sometimes, people don't deserve our kindness. and in those moments, we need to make kindness to ourselves our first priority. sometimes, that means doing things the other person may consider rude, mean, or wrong.
cause in those moments, those people aren't seeing our wants and needs. they aren't seeing who we are - and they think they're right to do that. so, if that doesn't change when we speak up, of course we're going to be the one doing something wrong in their eyes.
that doesn't mean we're actually wrong. taking care of yourself, putting up boundaries, telling someone something was hurtful, fighting for something you need - none of those things are wrong. those are things you deserve to do.