nothing but zodiac memes

[astro-limbed-deactivated2020112]

The signs as Hercules characters

Hercules // Harmonious, Strong, Self-Sacrificing // Leo, Libra

Meg // Intelligent, Sassy, Troubled // Gemini, Sagittarius

Pegasus // Jealous, Dependable, Protective // Cancer, Scorpio

Hades // Grudging, Humorous, Ambitious // Capricorn, Aquarius

Phil // Loyal, Stubborn, Fiery // Aries, Taurus

The Muses // Observational, Caring, Knowledgable // Virgo, Pisces

[dark-astrology-deactivated20180]

TAG YOURSELF: ZODIAC EDITION

Aries

-Doesn’t know how to use their indoor voice

-Used to be a bully in elementary school

-Has difficulty regulating their emotions

-Likes spicy food

Taurus

-Watches more Netflix than the average human

-Will not hesitate to never talk to you again

-Good at cooking

-Likes flowers a lot

Gemini

-Taco Bell is their favorite restaurant

-Has difficulty falling asleep

-Spends a lot of time on Reddit

-Can burp on command

Cancer

-Eyes don’t blink

-Vegetarian

-Wants everyone to go away

-Books!!!

Leo

-Great eyebrows

-Everyone hates them

-Just wants to take a nap

-Goes shopping to fill the void

Virgo

-Permanent writer’s block

-Can successfully kill a man and hide the body

-Skin is clearer than yours

-Appears to have their shit together

Libra

-Really, really confused

-Just wants a burrito

-Always dtf

-Considers online shopping a sport

Scorpio

-Owns more black than you do

-Sharp nails

-Dead on the inside but still trying

-Just wants to be hugged and loved

Sagittarius

-Likes to party

-Likes to drink

-Likes to talk

-Dislikes having an existential crisis

Capricorn

-Secretly scared of roller coasters

-Wants to do great things but too tired

-Finishes their popcorn before the movie starts

-Weeaboo trash

Aquarius

-Has strong opinions

-Thinks they’re morally superior

-Can’t name a single constellation

-Not even interested in aliens

Pisces

-Nothing is ever their fault

-Just wants to have fun

-No sense of responsibility

-Regrets their tattoo

[fauxastrology]

aries: falling fast— images blur into smudges of colors  void of meaning taurus:  a lullaby lulls  you to sleep, filling your mind with soft clouds gemini: overheated machinery— your body, overworked, burning to make room for spare thoughts  cancer: a careless stream hides rocks slicked with water; how careful you are to avoid them leo: blinding light keeps you in the dark, constantly fearing perceptions virgo: groggy eyes and shaky hands bear witness to the trial of which you’re both judge and defendant libra: awaken spring with  wildflowers’ scent and enjoy the lack of calamity scorpio: a metal tang haunts your tongue  a phantom of past adrenaline  and all the things you’ve done sagittarius: wisps of laughter reach your ear like bells that linger for years capricorn: grappling with the intangible, you find infinity’s presence embedded in finite things aquarius: pretend not to hear them, their words must not propel you in a force of opposition pisces: within your dreaming sleep, you live a life too vivid, too rich to ever replicate awake

sensory poetry for the signs // fauxastrology (via fauxastrology)

[zodiazilla]

the signs as seasons

Aries: winter

Taurus: summer

Gemini: spring

Cancer: autumn

Leo: summer

Virgo: spring

Libra: autumn

Scorpio: autumn

Sagittarius: summer

Capricorn: winter

Aquarius: spring

Pisces: winter

[wowstrology]

The signs New Years resolutions

Aries: learn to cook without burning down the kitchen

Taurus: get rich and famous

Gemini: bring up their grades

Cancer: meet their favorite band 

Leo: to stop fucking swearing

Virgo: learn how to play an instrument

Libra: sleep

Scorpio: leave their bedroom

Sagittarius: go to the gym ( at LEAST once )

Capricorn: travel more

Aquarius: gET INTO A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP

Pisces: take over the world

[aloofzodiac]

the signs as pop queens

Aries: christina aguilera Taurus: janet jackson Gemini: kylie minogue Cancer: mariah carey Leo: madonna Virgo: beyoncé Libra: gwen stefani Scorpio: ciara Sagittarius: britney spears Capricorn: aaliyah Aquarius: lady gaga Pisces: rihanna

[zombiesandpenguins]

The Signs As Out Of Context Quotes I've Collected

Aries: “cut ur gay bullshit and tell me where the anime is" 

Taurus: "I’m just moving cocaine, officer, it’s very casual it’s not a big deal." 

