THIRTY-SIX YEARS OLD; CIS MAN ; ENGLISH & CREATIVE WRITING PROFESSOR AT UNCW;
has lived in MIDTOWN since april 2022
"The sky set to burst, the gold and the rust, the colour erupts, you fillin' my cup. The sun comin' up like I lived my whole life before the first light;"
name's pronounced zee-ahn; last sibling to join the Hearst empire although, he would rather eat his own foot to ever be involved in the family business; born and raised basking in the old money ways, zian didn't really have that much attention from either parent growing up. when his mother remarried, his step-father was actually the one to give him love and attention. the pressure of being a hearst and the treatment from his step-siblings caused zian to start a long-term relationship with drugs, especially cocaine and crushed vicodin pills. he spent a lot of his summers in wilmington when younger, because his step-dad had a summer home by the beach. yale alumni zian took a job as an english & creative writing professor in uncw two years ago. although he’s always considered himself a functional addict, a bad break-up had him spiraling down and eventually having an overdose a few months ago, which was really a wake-up call to him, so he’s been trying to get himself cleaned. he’s a romantic soul who will speak poetically when in love and in awe. henley shirts and jeans are his usual attire alongside his camera; often has a book in his hands, too, and will definitely stop you to pet your dog.
information —
triggers for — mentions of drugs & drug usage
Zian was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Not only was their father rich, but their mother also came from old Connecticut money, which meant that anything the young boy wanted, they could have it. However, while the Ramnauth residence had tons of money to spare, it also lacked love and affection. Their father traveled a lot and their mother was often too enthralled in high society parties to pay attention to her own child, and so, Zian was raised by nannies, by piano tutors, violin professors and by the help around the house. As a child, he craved for the attention only parents could give, and only parents could also deny, and so, Zian would often find refuge in old sculptures in museums, in beautiful paintings and in books, often capturing the world through pictures which would allow the young Ramnauth to tell a story only they could know.
When he was fifteen, Zian’s mother divorced his father, which, did nothing much to his life as he barely saw the man to begin with. However, it apparently caused his mother Nandini to seek for the young teenager’s attention, thus making him often confuse her neediness for affection. And just like that, the woman transformed someone who had spent their first fifteen years of their life being neglected, into someone who would do anything and everything for their mother, after all, it was them against the world; or so she said.
By the time Zian had finished high school, his mother had already found a new lover to call her own, a man by the name of Oscar Hearst, who came with three other children and a billion dollar empire to be fought over once he bit the dust. One, Zian couldn't care less about because he already was, as a matter of fact, filthy rich, thanks to his maternal grandparents.
To Zian, that union meant little to nothing. He had already been accepted to study English Literature in Yale earlier that year, so he didn't need the Hearst name to make exceptions for him, he already had picked a career, so he didn't need to battle for the Hearst Co. empire... he already had a father, though a distant one, so he didn't crave for one in Oscar. The only good thing it gave him, was the chance to make him come down to Wilmington during his summer vacations and it allowed him to meet his best friend Julian while there. To Oscar Hearst, however, it meant he’d gotten the son he’d always dreamed of having: nice, polite, responsible and dedicated. It meant he could dote on someone without being shut down, that he could take someone to ball games, spend afternoons chatting over a glass of Brandy, and to take on New York by its horns and steer the fate of his company.
The biggest question about this union, however, remained about his step-siblings. Zian didn’t know whether they were annoyed about sharing their father’s love with the younger man, or, sharing his empire with a whole new family, although, Zian had always made it known that he had not interest in getting in the family business. And yet, he still went on and graduated with a Business minor because his mother had asked him to. Yet, he still started working for Hearst Co. in his early years with an entry job because his step-father asked him to, but God, he hated it.
He started spiralling down and developing a close relationship with illicit drugs in order to escape the hell he kept constantly being dragged to, by the people his mother had brought into his life without any sense of consideration for his boundaries. The more time he spent around his step-siblings family, the more miserable he felt. His spark suddenly being diminished by the companies he would keep, his brightness considered weakness. His love for photography was laughed on, his smart and diplomatic ideas were ignored, so, he stopped trying to please the part of his family who dispised him and started working towards giving himself a taste of happiness.
After spending some time enjoying endless nights hopping from gallery soirees, to parties, and eventually landing in strangers beds in New York City, Zian became attached to the boost of energy certain white powders would give him, despite also knowing that should anything like that reach his step-father’s ears, he would be done for. But, Zian was living for the thrill.
