slow motion's still a motion

⭐ star ✨ 24 ⭐ PF-DID, AuDHD, CTD, POTS ✨ quadriparesis ⭐ ME/CFS + MCA maybe? 🤷

[only-knives]

my babies. flynnie is the tabby and momo is the black kitty.

-

my goals for 2026

[only-knives]

holy fuck i feel disoriented as shit time to Go to Bed

[only-knives]

i am calming down. i. sure. DID. fine. whatever. ok. um. they say i talk like jordan. i. sure. he seems cool.

this feels bizarre. i dont recognize anything. i know what a website is but apparently still need help using the browser. how do i know things but not know how to do them?

that feels like it shouldnt be possible. right? ahah? i dont wanna be crazy help me

[only-knives]

hi i am really confused right now. i um. i got people in my head telling me to do things. i was playing a videogame and i. i didnt know how to play it. its hytale. i know how to play minecraft. my head really hurts.

they told me to come here and just type what im thinking and click post and i dont understand why because i dont know whats going on. why am i experiencing this? i dont. i dont. i dont have DID. ok. um. - ???

whew okay. giving them a break. - matt

edit: im afraid to post this. i sound crazy. i dont understand. this shouldn't happen to me. why would this happen to me. who. am i even. what the hell is happening.

they're telling me to just post this and ask what to do from people with DID. so. ...

???

[cross-my-heart-o2]

slowly becoming more disabled by chronic illness and communicating with people is like. no i’m sorry i don’t remember your birthday but i think i still know your favorite color. blue, right? no? thank you for lending me this book, but i don’t think i can finish it before you’d want it back. you said something to me, and i don’t know what it was but it was important. i didn’t do that thing i said i’d do for you. i know i asked this before. i forgot your name but i swear you’re an important part of my life. give me a minute, i don’t understand what you’re saying. i know that was a really big thing but remind me of what we’re talking about again? i’m sorry i left you on delivered for two and a half months, i love you. i forgot the promise we made when we were kids. i don’t remember why you’re mad at me. i don’t understand i’m sorry

[only-knives]

at this point i (CSA & SA survivor) am genuinely just angry that so many adults are out there talking about how they'd kill "pedophiles" without possessing a single shred of understanding of how or why child sexual abuse actually happens.

because, contrary to popular belief, abuse is Not caused by attraction. abuse is caused by entitlement. sex isn't caused by attraction. people still have to choose to have sex. and there are people who have fully consensual sex without feeling any attraction to the other individual.

likewise, there are people who choose to abuse children sexually without having attraction to them. and so, there are also people who feel attraction to children and not only do not act on them, but actively choose not to because they don't want to abuse a child.

yeah. sure. getting revenge on child abusers sounds righteous. do you even know how to spot the difference between a safe adult getting close with a child, and a predatory adult getting close with a child? do you know how to make sure you are not overstepping a child's boundaries in just regular, daily life? do you understand what it takes to protect a victim or survivor from an abuser? do you actually know anything beyond "adult has inappropriate contact with child"?

if you don't know that then i really just don't wanna hear about how you want to kill all pedophiles. if you don't know why i'm angry about this you really need to do some reading about this for the safety of any children or mentally ill people you know.

P.S: "predators" or "offenders" or "abusers" are better terms than "pedophile" for talking about child sexual abuse.

[bunnyycocaine]

[dailycatsblog]

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

The thing is, proving that you're "actually disabled" is a losing game which is rigged against you

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people

[only-knives]

genuinely need people to stop assuming im saying something im nottt

i say what i mean. if i say something that is all i mean unless otherwise stated. i Will Tell You if i am saying something in piecemeal and wanting you to read between the lines.

OtherWise please take whatever i say in my serious nonvent posts at face value. if im saying someone deserves love that is literally all i am saying.

sorry to vague a bit there its just the most recent example

[northstareclipse]

Getting “kys reactionary cunt” messages over the take that autistic people and cult survivors might have reasonable objections to compulsory togetherness is certainly one way to demonstrate that your politics are healthy, liberatory, and not at all organized around coercive social punishment. /s

They are not from the person who vagued and waterboarded me, but they certainly prove that putting people on blast like that has consequences.

I could really use some kind words and support right now, in any case.

[only-knives]

this is awful 🫂 i was thinking about this topic the other day, and i agree. it's absurd that the fact some people won't want to participate socially when expected due to neurodivergence or cult trauma is faced with such hatred. im sorry you have to deal with such narrow minded and selfish people. i hope they leave you be soon.

[wizardarchetypes]

i think avoidance is such a little-recognized ocd compulsion. all the time i talk to people with ocd who are like "i was always having intrusive thoughts about using kitchen knives and harming myself or others but i'm okay now because i just stopped using knives ever 👍 so i'm good now"

and i'm like unfortunately i have bad news.

[wizardarchetypes]

if you don't know why this doesn't work, the issue is that ocd never stops when you implement a compulsion. it evolves. today you've "solved" it by never using a knife again (and losing access to an important cooking tool, thus limiting an aspect of your life) but in a few months or a year it'll be that forks are dangerous too. and hey, isn't it risky to use the stove? avoidance will even begin to manifest in places you might not recognize.

the point is that OCD compulsions are never solutions, they're actually the problems. the intrusive thoughts SEEM like the problem and the compulsions FEEL like the solution. and that's how it getsya.

[only-knives]

turns out getting things to express and accommodate your disability can make you feel proud of yourself and feel safer in the world!!

⭐ card & stickers from The Spoon Club on Etsy (iirc) - they have other variations of the ID card!

[Low spoons ID:

Photo 1: Close up of wheelchair joystick with stickers: a holographic skull, and awareness ribbons for Mast Cell Activation, Ehlers Danlos, and dysautonomia.

Photo 2 & 3: The front and back of an In Case of Emergency card. It provides advice and information for medical professionals and bystanders regarding Hypermobile Connective Tissue Disorders, Dysautonomia, and Immune reactivity. /End ID]

[only-knives]

money may not buy happiness but it does buy you a good enough quality of life to be reasonably happy in. expecting people to push through hard times and be happy as if all people must become saints in hard times instead of being helped and fought for - it's a disgusting and lazy POV.

honestly? i dont blame a single poor person who's "bad with money" for their situation at all. it's hard to budget when you're poor. is it still possible to make more efficient choices? yes! and it's a good thing to encourage and strive for.

but being more efficient with what you have to maximize quality of life and subsequent happiness =/= being traditionally responsible with money. meaning, a poor person spending their money more efficiently doesn't look the same as someone with financial stability and excess.

when you don't have enough money to meet cost of living, let alone the cost of accessing fulfilling activities, you have to decide where to sacrifice mental health and where to sacrifice physical health. it's inevitable. it's human to want to experience something beyond sustenance, or experience something novel/special.

if nearly every single activity costs money to realistically participate in, telling a poor person "money doesn't buy happiness" is just fucking cruel. the fact poor people face so much shame and ridicule for "being irresponsible" while people hoard millions and billions of dollars for themselves is just fucking absurd.

you just hate poor people. even if you are poor people. so am i. you're not better than anyone else because you're more responsible. your circumstances are just different.

[bebsi-cola]

hot tip: when someone else makes a post about disability don't reblog it with an addition that boils down to "this makes me understand why people commit suicide". that's an inside thought, or a separate post even.

[zylahbee]

sexism in medicine kills people. racism in medicine kills people. fatphobia in medicine kills people. queerphobia in medicine kills people. classism in medicine kills people. ableism in medicine kills people.

do not downplay people’s fears about being mistreated because they are a part of a marginalised group. it is a matter of life and death and you should be angry about it.