Gemini: "So I have some loose threads on my knee socks, and on the one hand: I want to try to burn it to keep the ends from fraying. But on the other: I might light my socks on fire.”

Cancer:  “I am Angst”

Leo:  “Like hes definitely the kinda guy that youre like ‘yeah cool lets have fun!’ Then you wake up under an overpass with a scar where your kidney would be and a stolen necklace in your pocket beside a phone number scribbled on a taco bell wrapper”

Virgo: “Despite popular belief, I am heterosexual.”

Libra: “I was using logic; you were spewing shit!”    

Scorpio: “You know what really hurt those kittens? The fact that they don’t know anything about the world, and theyre stupidity got themselves hurt. So it wasn’t my fault. They’re like 2 days old and they need to pay taxes”

Sagittarius:  “My favorite pastimes are dying and getting arrested”

Capricorn:  “Can you be arrested if you’re dead? Like you died but they’re like 'you did it’ and they cuff you and everything and you’re just chillin but they still like read you your Miranda rights and everything.”

Aquarius:  “I never know what to do in nudes”

Pisces: “I’m a butt enthusiast, you can’t tell me I’m wrong.”

[athenazodiac-deactivated2016011]

LIES | Marina & the Diamonds

“You’re never gonna love me, so what’s the use?” - Pisces, Virgo, Capricorn

“What’s the point in playing a game you’re gonna lose?” - Scorpio, Aquarius, Leo

“What’s the point in saying you love me like a friend?” - Libra, Aries, Gemini

“What’s the point in saying it’s never gonna end?” - Sagittarius, Cancer, Taurus

[arianastrology]

The Signs Playing Cards Against Humanity

Aries: Declares they must play with shots

Taurus: Snapchats the whole game

Gemini: Gets pissed off when they don’t win

Cancer: ‘’Hey, that’s mean, why is this card in here?’’

Leo: Cheats and looks at their cards before choosing them from the box

Virgo: Sits there with a smug look as they win every round

Libra: Falls asleep half way through and wakes up to someone screaming ‘’QUEEN ELIZABETHS IMMACULATE ANUS’’

Scorpio: Judges everyone else’s cards

Sagittarius; Is the one shouting ‘’QUEEN ELIZABETHS IMMACULATE ANUS’’

Capricorn: Somehow forgets to pick up cards and ends up with 2 left

Aquarius: Gives up and watches TV half way through

Pisces: Looks really innocent but ends up having the nastiest answers. 

[duhaesthetic]

things that remind me of the signs as ive known them

aries: bonfires on the beach, laughing when you’re supposed to be quiet, bruises you dont know how you got, hearing your heart pounding in your ears, dragons taurus: flour fights when baking, handwriting getting messier as it goes down the page, planets w rings, overgrown cottages, thigh tattoos gemini: blowing bubbles, mismatched socks, sour candy, peacock feathers, sharpened colored pencils, the breath you take before you set out to do something amazing cancer: footprints in the sand, dangling your feet out of the car window, sea shells, the way streets shine after it rains, perfume masking the smell of cigarettes leo: scrunching your nose up when you smile, crowns, loud laughter, stealing street signs, impromptu photoshoots w your friends, the sun, loudly singing along to music in the car virgo: blocking out the world w your headphones, daisies, humming to yourself, thigh highs, record players, minimalist artwork, choker necklaces, forest landscapes covered in fog libra: sunflowers, a pile of books waiting to be read, oversized sweaters, worn notebooks, flowers peaking up between the cracks in the sidewalk, doodling during class scorpio: sitting by a roaring fire on a rainy day, forehead kisses, hoodies that cover your hands, guard dogs, road trips, baseball hats, the way conversations get after midnight sagittarius: walking around with a blanket for a cape, flannel shirts, quiet roads, fishing boats tied up at the dock, funny poses w statues, telescopes capricorn: leather jackets, downtown city skylines, the way clouds look from airplane windows, ripped jeans, driving at night, the asteroid belt aquarius: dolphins jumping out of the water, candles, glitter, neon signs, holding hands w your friends, colored hair, roller coasters pisces: waves crashing, the smell of rain, watercolor tattoos, getting letters in the mail, long hugs, the soft light of dawn, fluffy clouds