Three years ago, Zian accepted a position at the University of North Carolina, teaching English in the Corporate Communications, Public Relations programs and Creative Writing, too, which, is what actually makes him happy nowadays: the academic life. It’s not as glamorous as being in the line of succession of Hearst Co., but considering how he knows his step-siblings would rather see him dead than in charge of their father’s empire, Zian is more than happy to not be going toe to toe with these people and just living the simple life away from the New York chaos.
Wilmington had always been a place that, ever since getting into the Hearst family, he’d always visited, because Oscar had houses near the beach. And so, one could say that Wilmington was the closest thing he’d ever had for a home, so, it almost felt like coming home again when he decided to take the job at the UNCW.
There were times, maybe more often than strictly necessary, that Harrison's mind would wander mid-shoot and he'd find himself fast on the trail of a moment of inspiration when an idea, a thought, a single thread of an idea demanded his attention and he had to follow it to its core before it faded into the distance with the rest of his forgotten muse. And unfortunately, there were times where that apparent distraction was just that. Distraction. And that afternoon? It was the latter, no doubt about it. He'd come out here for some fresh air to clear his head ... only to get lost in it anyway.
Harry had zoned out staring at the very scene he'd had every intention of immortalising in frame. He both had no idea how long he'd been standing there – later he might conclude it'd been 'two minutes tops', or that hunger was the cause, when every part of him knew deep down it had been spiralling over his sister – nor how far he'd drifted, mentally and physically, with his camera in hand. Until that voice broke through the daze, and the words registered, and Harry's head snapped up, blinking in surprise, grinning with the kind of unabashed guilt that suggested he'd been caught in the act, but absolutely would be doing it again in the future.
"You know? You're on to something," he murmured. And then, recovered from the jolt of circling back to reality, he pivoted, just enough to follow the direction, to readjust and peer through the viewfinder, before snapping the shot. He gave it a once over on the screen, and after a quick nod, satisfied, he turned the camera to share the success with this helpful arrival, "what'd you think? I think you kinda saved this one."
Some kind of pride crashed over him as he was shown the result of the picture he'd helped producing. He didn't need the drugs to see the beauty in things, he didn't need the chemicals coursing through his veins to find talent within himself. Maybe some other type of chemicals, but that would probably mean that he needed to see a doctor for it, and he needed to get his addiction in check before anything and everything else.
"I think you did a great job, man." He smiled, pulling away from the younger man's camera and straightening himself up. "I mostly pointed you to my favorite sunset spot, c'mon." Zian chuckled, holding onto the sling of his messenger's bag like his life depended on it. Like he was holding onto a sleeve of sanity he had left. "Is this a hobby or do you do it professionally?" / @harrisonhayes
Samira felt her cheeks slightly flush at the realization that she’d just assumed and that hadn’t been the case at all. “No don’t apologize, I should’ve clarified with you,” she admitted with a smile before shaking her head, “he hasn’t done anything though. He was a bit too surprised and as far as I know he hasn’t approached Maya on her own at all either,” she clarified with a small smile. “Thanks,” she rolled her eyes at his words, feeling like they were meant to salvage her pride which wasn’t doing all that great lately anyways. She knew he was attempting to be comforting and for the most part it had been, but it didn’t alleviate any of her feelings and current stressful thoughts right now.
“No don’t apologize really, you have nothing to say sorry for,” Samira didn’t really blame anyone in this situation. Was that strange? Should she be blaming someone? If anything—she really just wanted it all to fade away and live her life happily with her daughter. At Zian’s question about Maya knowing, her eyes darted up towards her daughter once more before she shook her head. “No, thankfully she has no idea. I don’t even know if Shane’s going to reach out, so telling her now would just complicate things.” Once she understood where Shane was, she could make that decision and see how things went. For now though, Maya was allowed to remain blissfully unaware just like Samira wanted.
It was nice to hear someone tell her that if she chose to leave for the weekend, it wouldn’t be seen as a moment of weakness. Even if ultimately she’d do what she felt right doing, hearing his opinion was certainly good right now since it soothed over some of those worries. “That’s true—although, I have to admit…I thought about calling the company and telling them to send me anywhere else,” she admitted with a chuckle before shaking her head. She was not a quitter and none of her reasons for quitting were going to push her to that limit. “I will absolutely let you know if I need something,” she said with a small smile aimed his way at the way he gave her that soft kiss to her head. It was nice to know that while her time in Wilmington had been short so far, she’d made some good friends that were actually there for her when she needed them. She leaned into his touch and rested her head on his shoulder for a moment before taking a deep breath. It felt nice to lean on someone and not have it become complicated because truthfully Samira had enough of that in her life right now. When Zian spoke again, she glanced up and gave him a smile. “Yeah? Maybe I’ll surprise you with it one day. But just before I plan anything, what’s your schedule look like before summer break? Only because I don't want to wait until July.”
