too old for this

Cezanne || 29 || They/Them || the only about page i have is /about. the link keeps breaking so sorry mobile users.

[zorakings]

Donate to Rent & Moving Surprise Expenses!, organized by Jordan Larson

Hi all! My roommate and I decided to go separate ways due to rough financial si… Jordan Larson needs your support for Rent & Moving

Hi all!

My roommate and I decided to go separate ways due to rough financial situations. We thought our lease ended on May 15th, but unfortunately we were a whole month and a day off- our lease ends June 16th. Per our lease, we are responsible for the extra rent even though we've vacated the premise. My former roommate had to quit his job because it wasn't a remote position, so he has no income to help. I'm still employed but I had to take out a payday loan just to keep us caught up and make sure we had enough money for the move- so I'm severely strapped for cash until that's paid off next year.

The rent for the month is 1750, and the next month is likely going to be around 880.Additionally, we had to leave some items behind due to time and lack of storage space (couches and a desk). This normally wouldn't be a problem if we had a security deposit to lean on, but we got into our old apartment on a special deal that only leaves 99 dollars for the deposit that our landlord can use to clean up- so we're going to be charged extra. In total, I'm estimating a need of 3000 at the max.

As everyone says, every little bit helps, and please spread the word if you're able to. Thank you!

[zorakings]

goal update! i managed to get enough money for the current month of rent! i'm still in need of about 600 dollars in order to pay next month of rent, and anything that goes over that will be for paying my landlord cleaning fees and whatnot. Please keep spreading! I appreciate it deeply.

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[felikatze]

URGH. Emmerich Holyblade and I just went to The Ceremony to receive our RPG Job Titles, and he OBVIOUSLY got Chosen Hero Sword Saint. So now he's gonna set out to kill the Demon Lord of Darkness.

Me? I just got Dark Mage. Honestly, it's pretty rare, but the job opportunities are also limited. You either get into covert assassination or dungeon raiding.

God, just because we're the only two kids in The Village, Emmerich Holyblade automatically assumes this makes us friends. He doesn't even realize I hate him and his stupid smug swordsman ass.

URGGHHHH he just asked me to join his Grand Hero's Party. fuck. I can't just say no if the Grand Holy King himself is gonna payroll us to do this shit. Whatever man. Let's rock till the Demon Lord of Darkness is dead, and then I can retire and never see Emmerich Holyblade again.

[felikatze]

Help me. I've been trying to quit the Grand Hero's Party but Emmerich keeps introducing me as his childhood friend to all the new fucking party members. I hate them all.

The tank Ferron Shieldson gives me bro fists hard enough to bruise. Sister Savantha Healier has tripped over her habit ten times in the past hour.

Elfdame Woodsworth the beautiful elf archer huntress keeps dragging deer carcasses to camp. I'm so tired of venison.

[felikatze]

I've been trying to have the Grand Hero's Party kick me out, but instead of undervaluing my Super Secret Invisible Debuff Technique (which looks like I'm just standing there) Emmerich Holyblade figured out it stacks with his Five Phoenix Absolution to hit the damage cap.

Outside of combat, I've done a lot of very invisible low-tier work nobody really needs, such as managing all of our finances and inventory, yet they keep fucking including me and praising my efforts when they're having a drink at the tavern.

Emmerich Holyblade spilled some beer on my shadowy cloak when he slung an arm around my shoulder. His breath stinks.

[felikatze]

I'm so tired of camping, honestly. Random Farmers and Shit keep inviting us to stay with them for the night, but their beds suck and I hate the food.

Our reputation really soared when we stopped one of the Four Demonic Kings of the East North South and West from destroying Capital City of the Holy Church Kingdom Nation.

Emmerich Holyblade insists my 70% Paralysis Debuff clutched the entire encounter despite dealing the Super Cool Omega Finisher, so everyone's asking me for autographs.

Shouldn't he know I hate social interaction if he claims to be my "childhood friend"?? LEAVE ME ALONE.

At least Princess Dowed Verily only has eyes for Emmerich Holyblade and his stupidly sculpted biceps. Weird he insists on ignoring her advances, though. Dude, you could be King. What the hell.

[felikatze]

Emmerich Holyblade truly is the worst. Princess Dowed Verily tried to have me exiled before the whole court, saying I'm just a leech on the Grand Hero's Party besmirching my "childhood friend"'s good name and status, but Emmerich Holyblade fucking defended me!!!

He said I'm invaluable to this party both as part of our battle plans, our day-to-day tasks, and as his "dearest companion". GROSS!!!

Doesn't he realize this was the PERFECT chance for me to disappear to another country???

Why did I think this Demon Lord of Darkness-slaying shit was a good idea in the first place?? Surely Emmerich Holyblade's boundless enthusiasm to be a do-gooder can't be an infectious disease??