[virgofromaugust]

stuff about the signs (pt. 1)

aries

extremely motivated, has something to do almost all the time

optimistic people

impatient/impulsive

spontaneous

they live in the present, they flow with it

past-present = not cool 

typical extrovert people, but they enjoy alone time too

they can be very egocentric and obsessive

they’re very honest, it is what it is and sometimes it sucks because they hurt people

charisma 8/10

they love to be recognized because of intellectual merits (a lot of times their parents just focus on how restless they are and that’s equal to sending everything to sh*t)

they need respect from everYONE

they need to be always moving

taurus

romantic/sensual

artistic and innovative, their inspiration is the world

emotional to the point of becoming possessive (note: like 67% of the times you like them they don’t give a f*ck, but when you don’t like them anymore they regret and look for you)

they are perceptible to pleasure (pleasure from the senses, like, the pleasure of hearing, tasting, seeing, touching, smelling… and ofc sexual pleasure), so, if they eat a lot it’s not because they’re pigs without a cause or some trash like that, okay?

affectionate, loving like a teddy bear

they don’t trust easily, but when they do they trust 1000%

patient and methodical

too self-critical, that makes them anxious or insecure

they are unconsciously manipulative sometimes

sassy people

gemini

they have a very quick mind, and are very creative; they are the best ones telling stories and are masters of improvisation

they feel and touch TOO MUCH; if a gemini has touched you they give you sensations

overly dramatic people, very hilarious and funny too, usually social butterflies and extrovert

charming and charismatic, they’re very curious and tend to look younger than their age; friendly and educated

prone to anxiety

they can’t be quiet for a minute

forever child-like

they change their mood, mind and perspective like they change their underwear. they’re not two-faced, they just see everything different all the time

they find themselves in the need of being leaders sometimes

open-minded x1000

they’re intrusive and a lot of time they don’t measure their actions

they’re smart and enjoy doing jokes and being mischiveous

when angry they hate you with a passion and in 2 minutes they move on. but they don’t forget

exciting to be with

cancer

tend to be on a bad mood, they use to being calculating, messy and self-compassive; very sensitive, they have mood swings and a hard time moving on

their personality is hard to understand

they hate failure (it’s 100 times harder recovering than falling apart)

they love their family

imaginative, the writers from the zodiac

patient and attentive while learning new things

they’re those introverts who always find themselves on extrovert situations and deal with it very good

some of them can change completely to the point they’re no longer themselves

they’re very manipulative and vengeful (but only in their mind, you can’t see that on their actions)

they love to remind the past and imagine the future

very emotional and self-critical

they tend to be messy and to feel alluded (sometimes because of imaginary situations), they love compliments and can easily change their opinion about people; ambitious

they’re a walking contradiction

they’re very understanding on relationships; however, they tend to expect too much from people (ending disappointed) and too little from themselves

leo

romantic, not in the same sensual way taurus is but on large scale

cool kids, they drive very fast without knowing where they’re going…

they were born to be social, despite they make themselves believe they’re not; extremely vain

their mechanism of self-defense is pretending to be best than everyone else

proudest people on history, they love to argue and share opinions but hate when things get too serious; they always want to be right, in their minds they always are

they love spending money

along with gemini, they’re the most childish signs

they act like they’re obsessive-compulsive

the best kisses

they have a big yet fragile ego

they’re one of the most complex and interesing signs to be with

virgo

one of the most mysterious signs, they prefer to not showing their true feelings, and are prone to suffer emotional disorders

they’re very hard-working, they believe that’s the key to get everything they wish, they like to impress people

unfortunately most of the times they should think instead of doing a lot of unnecessary work

very smart, witty and charming

honorable people, most of them very worthy and proper

they like everything to be in order and clean

sensitive and perfectionist

20% of virgo men are called ladylike because they’re very respectful, well-educated and polite

very persuasive, they’ll make you think what they think

they choose to have a lot of interests

zodiac good girls/boys

they’re the best teachers because they will understand you and will find the best way for you to learn