Upon hearing her talking about asking her company to place her somewhere else, Zian bobbed his head in agreement. Maybe he should do the same. Maybe packing and moving to another city that was in need of an English professor would do him some good... Maybe Wilmington in all of its glory was starting to wear him out as it brought a lot of ghosts and demons forward and it was getting hard for Zian to keep his head above water. "If you feel like it'll be the best for you, Sam, go ahead and do it. Sometimes we have to be a little selfish in order to survive." Easier said than done, that much he knew, but if changes weren't made, then changes wouldn't be seen. "I'd definitely miss you and Maya though, so hopefully, should you ever decide to leave, you won't forget about your dear friend here." He nodded, looking down at the petite woman in his embrace.
Zian adjusted himself on the bench so it remained comfortable for Samira to be there while he sipped on his coffee, his dark hues finding Maya in the distance as she played with her little friends. Funny how some things you'd only miss once you realized they weren't coming back. "Before summer break? I'm free pretty much from Friday to Monday, so, if you'd like to kidnap me, please... I'm all yours. I'll even keep an eye on Maya so that you can do a little exploring." He chuckled as he gently nudged her, meaning a different type of exploring, but at the same time, leaving it unsaid. / @samiraxiyer
I wanted to dress a blade up in red with both our of necks
But I wasn't able, and I wasn't stable
I guess
But nevertheless I'm fucking depressed
I hide it with sex, and drink till it's fatal
It's so fucking painful
It's a mess
So give me something beautiful
So give me something else
I need another miracle
I really need some help, I need a miracle
Sometimes his friend was buzzing with energy and conversation, as though he couldn't get his thoughts and words out quickly enough. Other times Zian could seem completely zoned out and disconnected from reality, coming across as bored or uninterested. At this moment, sitting on the sofa across the coffee table from his friend, Jake could see that Zian wasn't completely with him and present in the moment. Over the years and through his profession, former and current, he'd become a master at reading people and seeing what was between the lines. These details pointed out something was wrong and had been for some time, Jake was just worried about broaching the subject and being completely wrong.
Perhaps Zian was simply stressed and overwhelmed about many things and didn't handle it in the same ways he did. That wouldn't be fair to judge against. Still, he didn't ask because his friend should feel comfortable and safe enough to communicate with him. Their friendship spanned way back many years and they'd leant on each other through many of life's hardships.
Were they outgrowing each other and their friendship?
Now Jake was guilty of sitting there in his head and overthinking. So he looked up from the notes app he had open on his phone but hadn't been paying attention to at all when Zian finally started some conversation. "I'm always writing something," he answered, then elaborated, "seems journalism always pulls me back in somehow, but I've finished the first draft of my next novel. I just haven't had the focus to work on editing it." He sipped his coffee and was kind of glad it had gone a little cold. On hot days Jake really wasn't one that could enjoy a hot drink. "What's going on with you, though? You alright, man?"
Running his hands over his face, Zian drew in a breath. Was he alright? All things considered, he was. He could be without the headache, the pain in his knuckles and the crippling guilt, but at least he was alive and kicking, wasn't he? He should be grateful, shouldn't he? "I am, I am." Zian pressed his eyes shut for a moment, before widening his lids and leaning back onto Jake's couch. "You know how it is. Too many nights awake, too much to do, too little time." Best friends as best friends went, Zian had yet to let Jake know what had happened those months ago and why he stopped responding to text for about a month after almost dying. "I happen to know someone who's excellent at English and, who could be your beta editor, you know? He also happens to be looking for more things to fill his mind with, so... what do you think?" / @jakerandall
Ariya raised an eyebrow, a flicker of irritation crossing her face at the man's question. Of course, she knew the park wasn't the best place for peace and quiet, but it was usually pretty dead around this time. She'd thought she could find a nice, secluded spot to work without too many distractions. Clearly, I was wrong about that. "Well, normally this park is pretty dead around this time of day," she remarked, forcing a light tone despite the annoyance she felt. "I thought I could find a nice, secluded spot to work without too many distractions. Clearly, I was mistaken."
