What Are Birds? We Just Don't Know. @zinny-beans - Tumblr Blog

I was about to make a post about like… how my family has this lemon tree out front, and one of the funniest things about having a lemon tree is occasionally I’ll be out in front doing whatever and I’ll see someone walking past and quickly grab a lemon off the tree and stuff it in their pockets as quick as they can like they’re shoplifting.

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of… them…

pretentioussongtitle

I’ll admit it, OP. As soon as you mentioned your family had a lemon tree in their yard I wanted to ask you how they were dealing with the whore infestation.

utah-mountain-drifter-deactivat

memewhore

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

This man took so much longer to crack than I would have what a PROFESSIONAL

peripetyy

Plotting, scheming, etc.

shencomix

whitepeopletwitter

injuries-in-dust

Fun Fact, thats, more or less, something that wealthy people in China and Japan did, they were called “musical floorboards.” Designed to squeak when stood upon. A person could make noise all the way down a corridor.

The residents and servants knew which floorboards made a sound and avoided them. But a burglar, or assassin didn’t. If you heard the creaking of floorboards, you knew danger was coming.

Even better, despite what movies may show, a lot of the old west was founded by Chinese immigrants, so there could have been carpenters around who knew how to make the musical floorboards!

apocalypticvalraven

They were also called Nightingale Floors, and looking up to make sure I had the right term, I found they were super clever! They were more than just ill-fit boards or whatever makes floors creak normally, they actually used little metal bars under the boards placed into small holes in the boards to cause the creak.

swan2swan

The best things on the internet are when someone makes a joke and then Miss Frizzle rolls up for an educational adventure.

mlnmo

"there should be a tumblr sexywoman" there are???? does glados, the queen from deltarune and lady dimitrescu mean nothing to you???

mlnmo

the criteria is different from the tumblr sexyman, but theres definitely tumblr sexywomen as a category in itself

mlnmo

tumblr sexyman: needs to be pathetic

tumblr sexywoman: needs to be murderous and/or unhinged

thefloatingstone

thirdpunch

justspooklordthings-deactivated

Guys, we've talked about this.

You need to give your domesticated wading ghosts larger death pools. I understand if you can't find a real Well, but you need an enclosure at least 5 times the size of the spirit itself.

sistertaxon

good fucking lord we need to demystify minerals. crystals do not have healing or magical powers you guys are just getting scammed

wolfennracha-deactivated2024062

and we are what exactly? everything we interact with is a jigsaw puzzle of atoms. everything that effects or heals us in made of atoms and vibrations. negative ions from moving water affect our mood so why wouldn't crystals?

sistertaxon

you are getting scammed

capriciouslyvexed

I own a rock shop. A lady came in about three years ago and asked me which crystals are best for healing, I gently explained that they didn't have powers or healing properties. She started crying. She had late-stage cancer and no medical treatments were working. A crystal-healer had told her the only thing that would save her were crystals, then proceeded to convince her to spend $2000 on what realistically was only maybe $50 worth of Arkansas Quartz. She had two months to live, and was being strung along by scammers who gave her false hope in exchange for her life savings. I had indirectly just told this woman she was going to die, and it was hitting her all at once. Unfortunately, stuff like this is a regular occurrence. Maybe that’s my worst story, but it’s something I encounter on a weekly basis at least. Rocks, Minerals, and crystals are cool as hell but they don’t have powers. They aren’t mystical or special. I’m sorry for going off on a rant about this but it’s frustrating and it can ruin people’s lives.

siglati

I remember visiting a rock shop a while ago and seeing someone buy a ton of rose quartz because he thought it could cure epilepsy... it's hard visiting rocks shops sometimes because I always see people buy rocks for reasons like this too. I wish warnings and disclaimers were more obvious.

yasfera2-deactivated20220905

mortimermcmirestinks

every fucking time I see this I miss the "7 month old" part, then when I see the image I fucking lose it. god fucking dammit

bubblegum-sullivan-13

I also like it when they're like hey what's up or something personal/natural instead of the welcome to wherever how can I serve you bit.

lastoneout

I also like it when they are sitting down or listening to music they clearly enjoy

fieldbears

There is something so nourishing about walking into a place of business and immediately thinking "huh, I wouldn't have guessed this place would be playing this kind of music" only to see an employee absolutely head-banging along because today is their day to pick the CD and they are living

somethingmissingthiswaycomes

Despite what capitalists might think, I do not want to roleplay being royalty in the presence of slaves when I seek professional assistance in obtaining my basic human needs.

anonymouscomrade

contrary to what the suits believe, not only do i not think i'm the main character of the grocery store but i'm also not a sadist who needs to visually confirm another human being is suffering when i make a purchase

wizardnuke

LESS movies about the lgbtq experience MORE movies about people who just happen to be lgbtq. is it really that hard to understand

wizardnuke

I don't wanna see another story abt a teenage boy coming out to his parents and closed mouth kissing his boyfriend at prom where's my spy thriller action heist movie w a cast made entirely of dykes and femme gay men you know what I'm fucking talkinf about. I'm tired of The Queer Struggle I struggle every stupid day I know what that's all about and honestly none of the coming out stories are cathartic or whatever to me. I don't care. I wanna see a nonbinary person fight a dragon

astraldemise

i know hes like. dying. but his miserable pose and the placement of the stone slabs reminds me of that sad frog image where the frog has fallen over and dropped his food tray

astraldemise

he looks like a more desolate version of this to me

childweanedonpoison

The most hilarious part of italians’ reaction to coronavirus/covid19 has been them stockpiling EVERY SINGLE type of pasta except the PENNE LISCE

which Italians couldn’t bring themselves to buy or eat even during a mass psychosis

maarigolds

The moment italians start buying penne lisce will be the moment we know our society has truly collapsed

jeannettegray

Listen, if I'm gonna die, my last meal is NOT gonna be fucking penne lisce.

tchaikovskaya

x

dwlostcompanion

Someone explain please! I want to knowwww

aphony-cree

Penne lische is smooth and doesn’t hold sauce the way penne rigate does

The grooves make more sauce adhere to it

specsthespectraldragon

wait that picture up there then ACTUALLY is of a smooth tube and not just. a bad picture? smooth penne exists? that's horrifying the ridges are the best part it's like eating a tiny accordion

actualaster

And that is why it is an abomination.

Disgusting. Vile. I would die before eating that filth.

goron-king-darunia

I have eaten penne lisce. Objectively the worst pasta. If you sneeze too hard in its general direction, any sauce on it will fly off. You can literally cook it in tomato sauce and it will still taste of nothing. Even if you stuff cheese inside it by hand, meticulously, individually, it will fall out. No friction on these fuckers. Bad pasta.