clean hippies x1000

they’ll always try to help everyone they love

we all need virgo people to not kill each other

translated from x

[virgofromaugust]

stuff about the signs (pt. 2)

 libra

generally, they are very attractive people, physical and spiritually

they look cute, but actually they’re a mess

social butterflies, you know they’re nice from the moment you meet them

popular people

they’re the most indecisive, that’s why sometimes they can’t be good leaders (ofc there are exceptions)

agressive when defending things that matter to them, their dreams. one of the most important is equality and you can see a lot of libras fighting for social equality

it’s hard to change their minds

perfect teammates

they always look for someone to defend, like it’s a need

if a libra hasn’t flirted with you before, you aren’t human

they feel rejected, but that’s on them because people like them very much

they are vey noble and sometimes they don’t realize people are taking advantage of them. sad but true

enthusiastic and polite people

quick learning (above average)

they’re actually very sexual

they want the people they love to be fine and in peace, they’re not selfish

scorpio

complex people, big thinkers with a great imagination

practical, they do and undo things incredibly quick

passionate people, sometimes possessive

psychic and analytical traits since they were born

they can be insensitive to others

but actually they feel too hard

despite most scorpios are introverts, they’re natural leaders

they’re self-destructive… too destructive, you don’t want a scorpio to be your enemy, trust me

likes adventures

stubborn and hard-headed, they’re very hard to deal with

they’re very jealous, but they know how to control it. usually they are because they’re afraid of being too clingy, even when they’re not (told you, complex people)

they’re very competitive, they believe the end justifies the means; they don’t cooperate a lot, if they’re good or bad, that’s important because they damage or help in their strange way

sagittarius

the free spirits; these buddies will be okay as long as they have freedom, in every way

don’t tell them they can’t do something, because they won’t stop until they show you they can

for them, “no” means “yes”. “maybe” means “yes”.  everything is a damn yes

reverse psychology works well with them

loyal and trustworthy. they may not always be there when you need them, but when you get their attention you get ALL their attention

this people gives much without expecting things in return, they like to see everyone happy

they have an incredible luck, that’s why things always go their way

charming and good when talking in public, they usually have hidden talents (but they won’t show them that easily)

independent and progressive

good philosophers, with good and new ideas

excelent humor sense

the most incorrect people on earth

they get carried away because of pleasure

strong personality

capricorn

nothing describes them better than the word “ambition”; they know what they want, how to get there and nothing will stop them

they have an inner self who leads them even when they can’t keep following it

they’re a disaster regards to love

they’re prone to depression, because they get too intense

this is one of the signs that lives more completely, because they turn themselves into what they want and they focus on that

they’re very sexual with the one

they can be mean, because they’re kinda vain and think they know everything

can get attached to a easy routine and they don’t even like it

they have too many secrets

talented and hilarious. they’re introvert people who can take the role of an extrovert so well

they’re very charismatic, usually role models but they have to put much effort to not be manipulative

they’re leaders on emergencies; they make possible the impossible

aquarius

the quirkiest sign, they’re filled with very cool ideas and have unusual interests

they’re tense and tend to look for people who only uses/hurts them; they like to be alone and are prone to be an only child

veeeeeeryyyyy smart

curious and experimental

they’re not affectionate or emotional, but they crave to feel these emotions despite they don’t admit it. they need someone to trust and who they can be themselves with

even when most of them have a very strange side (which is good), they’re polite and have good manners

hot tempered, they’re afraid of intimacy but at the same time they desire it

manipulative

they’re very proud; when they’re talented at something they know it and feel very proud of it (that’s good)

good luck when you want an aquarius to apologize lol

they have a hard time discovering what is what they want for their lives, but once they discover it nothing will stop them in their way of reaching the goal

they’re friendly once they trust you, and they’re the most loyal friends you’ll ever have. once they care about you they’ll do whatever for you, like, pick you up at 3 am when you’re devastated and confused. an aquarius will always find a way

pisces

they don’t like conflict; they use to being confident yet they’re not assertive, they don’t show it that much

they like either to show off or to be unnoticed

they’re romantic and appreciate the art of simplicity

very hard to provoke

yes, they’re sensitive but they’re elastic too. if you throw trash at them they won’t fall apart easily

