first off, my original post wasn’t talking about bitty coming out it was talking about how differently coach and suzanne are going to react to learning that bitty had kept something from them.
secondly, bitty had a /panic attack/ when he tried coming out to his mother recently. he might not feel unsafe, but he is 10000% not comfortable with the concept of coming out, and that’s okay. i could have members of my family tell me to my FACE that they aren’t homophobic and i still wouldn’t want to come out to them because i know it would change our relationship. but no go ahead and tell me, a bi person, more about how coming out is complex.
bitty is from a small town in southern georgia. saying the south is more likely to be homophobic and racist is not “painting it with a broad brush” or whatever the shit its just reality? im not saying the /entire/ south is homophobic. also i literally am not throwing suzanne under the bus at all and i literally said that i didn’t think she was homophobic? i love suzanne. she’s a fantastic mom if a little overbearing. coach might be distant but nowhere ever did i say that his family wasn’t supportive of him, or wouldn’t be supportive of him coming out. that’s not the point
“he never gave her a chance” ... again, he almost came out to her and then panicked before he could. there’s a reason, logical or not, behind why he didn’t want to come out to suzanne. also, someone doesn’t deserve your coming out. you don’t owe it to another person to come out to them. suzanne from what we see has been nothing but supportive of her son but that doesn’t = bitty being forced/expected to tell her that he’s gay.
the summer thing is a stupid argument i’m sorry but bitty is a senior in college he doesn’t owe his parents staying at home? i only went home for the summer one time when i was at school. it’s fine if suzanne is hurt by that but bitty isn’t being a dick by not going home during the summer. hes 20/21 years old, he’s an adult who can make his own decisions. her seeing him hug the parents of his boyfriend who were literally at the game because their son is on the team shouldn’t be that big of a deal, and it probably isn’t to her.
i’m not saying suzanne’s feelings are invalid. but when you’re an lgbtq+ person, you simply don’t know how the people around you are going to react if you come out, even if they aren’t homophobic. it’s ok for suzanne to feel upset that bitty didn’t come out to her, but that doesn’t automatically mean that bitty needs to apologize for it or feel bad that he didnt. you wanted to use love simon as an example, ok, lets. “coming out was supposed to be my thing” => suzanne is not entitled to have a personal moment when bitty came out to her. bitty came out his way and he doesn’t need to apologize for that?
im not saying it’s all suzanne’s fault. im not saying it’s all bitty’s fault. reducing it to a “its his fault or her fault!” storyline is incredibly reductive and doesn’t do justice to the storyline. its a complicated situation that they are going to need to work through because there are individual issues on both sides that need to be worked out
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