[felikatze]

Another day, another trial. We journeyed to the Yggdrasil Holy Nature Origin Forest because it's said the Elves of the Yggrasil Holy Nature Origin Worldtree have the sacred sword Swordexcaliburn, the only weapon capable of permanently killing the Demon Lord of Darkness for good.

Except Elfsdame Woodsworth might be the Holy Nature Origin Princess, or something. I wasn't really paying attention to her dramatic backstory.

After we killed the Holy Nature Origin King (who was really one of the Four Demonic Kings of the East North South and West in disguise), Elfsdame Woodsworth the beautiful elf archer huntress just kinda gave us the sword.

It's sunset right now, and I climbed a tree to just overlook the forest in peace, ALONE, except Emmerich Holyblade "knew I'd do something like this", so now he's HERE. HE ALWAYS DOES THIS!!!!

Blergh. Now we're watching the sun set over the whole Holy Kingdom Church Nation. It's pretty, but that dumbass Emmerich Holyblade isn't even looking at it. Idiot.

At least he's being quiet.

[felikatze]

By the way, we beat up the other two Four Demonic Kings of the East North South and West, because we don't really have the time to show all this onscreen, you know? Nobody really cares about them anyways.

We've reached the Demon Lord of Darkness's Dark Demonic Castle Keep now, and we're striking tomorrow.

It's my last chance to quit if I don't want to beef it tomorrow (I do not trust Ferron Shieldson to shield me), but Emmerich Holyblade said he can't do it without me. HE, singular?? So everybody else can do it without me??

And to make matters worse, he said he'd tell me something after we beat the Demon Lord of Darkness. Why the hell tell me you're gonna tell me something??? Just tell me in the first place so I can ditch.

And besides, as if anyone could actually kill the goddamn Chosen Hero Sword Saint. At the very least, he's gonna survive tomorrow. Doesn't he realize how stupidly contrived his powerset is?? Dude, as IF.

I told him that, and he ran off. I'm never going to understand him.

One more day, and I'm leaving forever. Grand Holy King better pay up good, or I'm covert assassinating his ass.

[felikatze]

Inside the Dark Demon Castle Keep, we had to fight through so many waves of enemies, like Sister Savantha Healier's Evil Twin, who worships the Demon Lord of Darkness instead of the Goddess of Good Stuff.

But mainly I was just standing in the back. Debuffing is a crazy magic drain, so I did get super tired, but the most exciting thing I was involved with was when Sister Savantha Healier's Evil Twin threw her weapon at me in a last ditch attempt to take at least one of us down, but Emmerich Holyblade intercepted it. With his body.

Sister Savantha Healier just healed him after, though, so it's fine. I might've been mincemeat had that hit my squishy self. I'm a proud backliner, okay. But it was still pretty stupid and unnecessary, considering we have Phoenix Blessing Revival Potion Stones.

Demon Lord of Darkness up ahead... Just one more boss and we're doooooone.

[felikatze]

Anyways, the Demon Lord of Darkness wasn't even that cool. The orchestra was great though. I gotta see if the piano player survived the Dark Demon Castle Keep's collapse.

Everybody weakened the Demon Lord of Darkness with their own strikes, so Emmerich Holyblade could finish him off properly with the holy sword Swordexcaliburn.

Before he did, he looked at me with these fucking... star-filled eyes and bright smile, which made everybody else also look at me, which made the Demon Lord of Darkness laugh, so I just nodded at Emmerich Holyblade to go kill the fucking Demon Lord of Darkness already.

God, that took so long. I'm taking a vacation. I'm disappearing into a forest without any elves in it and never talking to another person ever again.

At least now I get to know whatever Emmerich Holyblade wants to tell me. It better be good, because it's the last thing he'll ever tell me.

[felikatze]

He, uh. He. Well he. Uh. Hm. Well. How do I put this. Well. Hm. Uhhhhhhhhhh.

E-Emmerich Holyblade, well, he.

Much to. To think about. yeah.

[felikatze]

I said yes.

[curejune]

[felikatze]

JUNE. JUNE WHEN I GET YOU!!!! aurgh i love these. thank you so much. how did you know i kept imagining emmerich as blonde. AND THE PIANO PLAYER IN THE BACK RHRGH

[talesfromthecrypts]

I’m so good at video games

[bebsi-cola]

disabled people are often in permacrisis

[bebsi-cola]

there's never enough money each month. there's always an unexpected illness. new symptoms pop up or old symptoms flare up. meds have to be managed always and refilled constantly and any refill has the opportunity to go wrong. any regular care has the opportunity to go wrong. any mistake can send your health spiralling. it's always "i just need to get through this bad patch" but as soon as one ends another begins. another crisis begins in the middle of the last crisis. managing one thing leaves another thing to be neglected until that becomes a major issue and has to be managed asap and the cycle starts anew over and over and over

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

via prev

[hightide-error]

yeah they're going to tear out my soul tomorrow. that's right, they're gonna crack it open like a crab shell to get at the eternal essence inside. yeah it's not ideal but they're going to replace it with something dark and unholy so my consciousness will continue to animate a demonic thrall, so that's pretty neat

[apricops]

can I just say that we all owe Kojima an apology for Metal Gear Solid 2? He looked right into the camera and said “the future of information control will not be censorship, it will be drowning people in trivial noise and misinformation until people partition themselves into their own separate realities” in TWO THOUSAND AND ONE. Three years before Facebook existed. Kojima gave us the biggest Babe-Ruth-pointing-at-the-sky called shot of all time and we weren’t ready for it.

