One Nice Bug Per Day
#extradirty
$LAYYYTER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
oozey mess
The Bowery Presents
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
pixel skylines
YOU ARE THE REASON
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if i look back, i am lost
Cosimo Galluzzi
Product Placement
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Mike Driver
Sade Olutola
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todays bird
occasionally subtle
noise dept.
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@zodiac-soul
Capricorn: any cute things to call your s/o?
Cancer: sugar
Libra: honey
Sagittarius: vanilla
Virgo: flour
Aquarius: egg
Scorpio: 1/2lb butter
Aries: stir
Pisces: pour into a pan
Taurus: preheat to 350 degrees
Gemini: bake for 30 to 35 minutes
Leo: Let cool
Libra: Why even drive 15 mins for food when i can sit here and have it brought to me for only $65 more?
Sagittarius: If you're not meant to drink and drive then why do you need a driver's license to buy alcohol?
Gemini: What if this year (as a joke ofc) we dated and saw how everyone reacted to it and went on a bunch of stupid cute dates (as a joke ofc haha)
Aries: who does the Pharaoh talk to when he's sad?
Capricorn: i don't know...?
Aries: his mummy :)
Cancer: Hewwo! I wiww be youw sewgeon towday, intewnaw bweeding you say? Wet’s make ouw fwist wittiwe incision!
Pisces: Dowcto, we’w wosing him!
Cancer: Qwick, hand me the defiwiwatow!!
Scorpio: Please, just turn off my fucking life support.
Aries: they’re tiny mint that live in a plastic prison.
Leo: I said let’s talk TACTICS
Aquarius: is everything ok?
Capricorn: if by ok you mean life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure, then yes, everything is groovy.
Aquarius: that’s not what I meant at all.
Virgo: Just imagine he’s playing basketball, points at you and says “this is for you,” and then completely misses.
Aquarius: ‘Cause you’re not some daddy’s boy who tries to dolphin me and then blimps
Virgo: I understand all these words separately
Capricorn: Y’all, I just tried Powerade mixed with milk. It’s surprisingly really good, it’s like strawberry milk but not, it’s like blueberry milk! Unrelated to this, I’m actually in a pretty bad emotional state right now.
Taurus: Can I speak to your manager? The service here is terrible.
Prison Guard: Can you shut the fuck up?
Therapist: So what’s bothering you?
Capricorn: they’re always using common phrases incorrectly.
Gemini: cry me a table, Capricorn.
Aquarius: *ordering a cake over the phone*
Cake shop employee: and what would you like your cake to say?
Aquarius: *covering the phone to look at the rest of the signs* do we want a talking cake?
Leo: The eagles won last night.
Virgo: Oh, did you watch the game?
Leo, covered in blood and scratches: What game?
Aquarius: it’s times like this where I wish I listened to what Virgo told me.
Taurus: what did they tell you?
Aquarius: I don’t know, I wasn’t listening.
Aries: I’m running low on memes.
Aries: You could say I’m losing mementum.