"hi my love, i'm on stream, so-"
your hiss is short, blunt, and it makes kenma's eyes bulge out of his skull in fear. he had his phone on speaker, assuming you would want to say hi to his viewers- apparently, he was wrong- and he looks at the scrolling chat in shock, as if trying to make sure that the way you're speaking to him really just happened. he pauses before clearing his throat, "uh... i think this might be something we should discuss off stream-"
"no," you snap. "i want the whole fanbase to hear this. everyone deserves an answer."
kenma feels his heartrate spike, blinking and gnawing his lip anxiously. his knee starts to bounce, your scold making him pout slightly because he didn't do anything wrong for once.
"what's going on?" he asks, helplessly.
you take a deep breath in. kenma watches his chat flow with comments, some comments comforting and others joining his confusion- there's another part of his comments that tell him how hot you sound angry, but his moderators will take care of them.
he hears you sigh in annoyance, "so i just wanna know, husband-" your word is laced with venom, and he shudders at the sound of it slipping from your mouth.
"-why the fuck your mii 'happy' to be married to my mii, and my mii thinks your mii is her soulmate?"
kenma can't help but snort, hand flying to his face to hide his amusement from you. immediately, the chat changes from discourse to laughter, emoji's and "LMAOOO"'s scrolling through in hoards.
he hears you huff a laugh, but you try to contain yourself to continue the bit, "like what is up with that? if we can't have stability in tomodachi life, how am i supposed to trust you in real life? i literally made you to perfection and you still don't want me, so..."
kenma's mouth opens and closes, trying to formulate words as his mind swirls with so much relief and endearment for you. he shrugs, "well clearly my mii lost his mind, so-"
"no, because why are you just 'happy' to be with me?" you ask, boredom and disinterest in his tone. "like what could she not be giving you?"
kenma pokes his tongue in his cheek, blushing at the fact that you, his wife, are so in love with him, you berate him on live internet about a counterpart he didn't even know existed. he swings back and forth in his chair as you scold him further.
"if your mii doesn't straighten out, i'm making shoyo fall in love with me," you threaten.
his face grows serious, "no... wait, no, i'll talk to him, do not go marry shoyo, i cannot compete with him-"
"then fix it," you growl. then, you huff, "i love you, dick head."
"i love you too, goddess," he assures.
you hang up the phone, and kenma slowly turns back to his stream. "no one saw anything," he commands. "that didn't just happen..."
his stream reminds him of all the clips they just took, teasing him for being in love with his wife so disgustingly. "whatever, you guys are just jealous, let's just get back in it-"
it didn't take long for kenma to be interrupted once again, this time by hinata shoyo making a post that made him thunk his head on the mic, little laughs breaking up the pause menu music.
hinata_msby21 @/gamerkdzkn heard your missus isn't jazzed with your mii right now.... @/gamerkdzknswife my mii's got flowers with your name on them 😉
"SHOYO STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE!"