[ziekseks]

remind yourself that you don't have to do what everyone else is doing.

[ziekseks]

just a few cute snaps fr hk!~ ✨💞

[ziekseks]

HK disneyland, ocean park & macau 🇭🇰🇲🇴

[ziekseks]

this is so funny. i’ve been sick since last week (viral infection) while we were in manila. my tummy got so bad that i vomited a lot— until now. i regretted having instant coffee for 2 weeks while i was in manila. dapat pala talagang naniwala ako kila papa na mag-sb nalang ako para atleast safe yung coffee. & i haven’t had any caffeine since last saturday (june 13) dahil natatakot talaga kong madala bigla sa hospital.

& earlier (june 20), i ordered coffee fr mcdo kasi sobrang miss na miss ko nang magkape. tehhh, nagkakaron na ko ng random headaches bcs of caffeine withdrawal & anlala na din ng antok ko. tapos huyyy biglang um-okay yung tiyan ko after??? hahahaha. sabi ko magte-take na lang talaga ko ng meds kapag sumakit na nang malala, basta makapag-kape lang ako lol. antok na antok na ko for days. tho may scheduled checkup naman ako for this (really grateful for my hmo), hindi pa lang talaga kaya ng sched ngayon dahil sa planned trips.

i’m just having cherries, strawberries & fruits lately. these cherries & strawberries were fr our neighbors who just got back fr the US. ang yayaman ng mga kapitbahay namin dito sa subd na parang magkakamag-anak na kami sa bigayan ng kung anu-ano. lewl

alsooo, ang cuuuteee ng nails ko ngayon. was about to have white sa hands ko, pero nung nakita kong angganda nung color sa pedi ko, sabi ko same na lang din sa hands ko. this is my first time having dark colors sa hands. mula nung nag-start akong magpa-nail extensions & gel polish, i’ve always had light colors sa hands kasi feeling ko hindi ko kayang i-maintain nang pangmatagalan yung dark colors, unlike light colors na pang-everyday talaga. pero this one? ang gandaaaa!!! wanna try dark pink next time!~

[ziekseks]

Balik na sya sa dati nyang username! HAHAHAHA I hope everything's well, Z! Ingat lagi!

hahahaahahha mas bagay daw talaga tong username. lol thankyouuu~ also, saw ur grad post from law school. congrats!! u deserve it🫶🏻

[ziekseks]

‘26 june

this is such a bittersweet month for me. i'm sooo sad that june & july have become traumatic months bcs of what happened last year. i thought i had fully recovered from it, but when june started getting closer last week, i felt so anxious. it was like my body was remembering everything & the feelings i had last year started coming back again. “what if something bad happens again?”

alsooo, i wanna go back to baguio so bad, but the feelings i went through after my trip last year were so intense that a part of me keeps thinking that if i go back, something bad might happen again. not to mention the anxiety i'm feeling rn bcs we have an out-of-the-country trip this month. last june, we traveled somewhere too & everything that happened afterward changed so much for me.

i just hope this will be a good june for me, plsss. i don't wanna feel the pain i went through last year again. it broke me so much that i'm starting to hate this month. i just wanna enjoy june the way i used to. •ᴖ•

[ziekseks]

pain is inevitable but suffering is an option

was backreading our old convo with a friend & i saw a message where i was ranting about my ex (kami pa that time). ngayon ko lang na-realize na there were moments pala na he would ignore me whenever we were with his friends?? hahahaha dafuqq?? paano ko pinalampas na umabot ng almost 8yrs? lol i honestly don’t even remember it.

sa dami ng cycle fights na naging routine nalang sa rs namin, ang naalala ko nalang is yung time before ko siya i-end. first time kong umiyak sa bffs ko just bcs of him. & mind uuu, my friends know me i wouldn’t cry over a guy. lol atleast not bcs of our rs. pero i know our relationship got so toxic back then that it still left me with trauma hanggang ngayon. kaya din ang tagal kong naging single e. hahahaha

hayyy, kaya i was soooo happy when i finally had the courage to end it. grabeee i didn’t even realize how much i was tolerating back then. kapag naka-move on ka na talaga, dun mo lang makikita how bad it was & how much u tolerated for years. sobrang ick. totoo talaga na when something is toxic & not meant for u, it will keep hurting & disappointing u in cycles until u choose to leave.

pain is part of life. but repeatedly choosing what breaks u is suffering. aaand i’m glad i finally left. yeah, pain is inevitable, but suffering is an option.

[ziekseks]

i have this strange thing with old people. i just feel like every time i’m around them, lowkey jina-judge ako. so i tend to feel uncomfy when older people are around. maybe it’s bcs of how i grew up? sa mga tita ko na laging pinupuna yung suot ko, the way i move & even how i talk. nadala ko siya until now. kaya there are times na sinasabihan din ako ng boyf ko kasi even him napapansin niya na i’m always thinking about what other people might say. kaya siguro may pagka-people pleaser din ako bcs i grew up in that kind of environment, yung feeling na dapat walang mapuna sakin.

tho i’m learning to not mind what the people might say (i learned it the hard way lol). it was hard not to think of it esp when they’re ur family, no? sobrang toxic ng ganitong feeling na iisipin mo pa yung “bcs they’re family” like they don’t realize what kind of trauma they caused na hanggang ngayon, dinadala ko.

kaya din siguro naging ganito ako na walang pake sa side ng dad ko. even sa fb, hindi ko sila in-accept & naka-block sila. tapos ang cringe kapag nagme-message sila sa gc ng “i miss u my dear—” yikes. wala akong naaalalang masayang memories with y’all. stop it, angcringe nyo tbh.

