This is a very long story and i’ll keep it short, without sparing the details.
For the last couple of years, i’ve been in a bad place. I’ve always struggled to find exactly what my purpose is and the more that time goes on, the worse i feel. I know that I need to bring about change and whatever happens, i need to be creative, because that’s who i am. I managed to find myself being pulled in the direction of creative advertising and i enjoyed the process of developing ideas to influence change and create impact. I want to open peoples minds and broaden their perspective, which is what advertising can do. Unfortunately, advertising is one of the worst tools used today, only used to manipulate people into buying shit they don’t need to impress people they don’t like etc. Why the hell would I want to fuel interest in something that not only destroying people, but also destroying the planet? There was no way i was ever going to create a campaign for crap like McDonalds. But if i learnt all of the techniques of advertising, i could use it for good and create great campaigns to bring change to our already severely damaged and brainwashed society.
So, i found myself being drawn into the world of advertising and was accepted onto one of (if not) the best advertising schools. A very intense year long course that would provide me with the tools, the knowledge and my own portfolio to start a career. Unfortunately, this was probably one of the worst time periods of my life. I was having battles in my head everyday because i felt like i was on the wrong track, but at the same time i felt i had no other option. I felt trapped. In hindsight, i should have just left and saved myself the devastation that i eventually became. I spent 13 months in a state of panic, depression and turmoil. I didn’t eat, drink, sleep or share much of the pain inside me. I can’t blame the course completely, because i put a lot of pressure on my self. But at the same time, everyone else at the school was under the same tremendous amount of pressure as well as the threats to produce great work all of the time. Looking back, my health should never have been sacrificed for putting up with that shit. Especially as i’d eventually work for a corrupt agency that only cares about kissing the arse of corrupt brands. I could have saved myself the mental and physical torture if i had just listened to my instincts and left. Unfortunately i was in a place of fear and doing things out of fear only brings pain.
So after 13 months of this shit, i finally decided i’d had enough. My body and mind were dead. I was committed to bringing myself back to life and i didn’t care how long it would take me. I wasn’t going back.
My adrenals were burned out from lack of food, water, sleep and an immense amount of constant stress. My thyroid was out of whack and i was constantly tired. In the end my brain just couldn’t function. I felt like i couldn’t think about anything. I just wanted to stare into space.
For a long time before the advertising course, i wanted to become vegan and help the vegan community to grow. So in order to heal, i fuelled my body with as much fruit and veg as i could. I slept as much as i could and also rested throughout the day. I did do 30 mins of intense exercise a day, which i probably shouldn’t have done. I realised that i had really fucked my body up and it was going to take a very long time to heal. My hormones were completely out of balance and i had caused metabolic damage. After finally nourishing myself and giving my body the rest it needed, my stomach swelled to the point where i looked massively pregnant. Forget 9 months pregnant, i looked like i was 19 months pregnant! There was so much swelling, which was mainly fluid retention. It’s like punching your fist into a wall. The first thing your body does is swell in order to fix it. Apparently, depending on the amount of damage done, it can take months to years to heal.
So here i am healing myself from severe metabolic damage/hormone imbalance. The most importantly thing is nourishing your body with a high carb whole foods vegan diet. It’s really important to eat an unlimited amount - making sure you eat 2500-3000 + calories (for a female) in order to give your body the nourishment it needs to heal. It’s equally important to drink 2 litres + water everyday and get plenty of sleep and rest.
I’ve been healing myself for nearly 10 months and i’m still swollen. I’ve already broken down a number of times because i’ve had enough and i want to be completely happy and healthy again. It gets a bit much when you’re sick of wearing oversized jumpers to hide the swelling. It’s a long road to recovery.
I can’t wait to heal. I’m doing everything i possibly can to help myself and i will never let anything destroy my health ever again. I don’t know what i’m going to do career wise but right now i couldn’t care less.
turnnoffyourmind
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romaincrisis
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