Exquisite frustration

Whatever is on my mind

[zinoperantz-blog]

I've decided to kill myself. I guess I just have to work up the nerve.

[zinoperantz-blog]

I am abused

[zinoperantz-blog]

I can't seem to shake this anger

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Bitches

Don't assume the person you fuck with will play by your rules. If you're a cheating bitch and you're still doing it then don't expect a happy ending or expect him to keep your secrets.

[zinoperantz-blog]

The transitioning.

Hey everyone, I started a fundraising campaign for Alex's Transitioning. Please tap to donate- http://mk2.gofund.me/alexs-transitioning?rcid=e87dc8eaeacc478b941356fe6d664746

[zinoperantz-blog]

Won't even touch me

Suppose I should be used to it. Not even a hug or cuddle. Hell I'd settle for a peck on the cheek at this point. Fuck it all

[zinoperantz-blog]

Fuck you

Just fuck you, you cheating asshole.

[difficult]

[zinoperantz-blog]

Sinking

I'm pretty sure the US is gone for him. Despite a certain level of civility, however miniscule, it seems he simply doesn't care anymore. I don't know what to do. I've succeeded in getting him appointments and finding a way to pay for them. I'm going to burn myself to make his dream come true. A bit self deprecating but it is my reality

[perrfectly]

[zinoperantz-blog]

Wow

I guess I can't even be mad about him cheating. Aight, fuck it

[zinoperantz-blog]

Why

Am I still here. I might as well disappear

[zinoperantz-blog]

Life is weird

I'm laying next to him, he's snoring like always. Hard to believe he doesn't know how much I care. I waited too long to be supportive...rather I was still reeling from it. I honestly didn't know what I was saying hurt him. But that doesn't give him the right to involve himself with a kid I've known for20 years. We have share blood. The worse part is...everyone knew. We really fucked up with each other. He won't even wear his ring...or the necklace I gave him when we first got together. I started this whole mess by flirting with the idea of a separation. I'm not attracted to men, and I want kids. But I love him and he needs this, I have to make it right for him. Even if he doesn't love me anymore.

[zinoperantz-blog]

The hell am I supposed to feel?

He doesn't want me anymore. How do I fix that? I'm surrounded by misery and self doubt. I love him. So much. I can't let our marriage end like that. He was my wife. We've both messed up but this is too much. Does he really think I am so bigoted that I can't love him for who he is? Even if I was slow on the bandwagon, I never stopped supporting him, I never stopped loving...it just doesn't matter, I've lost my world.

[zinoperantz-blog]

Fuck you

I don't even matter to you anymore. Why am I still here and why do you pretend to give a damn.

[zinoperantz-blog]

Well

Last night sucked, though it was very eye opening.  I had a bad night, I very nearly ended myself.  He believes it to be his fault, which I suppose part of it is, but it occurred to me that not one of “our” friends bothered to check up on me.  I don’t seem to be important enough to even say “hi” too.  I know it’s just negative thinking, but it does seem to be true.  I could end right now, and people would barely register it; a few “oh whoa is me” but really no one checked, or cared enough to ask if I was ok, only him/her

[zinoperantz-blog]

I cannot think

My wife will begin the transition within the foreseeable future.  I don’t know what to think or do.  This past 6 months has completely destroyed everything I spent the past 8 years building.  I support her if she is a he and he wants to become physically a he.  Great for him, but I cannot help feeling betrayed.  What happened to the dream of having children and wanting to grow old together?  I want to support him in his time of need, but I am not gay, and the act of becoming a man will simply break any reason for our marriage to continue. How do you support someone in their time of need, when they broke everything you held dear?