He was just trying to be helpful, she reminded herself, but she wasn't trying to leave the park. If anything, she would rather go home and write. "Thanks, but I've got my own ride," she said, waving vaguely towards the parking lot. She paused, realizing her words might sound ungrateful. A sigh left her as she tried to rein in her frustration. "But I do appreciate the suggestion," she added, her tone softening slightly. It's not his fault my plans got derailed. "The library would probably be a better environment for focusing on my research. It's just… I had my heart set on working outdoors today, you know?"
Her gaze drifted back to the laptop screen, the blinking cursor taunting her with the unfinished paragraph—The stress of this deadline getting to her. Looking back at him, she managed a tight smile. "The paper is on the challenges of diagnosing rare diseases," she explained, a hint of pride creeping into her voice despite her irritation. Maybe he'd understand how important this was. "It's for my medical research class. I'm a diagnostician at Mercy General. Or at least, I'm trying to be." A short, self-deprecating laugh escaped her. “Some days, it feels like I'm just a kid playing dress-up in a white coat, pretending to have all the answers.”
When the heart wanted something, it was hard to convince one's mind of anything else. He would know that from a personal experience. "It's all good." Zian nodded, noticing how nervous she seemed to be? Or maybe he was picking up on something that wasn't true, but he was assuming it was. Her body language, her tone, the way she chuckled nervously before saying something. "Isn't that what we all do? We play pretend until we actually manage to do something or be someone?" With that, Zian leaned back against the back of the bench and stretched his legs in front of him. He'd been pretending to be okay, to have a healthy (or maybe a less destructive) relationship with his addiction, and look at where it got him. "Sometimes, being a kid playing dress up is all you need to be, you know? You won't stop trying to be a diagnostician just because you're having a bad day or because it's too loud to write your paper." He then looked at her. "You'll be fine. I get anxious when my plans fall short, too." / @ariyacl
"Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence in yourself." Besides everyone was entitled to their own opinion and if he was comparing himself to the other guys that she described, then Kimberly would agree with Zian on that. Chuckling at the pick me comment, she immediately shook her head and said, "Far from it. I've had my fair share of pick me guys and they come off more on the obnoxious and entitled end." So far, he was not showcasing any of those traits and she was grateful that he wasn't making her uncomfortable on top of that.
"Mhm...Ah, true. That would have been honestly awkward and fashion nightmare...Maybe even a result to injury depending if the drink was hot..." However, the heiress couldn't help but chuckle to herself as she expressed an outward thought, "On the bright side, at least we live close by?" They could have somewhat escaped such embarrassment and changed at that point. "I'd probably avoid this place like the plague for a couple of weeks just to regain my bearings."
In the middle of Zian's response, Kimberly heard her name get called out a she briefly excused herself to pick up both pastries and her iced coffee. Once she returned by his side, she heard out his proposal and nodded to accept the offer, "Likewise Zian. Sure, I'd love to and only if you want to of course...I really hope I'm not intruding. I'm exhausted and hungry, so you caught me at a good time as I did want to sit and enjoy this."
Zian smiled. At least he wasn't like the other guys, right? Not that he had ever aimed to be, especially when most men his age were not exactly the nicest — to both women and people in general. His family members would be the first in line to be horrible like that. "No, I'd leave that to my step-brothers. They're the ones you're looking for." Still, he found it in himself to joke about that poor excuse of siblings. Humor had never been his forte, choosing a poetic reading of things as his usual reaction to things, but, every one in a full moon, he'd find some humor within himself like that.
"And no, not at all Kimberly. I don't mind the company." In fact, any form of pleasant company would help him keep his mind off of things. Stressful things, tempting things, unhealthy things. With Pride drawing near, his so-called friend kept blowing up his phone with invites of things for them to do and places to go... and Zian knew that if he said yes, he would probably be saying yes to a whole of other things. He motioned for his companion to join him at an empty table and sat down across from her. "So, how long have you been living nearby? Can't say I'm that good with faces, but I don't think a face like yours would be easy to forget." / @kmadrigalsoto
I mean, it's glitter. Good luck getting rid of it, friend. It'll probably be there by the time your daughters get married. But c'mon, enjoy! You can't wear a frown during Pride. Unless you're straight... then you're not allowed to be straight.
Bad everything and you wanna stick around? Insane, but I respect it. Uh, victim to the ... rescue— wait, who? Do I know them? Dude, don't leave me hanging.
Are you trying to get me to go some place else? Because I'm game! Come on, it's Pride, drinks are half the price and I'm not feeling like shit for the first time in a long time! Uh... as for them... it's that girl over there with the rainbow crop top? Are you going to tell me she's your sister or something?