they enjoy being close to people. loneliness = NOT COOL

they’re artistic and enjoy music, films, paintings, literature, watching the clouds, the rain… they find beauty in everything

they’re eternally in love, always falling for someone

is that friend who thinks everyone is perfect

their mechanism of self-defense is lying to themselves

they’re altruistic and will do everything for those who they love

do you think they won’t hurt anyone? do you think they’re cute and innocent? you can’t be any more wrong, that’s the image they have earned… there are good ones, and there are truly bad ones

 they like to victimize themselves and then complain about how others call them weak

walking contradiction

they’re good listeners and love to analyze; when they’re your true friends they are the best, they’re understanding and give empathy

translated from x

[zodiazilla]

YAYO | Lana Del Rey ✨

Put me onto your black motorcycle: Sagittarius, Leo, Capricorn

Fifties babydoll dress for my "I do": Libra, Pisces, Taurus

It only takes two hours to Nevada: Aries, Gemini, Scorpio

I wear your sparkle, you call me your mama: Aquarius, Virgo, Cancer

[aloofzodiac]

the signs as 90s bands

aries: nirvana taurus: the cardigans gemini: my bloody valentine cancer: hole leo: garbage virgo: radiohead libra: oasis scorpio: nine inch nails sagittarius: placebo capricorn: marilyn manson aquarius: sonic youth pisces: slowdive

[basicastrology]

the signs & crushes

*realizes feelings* *internal screaming*: aries, libra, cancer

“it was like a movie… I knew from the moment we met there was a connection,”: pisces, leo, capricorn

nods quickly and accepts fate, goes back to whatever they were doing: virgo, sagittarius, aquarius

nope. no. won’t ever admit their feelings until like, 3 years into a relationship: scorpio, taurus, gemini

((this has been done before, i know, but cut me some slack))

[zodiazilla]

The signs during the apocalypse

Aries: is holed up in their house with all the windows and doors boarded closed and is living off of beans. Wears an eyepatch for no reason

Taurus: shooting everything that moves and probably stealing everybody's shit and hoarding it all in their hideout

Gemini: has literally built a nest in a tree and keeps getting attacked because they keep accidentally setting their guns off and alerting everyone to their position

Cancer: is desperately trying to find a way to shower and refuses to stop and help anyone just for the simple fact that everyone is gross and stinky

Leo: thinks they're a war-hardened veteran and is out constantly looking for a fight. Especially loves hang out in old deserted bars and scrounge for booze

Virgo: has taken up residence in an abandoned prison, complete with a self rigged panic button and booby traps. gets caught in their own traps on a weekly basis and ends up hanging from the ceiling for a few hours

Libra: is commonly referred to as "the pack rat." Only comes out at night to snoop through old stores and malls and often carries their treasure back into the dark hole from whence they came. Sneak level: 1000%

Scorpio: is probably holed up in a old library even though it creeps them tf out. Is commonly seen wearing some kind of new gadget that they've created from their scraps and always seems to get zapped by said gadget, which makes them look twitchy. People generally stay away from these guys

Sagittarius: lives in a literal hole underground. Tends to talk to inanimate objects and has probably taken the fall of humanity the hardest. Is ALWAYS telling jokes that make absolutely no sense to their pets rocks Alfonso and Garret.

Capricorn: desperately trying to maintain normality by rigging up plumbing systems and having elaborate meals that consist of various types of expired canned foods. Very handy but also quite untrusting. Do not approach.

Aquarius: hasn't realized the world has ended. These guys literally left the house, got in the car and drove to the mall only to be amazed by the amount of available prime parking spots. Expect them to be very confused during the entire apocalypse

Pisces: commonly referred to as "the moles." Have banded together to form an elaborate maze of tunnel systems complete with laws and a secret language. They are severely lacking in the weaponry and defense department and often join up with Leo's or Scorpios in order to protect themselves.

[zodiazilla]

Zodiac Signs as Literary Novels:

Aries: Despair by Vladimir Nabokov

Taurus: Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Gemini: On The Road by Jack Kerouac

Cancer: The Collector by John Fowles

Leo: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Virgo: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Libra: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Scorpio: As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

Sagittarius: The Call Of The Wild by Jack London

Capricorn: Catcher in the Rye By J.D Salinger

Aquarius: The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Pisces: The Magus by John Fowles