And, with your permission, he took everything you wanted to give him, surrendering himself to bliss for the first time in two thousand years.
----------
Xiao knew something was wrong when you had your first nightmare.
Two months had passed since you both committed wholeheartedly to the relationship and you had started working at the Inn during the weekends, visiting Xiao as often as you could. Verr gave you a significant amount of time off during your visits, citing that “there isn’t much work to do''. But Xiao knew better. The Inn owner was more than aware of your relationship and she was giving you all the space you needed to make it blossom. After a few weeks, Xiao found he didn’t mind. Spending time with you made him… happy for the first time in a very, very long time. On the few occasions that his karmic debt tried to take over, you had been there, soothing him until it all went away.
But tonight… Tonight was a bad night.
Xiao sat by your bedside, watching you as he usually did when he decided not to sleep. You were tossing and turning, whimpering as you curled up, clutching the pillow for dear life. Xiao frowned. Despite his frequent experiences with nightmares, he had never seen you have one before. At least, not like this. You had jerked awake once or twice, but you had always laughed those off saying it was something absurd like being chased by a giant bug. Xiao hadn’t quite believed you, but you had no reason to lie to him so he let it go. But tonight, there was no denying that your nightmare was haunting you, and he had a sneaking suspicion that it might be similar to one of his own.
Suddenly, you jerked awake, panting as your hand flew to your chest. Xiao called your name, placing his hand on yours. For a moment, you did nothing. Just stared at the window with a glossy look in your eyes. Then, you finally turned to face him, your movements sluggish as you put your feet on the ground and closed your eyes. “What happened?” Xiao said.
“Voices,” You whispered. “Angry voices.”
Xiao’s heart sank. “You’ve taken a piece of my karmic debt.”
You looked up, confused. “How did that happen?”
He scoffed. “How do you think?”
“No…” You murmured, staring down at your hands as if you were looking at a completely different person. Xiao could see the disbelief on your features. He resisted the urge to sigh as his fist clenched on his knee. He had thought this was impossible, but he had never been in such a committed relationship. Maybe it was inevitable. This was his penance after all. His suffering. It was meant for him and him alone. Now… he had dragged someone he cared about right under the waves with him.
“Now do you understand the gravity of the situation?” He said.
“Xiao…”
“This is my burden to bear. My choices that led you to this fate.”
Anger swept over you. “Don’t you dare,” You said. “Don’t you dare try to take away my responsibility. We made this choice, Xiao. We made it together. You didn’t force me to do anything, and I didn’t force you. It was a mutual agreement, one we only came to because we trust each other.” Your voice broke on the final word as your ears flatten on your head. “You still trust me… right?”
Xiao sighed, still not looking at you. He didn’t want you to see the truth. He didn’t want you to see how painful this was for him. Maybe then… things would be easier. “This is my burden to bear,” He said again. “You should not have been dragged into it.”
“Our connection is too strong now,” You whispered. His eyes narrowed, but he said nothing. “You can’t just walk away.”
“I will if I must.”
“Xiao.”
“It’s to protect you.”
You shook your head. “You’d just be protecting yourself.”
He went silent again and realized you were shaking. You didn’t blame you. Maybe you felt the same way. Everything was moments from crashing down. The comfort and bliss he’d let himself fall into was coming undone before his eyes. The friendship you’d made. The thoughts and fears you’d shared. The time you’d spent just encouraging him to open up - to trust - that was all falling apart. Even if you were an adepti… you couldn’t bear this.
Sueenly, you sat up straighter and took a deep breath. “Centuries ago, my father made a deal with Rex Lapis.” His brows furrowed in slight confusion. Where are you going with this? “You see, my father wasn’t the strongest of the adepti, but he was one of the most cunning. He knew his way around a battlefield, not as a warrior, but as a spy. He knew the shadows better than anyone. Some would even say they molded to his touch and bent to his will.” You stood up. “My father knew his own weaknesses, so he made a contract; Rex Lapis’s protection in exchange for his services. And it is thanks to that contract that I, born centuries later, can live in the peaceful way that I do.”
“And?” He said, still unmoving.
“But after the years that I have walked in this world, I have learned a great many things. I am not some fragile human to be babied or forgotten, nor am I a warrior capable of tearing down armies or gods or demons. I, like my father, have talents in other places.” You put a hand to your chest and took a deep breath. “That is why… I wish to make a contract with you.”
That got his attention. “You’re a fool.”
“I will shoulder this portion of your karmic debt,” you said
“You no longer have a choice in the matter.” His voice was shockingly bitter, but he couldn’t help it. He did care, even if he didn’t want to show it. All he wanted was for you to leave… and yet, he didn’t want to see you go.
“I will learn how to fight,” You continued. “So that no demon will harm me.”