No! Let's get drinks first! I'm trying to hide from someone and you're my victim of the night. You know how it is, right? Bad date, bad vibes... just bad everything.
he often surrounded himself with people that were similar when it came to beliefs and it was clear that he and zian believed that the other was out of line in the way that the other was talking to be waitress. "you've got that right," he paused, watching as zian spoke once more and he was more than ready to stand up with his friend. there was no way he was going to let him face the patron alone, even if he knew that zian could handle the situation on his own. "yeah, i agree. i think it's best if you leave anyways, man. it's clear you're not wanted here by the staff."
The guy finally got the picture and left, saying he'd never been so insulted in his entire life, which, of course Zian could assume he would say that. The professor then motioned to the untouched plate on the table, then to his and Benji's own table. "You can put this on our tab. I'll pay for it." After all, it was none of the server's fault to have gotten someone so damn rude like that. They shouldn't be punished for it. He then turned to Benji again. "Anyway, you were saying something about your job? Sorry, that fucker completely sidetracked us." / @benjiaquino
The honesty was refreshing, and she found it rather sweet that Zian didn't make himself out to be something that he wasn't just so that he could hopefully be impressive. Şeyda always appreciated those that were comfortable and confident enough in their own skin. At least to the point of being able to say, 'this is who and how I am'. "You know, not all prizes are won solely on aim," she pointed out as she delivered a soft but dimpled smirk. "That's fine, though. It's not about winning anything, it's just about having a good time." This was rather far out of her wheelhouse. The carnival. Şeyda enjoyed that a new experience was offered to her. "I could win you some prizes. I've never really played these before but I think I still can. Or, I'll try."
When his touch slid down her arm and his larger palm connected with her own, a smile touched her lips, especially when Zian's fingers threaded together with her own. She wondered momentarily if he was nervous as there was a warmth coming from his touch. "Yes, it's okay." And she squeezed his fingers gently for confirmation. "How about we grab a drink and head over there," they were near a concessions stand that was selling lemonades and Şeyda pointed to a few tents that looked like they had a variety of games. "I think I would be pretty good at the dance one. Want to try?"
He should keep that in mind: that they were there to have a good time. And as he slid his hand down hers and asked for confirmation on whether this was okay or not, Zian felt his anxiety calming down a little... though not completely. How could it? When his body still ached and his mind was still racing? "Lemonades sound great to me, but I don't think I'll be good at dancing." At least, not at this state he found himself in, at least. "How about you dance and I can record it for you?" Zian offered instead, also offering his hand so she would like to give him her phone. "Lemonades are on me, though." / @seydaseven
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?, 25. role model, 39. favourite sport(s)
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?
I guess that depends on how I am feeling in general. Most of the time, I'm good at hiding whatever I'm feeling... I think I got even better in the last few months all things considered, so yes, I'd say I am very good at hiding my feelings, however, I am even better at letting them be known I want the person to know about them.
25. role model
Hmm... probably Lionel Messi? The guy's one of the good ones and a great player, too? To be honest, I have never really thought about who's my role model?
39. favourite sport(s)
Probably soccer, although Oscar—my father keeps trying to get me to root for the Panthers... i just don't think American football is all that fun, though.
1. selfie
2. what would you name your future kids?
3. do you miss anyone?
4. what are you looking forward to?
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?
6. is it hard for you to get over someone?
7. what was your life like last year?
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?
9. who did you last see in person?
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?
11. are you listening to music right now?
12. what is something you want right now?
13. how do you feel right now?
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?
15. personality description
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?
17. opinion on insecurities.
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?
19. have you ever been to New York?
20. what is your favourite song at the moment?
21. age and birthday?
22. description of crush.
23. fear(s)
24. height
25. role model
26. idol(s)
27. things i hate
28. i’ll love you if…
29. favourite film(s)
30. favourite tv show(s)
31. 3 random facts
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?
33. something you want to learn
34. most embarrassing moment
35. favourite subject
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?
37. favourite actor/actress
38. favourite comedian(s)
39. favourite sport(s)
40. favourite memory
41. relationship status
42. favourite book(s)
43. favourite song ever
44. age you get mistaken for
45. how you found out about your idol
46. what my last text message says
47. turn ons
48. turn offs
49. where i want to be right now
50. favourite picture of your idol
51. starsign
52. something i’m talented at
53. 5 things that make me happy
54. something thats worrying me at the moment
55. tumblr friends
56. favourite food(s)
57. favourite animal(s)
58. description of my best friend
59. why i joined tumblr
60. ask me anything you want
