Could I have Edward Elric X reader, where the reader tries to make Ed feel better as he feels bad about his automail, and assuring him that AL doesn't hate him for what happened??
Of course, lovely! Sorry for how late this is. Ed is pretty mean to himself in this, so proceed with caution if that can be an issue for you.
Self-Conscious!Edward x Reader
Why wasn’t he good enough? Why did he ever think he could do what generations of top alchemists couldn’t? Why did he drag Al into it? How could he ever fix this? He was so pathetic.
Edward was trembling, his hand pressed against the bridge between his shoulder and automail. His silent sobs racking through his body as the self deprecating thoughts only heightened the pain from his automail.
But what right did he have to complain? He could still eat and drink. And, as nightmare filled as they were, he could still have dreams while he slept. He stole that from Al. Al probably hated him as much as he hated himself and the damn automail. He couldn’t blame Al if he did. Al was just too kind, too good, to say anything.
Edward was so absorbed in his spiraling thoughts and the pain in his shoulder that he didn’t hear you come in. Nor did he hear the concerned call of his name. Straining your ears, you could hear him muttering under his breath. The cruel self-deprecating words made your heart ache for the poor boy. He had already been through so much, why did his own mind have to fight him as well?
After a few moments of debating with yourself, you gently placed a hand against his, heart aching at the slight flinch and far off look in his eyes. Squeezing his hand lightly, you spoke, voice soft.
“Ed, can you look at me, love?”
Edward lifted his head, and golden eyes met yours, and your heart broke at the despair in them, how the ordinarily bright eyes were glazed over. It was at that moment that you knew, without a doubt, that you would do anything for the golden hearted boy. If he struggled to give himself the love he deserved, you would do it for him.
“I’m so proud of you, Ed.” You smiled softly at him, unable to hide how enamored with him you were. “You fight so hard for everyone else, it’s okay to take a break for yourself once in a while.”
He shook his head, turning it away as tears finally began to fall down his cheeks. “I can’t rest,” he rasped, “Not until Al can too.”
Frowning, you gently turned Edward’s head so he was looking at you. “Al will not blame you if you take time for yourself and to rest.”
“He should!” Edward sobbed, voice cracking. “He probably hates me…”
You swallowed roughly, heart jumping into your throat. Even after everything they’ve been through together, Edward was afraid that his brother, whom he sacrificed everything for, hated him.
“Edward,” He startled, surprised by the use of his full name. “Al does not hate you, I promise.” You needed him to know that. Alphonse, if he caught wind of this, would need him to know that. The only person who hated Edward… was Edward himself.
“How do you know that?” Edward’s voice shook slightly as he spoke, as if he was afraid of the answer.
You managed a weak smile, with the hopes of appearing reassuring. “Would you hate him if the roles were reversed?” Of course he wouldn’t, it was Edward after all. He could never hate Alphonse. He told you as such, visibly offended at the mere possibility.
“Then why would he hate you? Al loves you, Ed, I promise.” And he always would. The two brothers had shown, time and time again, just how far they would go for each other.
“Even if he doesn’t hate me, he’s probably sick of taking care of me and my stupid automail…” Edward’s silent tears began to pour again as he spoke. “I’m supposed to be the big brother, but I’m too broken to take care of myself, let alone Al…”
Raking your fingers through his hair, you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “There’s nothing broken that we can’t fix. Time and love will see you through. I’ll be here and see you through the other side. And I know Al will be too, I promise.”
Letting out a soft sob, Edward hugged you, whispering ‘thank you’ over and over again under his breath. As you hugged back, rocking him slightly, you smiled.
Like what I do? Buy me a coffee?