Another pause. “ And what do you want in return? My protection?”
“Your friendship,” You said softly.
Xiao scoffed. “My friendship.” You nodded and he looked away. “What good will that do?” His anger was palpable, but he wasn’t sure who it was directed toward; you or himself.
“Well I…”
“You will never understand me,” Xiao said. “No matter how much of my burden you try to take away.”
He saw the way you blinked away your tears. “But I want to.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Xiao.”
“I will not be making a contract with you,” he said simply. “And I suggest you move on before I hurt you anymore.”
With that, he was gone in a gust of wind.
------------
When Xiao returned two days later, he knew he had made a terrible mistake.
Zhongli was at your bedside when Xiao arrived, and the former Archon didn’t even look back when he spoke. “You shouldn’t have left them.” Xiao said nothing as he sat in the window, mask in one hand and spear vanishing from the other. Zhongli sighed as he stood up from his seat and turned around, arms crossed. It took everything Xiao had not to flinch away. The man didn’t look angry just… disappointed. And considering the hatred Xiao currently felt for himself… he didn’t blame Zhongli one bit.
“You know what happened.” It wasn’t a question.
“You shared your karmic debt.”
“It wasn’t…”
“On purpose?” Zhongli said. “I highly doubt you would have willingly transferred such a thing to someone you deeply care for.” Again, Xiao said nothing. Zhongli continued. “It does not matter how it happened, but running away will do either of you little good.”
“What’s wrong with them?”
“Their body is adapting,” Zhongli said. “The karmic debt is burrowing a path into their soul. I suspect that being near you would have kept it at bay for a little while, but the time for that has long passed.” He turned back around, reaching for your head. “The fever has gone down at least, and I suspect the nightmares have passed given their current relaxed state.”
Xiao looked down at you as his own nightmares flashed in his mind. He’d assumed that getting as far away from you as possible was the only solution. But once again, he’d been a fool.
“Why did you return?” Zhongli said.
“They called my name.”
Zhongli hummed. “Yes I suppose I have heard your name once or twice in the last few hours.” He sat back down in his chair and picked up a cup of tea. Silence descended over the room, but unlike usual, it made Xiao squirm. He hated this. He hated Zhongli’s silence. Hated the state you were in. Hated himself for putting you in that spot to begin with. As much as you wanted to take responsibility, all he could do was blame himself. He should have been the stronger one. He never should have given in to such desires. You weren’t a human, but you were fragile in other ways, and all Xiao could think was that he had broken you and left so many unseen scars that you would never be the same.
“This is not your fault,” Zhongli said.
“But…”
“You cannot blame yourself for wanting the comfort of another person,” he continued. “Nor should you ever be expected to bear such a weight on your own.”
“This is my life,” Xiao said. “I have come to accept it.”
“But with them, you have a chance to be something more.”
“I have tainted them.”
Zhongli shook his head. “They are not human, Xiao. This debt they now hold is but a small piece of the suffering you endure. They will adapt and heal over time.”
“What would you have me do?” Xiao said, trying to hide the anger in his voice. “I tried to do what was best. I tried to be what they wanted. I let myself go for a single night and nearly killed them for it.”
“This was months in the making.”
“Take them to Liyue,” Xiao said. “And don’t let them come back.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“The further they are from me, the better.”
“Do you not feel it?” Zhongli said. “There is a bond between the two of you now.”
“My debt…”
“It is more than that,” Zhongli said, pausing to sip his tea in contemplation. Xiao waited, even though he wished he could just disappear. This was pointless. You had said the same thing. But there was nothing now. No magic holding you together. Nothing but…
“The two of you are adepti, and your powers have joined together,” Zhongli said. “And that is a bond not so easily broken.”
“But I must break it,” Xiao said.
“Or embrace it,” Zhongli countered. “And accept that this is their choice as much as it is yours.”
I wish to make a contract with you. He had almost laughed at your suggestion, thinking it short sighted. And your stipulations were too broad. His friendship? How could that possibly balance out the scales after what he’d done to you? But now he realized that you’d been merely giving him a chance. Friendship… no you wanted more than that. You just hadn’t been willing to say it. Maybe you hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. Maybe you hadn’t wanted to risk rejection - not that that had helped you any. Maybe you felt that pull - that bond - stronger than he did.
No… as he looked down at you, Xiao was certain he felt it too. As much as it pained him… as much as he didn’t want to admit it… it was more than his karmic debt weighing on him. It was so much more.
But what could he do? Being with you would only hurt you more.
“Their choice,” Zhongli repeated as if reading Xiao’s mind. The adeptus wouldn’t be surprised. Rex Lapis had many strange powers, even in his human form.