[ziekseks]

i always lurv surplus hauls so muuuch. idk pero sobrang satisfying lang when u find cute & useful stuff for such a cheap price. i got a mug & a bowl kasi super cuteee, as someone na hindi na gumagamit ng plato for food. i also got a vase & a cute cup & made it my pen holder kasi ang ganda niya, plus even the prettiest salt container!! my mum’s so happy too annnnd all for just 100 per kg!!

it also reminded me of before sa romblon, when there was a japan surplus store there & i used to go there weekly kasi lagi talaga ’kong may nabibili lol. one of my favorite finds from there were the sling bag & tote bag i bought!!~ super timely that time kasi i was looking for a similar tote bag like kay ry & i unexpectedly found one there. iba talaga pieces from japan & korea, it always reminds me of the kdramas & japanese films i watch.~

[ziekseks]

beautifully naked.🪾🦩

[ziekseks]

what products po do u use, missmæm 👉🏻👈🏻 tyia!

helloooo! for whaaat? if collagen, nagswitch ako from youtheory to pureform. kapag kasi youtheory, 6–8 tabs daily para maachieve mo 10k mg daily lol. the diff is, aside sa powder yung pureform, wala siyang vit c, so u need to take vit c din for support unlike sa yt. pero sa yt kasi, nagttake pa din ako ng vit c, sooo.

for gluta— i take eslite. tho my goal for this is sa kidney talaga. as someone na mahilig sa salty foods & caffeine, need ko din talaga ng support for my kidneys & nakakahelp siya somehow. but if ur goal is whitening, idk if okay siya kasi maputi naman na ako before ko siya i-take & i only started taking it last year :)

for vit c— i take fern-c. acid-friendly siya. sa poten-cee, sumasakit tiyan ko, so need ko ng hindi harsh sa tiyan lol.

alsooo, pls pls drink LOTS of water!! mas mabilis mo makikita effect kapag lagi kang nagwwater.💕

[ziekseks]

girls, never let a guy be the reason u start hating other women!!

i know it happens a lot, but pls— choose someone who makes u love yourself more, not someone who makes u feel insecure. ang pangit sa feeling na u start creating hate towards other women just bcs he makes u feel that way. the right guy will make u feel safe 24/7— secure, reassured & never in competition with anyone else. he won’t make u question ur worth or compare yourself. instead, he’ll give u peace, not confusion.

[ziekseks]

when we were kids, kapag nakatulog tayo ng hapon or nang hindi sadya tapos nagising tayo ng gabi na, nakakainis na nakakaiyak kasi bakit hindi ka nagising or bakit hindi ka ginising. kasi we knew back then na once we woke up, kakain lang tayo ng dinner & diretso sleep na ulit.

we really hated sleep at that time. hindi pwedeng sumobra yung tulog kasi wala ka nang time maglaro with ur friends. it felt llike the day wasn’t complete kapag hindi ka nakapaglaro sa hapon. ngayon, nakakainis kapag bigla kang gigisingin. kasi kapag ginising ka, alam mong mahirap na ulit makatulog.

before, we hated sleeping bcs it felt like a waste of time. now, we’re the ones chasing sleep that still never feels enough. we wanted to stay awake to make the most of the day. ngayon, we just want to sleep to get a little break from everything. it’s kind of bittersweet how the thing we used to hate is now what we crave the most.

[ziekseks]

it really hits you when u get older, no? na isa sa mga cravings mo is a home that feels warm— peaceful mornings, slow afternoons, good food, a healthy life & work that doesn’t drain ur soul. life’s getting hard, yes. but i pray that everyone finds their own kind of peace.~

[ziekseks]

6 May ‘26

i’m still overthinking things. i still dk how to handle it smtimes. it’s funny how my almost 8-year relationship shaped me this way. but now it’s different, bcs this time, the overthinking isn’t coming fr something that’s actually happening. it’s just my mind holding onto old fears.

i’m still in the process of unlearning the parts of me that were shaped by the past— the walls, the guardedness, the instinct to protect myself even when there’s no reason to. healing those parts takes time, ig?

& i’m so soo thankful to him, for not giving me reasons to overthink & for showing me the kind of peace a relationship can actually have.

[ziekseks]

— a moment that quietly stayed.💫

[ziekseks]

naalala ko yung house ng pinsan ko, they had this neighbor na may duyan, & i lurrrrvd it. probably kasi of that videoke video ng “honey, my love, so sweet” lol. everytime i went there, the kids in that house would always play with us. lagi kami naglalaro sa duyan & every time i’d ride it, feel na feel ko na para bang ako yung girl sa kanta hahahahha

so when my dad went to romblon, i told him i wanted a duyan. since my tito has a furniture shop & my dad knows how to make stuff, he actually made one for me & hung it inside our house.

until now, i still want this duyan. when i get my own house, i’ll probably have one hanging outside~