“Their choice,” As he spoke, you whimpered, rolling onto your side as you curled up in a ball. Xiao felt his gaze soften and his heart go weaker than he’d ever felt it before. Another nightmare. But this… this was one he wouldn’t run away from. Zhongli left the room as Xiao approached you. He sat on the edge of the bed as you turned onto your back, face contorted in pain. He gently took your hand, sliding his fingers into your palm and kneading them against your skin. When you grimaced, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your temple. “Sleep well,” he whispered, drawing his fingers along your cheek. You settled back into the bed, your expression softening. And even as you slipped into comfortable sleep, Xiao stayed by your side.
-----------
Two more days passed before you awoke, but you were surprised to find that you didn’t remember any nightmares or unpleasant dreams. Your mind was blissfully blank, and you felt more well rested than you had in a long time. Odd since you could still feel the weight of Xiao’s karmic debt in your chest; a sharp reminder of your choices. But the pressure it caused had softened considerably. The voices were no more than a quiet whisper that you could easily ignore. And, despite the fact that Xiao would berate you for it if he knew, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. What you had was but a small bucket from the sea of his suffering. You had hoped your companionship would be enough to keep it at bay, but now it seemed that same companionship had driven him away.
A soft thump by the window drew your attention, and you nearly jumped when Xiao appeared. Your breath caught in your throat. You’d been so certain he would never return. So sure that you had lost him. But here he was. At least, you hoped it was him. You briefly wondered if you were dreaming, yet to truly wake up.
“You’re awake.”
You exhaled and nodded, more confident than before. If this was a dream, you were more than willing to hold onto it. “I think so.” Xiao grunted, setting his polearm up against the wall. “I feel better,” You offered. He said nothing as he moved across the room.
“I wish to make a contract with you,” Xiao said. You blinked, surprised, but also relieved. That was a good sign at least. Maybe he didn’t despise you after all.
“What kind of contract?”
“I will teach you how to fight,” He said. “And you will learn everything you can.”
A part of you deflated. You supposed that was better than nothing. “Seems simple enough.”
“In exchange…” You perked up at that, uncertain where he was going with it. After a moment’s pause, he looked you straight in the eye and said “we will continue this… relationship of ours.”
You felt your jaw go slack. Xiao huffed, crossing his arms. “Is that not good enough?”
“Relationship?” You said. “You want…” You stopped yourself, taking a deep breath before you passed out. “I thought you hated me now.”
Xiao’s eyes went undeniably soft even though his overall demeanor didn’t change. “I believe you were the one who said our bond is too strong to break.”
“Yes but… with the whole karmic debt thing…”
Xiao sighed. “What’s done is done. It is better to prepare you to handle it then try to change the past.”
“But do you regret it?”
“Regret what?”
“Being with me?”
Silence followed. Your heart lurched into your throat and you suddenly wished you hadn’t said anything. Maybe ‘relationship’ had just been his way of saying ‘friendship’ and you’d misinterpreted the entire thing. Maybe you’d been too hopeful and he was about to send your world crashing right back down.
“I did for a time,” Xiao said. “But I’ve realized it wasn’t for the right reasons.”
“What do you mean?”
“I regret the suffering I have inflicted upon you,” Xiao said. “But no… I do not regret the decisions that we made.”
“So does that mean…” You trailed off as he crossed his arms.
“Mean what?”
“That you…”
“Speak your mind.”
“Care for me?”
Another long silence. This one made you want to scurry into a hole and forget you said anything. But then his shoulders relaxed and his arms uncrossed. He took a step toward you, his eyes never leaving your own. And, instead of saying anything, he reached for your wrist and pressed a chaste kiss to the inside, gazing up at you with something that could be fondness if you squinted just right. Your heart did a backflip, but you didn’t dare move. You didn’t dare break the spell that had descended between the two of you. Let him move. Let him choose. You didn’t care. You just wanted to feel that same warmth and love you’d shared before in whatever way he was willing to give it.
“Do you agree to our contract?” Xiao said into your skin, still not looking away.
“Yes,” You said, breathless as he nuzzled your wrist and kissed it again. You never expected something so simple to feel so wildly intimate. It made you want to melt on the spot.
Finally, just seconds before you crumbled, he pulled away. “Then it is done.”
“Xiao…”
“What?”
“I love you.”
Again, the silence was deafening. This time, you were prepared, even though the words had spilled from your mouth with little regard for the outcome. Yet, you found he didn’t look at you with contempt or exasperation. He wasn’t tense or seconds from disappearing again. Tentatively, you reached out and put your hand on his shoulder. He didn’t push you away. “I cannot say those words yet,” Xiao said. “But… I care deeply for you.”
You hugged him close, grateful when he hugged you back. And in that moment, you knew everything would be okay.