[zorakings]

Donate to Rent & Moving Surprise Expenses!, organized by Jordan Larson

Hi all! My roommate and I decided to go separate ways due to rough financial si… Jordan Larson needs your support for Rent & Moving

Hi all!

My roommate and I decided to go separate ways due to rough financial situations. We thought our lease ended on May 15th, but unfortunately we were a whole month and a day off- our lease ends June 16th. Per our lease, we are responsible for the extra rent even though we've vacated the premise. My former roommate had to quit his job because it wasn't a remote position, so he has no income to help. I'm still employed but I had to take out a payday loan just to keep us caught up and make sure we had enough money for the move- so I'm severely strapped for cash until that's paid off next year.

The rent for the month is 1750, and the next month is likely going to be around 880.Additionally, we had to leave some items behind due to time and lack of storage space (couches and a desk). This normally wouldn't be a problem if we had a security deposit to lean on, but we got into our old apartment on a special deal that only leaves 99 dollars for the deposit that our landlord can use to clean up- so we're going to be charged extra. In total, I'm estimating a need of 3000 at the max.

As everyone says, every little bit helps, and please spread the word if you're able to. Thank you!

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[zorakings]

Donate to Rent & Moving Surprise Expenses!, organized by Jordan Larson

Hi all! My roommate and I decided to go separate ways due to rough financial si… Jordan Larson needs your support for Rent & Moving

Hi all!

My roommate and I decided to go separate ways due to rough financial situations. We thought our lease ended on May 15th, but unfortunately we were a whole month and a day off- our lease ends June 16th. Per our lease, we are responsible for the extra rent even though we've vacated the premise. My former roommate had to quit his job because it wasn't a remote position, so he has no income to help. I'm still employed but I had to take out a payday loan just to keep us caught up and make sure we had enough money for the move- so I'm severely strapped for cash until that's paid off next year.

The rent for the month is 1750, and the next month is likely going to be around 880.Additionally, we had to leave some items behind due to time and lack of storage space (couches and a desk). This normally wouldn't be a problem if we had a security deposit to lean on, but we got into our old apartment on a special deal that only leaves 99 dollars for the deposit that our landlord can use to clean up- so we're going to be charged extra. In total, I'm estimating a need of 3000 at the max.

As everyone says, every little bit helps, and please spread the word if you're able to. Thank you!

[zorakings]

Donate to Rent & Moving Surprise Expenses!, organized by Jordan Larson

Hi all! My roommate and I decided to go separate ways due to rough financial si… Jordan Larson needs your support for Rent & Moving

Hi all!

My roommate and I decided to go separate ways due to rough financial situations. We thought our lease ended on May 15th, but unfortunately we were a whole month and a day off- our lease ends June 16th. Per our lease, we are responsible for the extra rent even though we've vacated the premise. My former roommate had to quit his job because it wasn't a remote position, so he has no income to help. I'm still employed but I had to take out a payday loan just to keep us caught up and make sure we had enough money for the move- so I'm severely strapped for cash until that's paid off next year.

The rent for the month is 1750, and the next month is likely going to be around 880.Additionally, we had to leave some items behind due to time and lack of storage space (couches and a desk). This normally wouldn't be a problem if we had a security deposit to lean on, but we got into our old apartment on a special deal that only leaves 99 dollars for the deposit that our landlord can use to clean up- so we're going to be charged extra. In total, I'm estimating a need of 3000 at the max.

As everyone says, every little bit helps, and please spread the word if you're able to. Thank you!

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[willgrahamscock]

they want you to care more about 'job' than yaoi... don't fall for this scam

[pundeserving]

Everyone on 4/13, crawling out of their secret homestuck bunkers,

[ultimatefandomjumper]

hehe i wanted to animate them to an older trend and the rpg meme was SPEAKING to me.. teehee i indulged

[moondane-lovers]

TO ANYONE WHO USES DISCORD- FOUR AI SCRAPING BOTS HAVE BEEN SECRETLY ADDED TO YOUR SERVERS WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT

Saw this going around and tested it myself, and I can confirm that this is unfortunately legit. Four hidden bots have been placed in any existing or newly created Discord server that are harvesting data, images, and most concerningly, one seems to be a face swap bot.

Due to them being invisible, banning them from your servers isn't possible without their ID's, which I've typed out for easy access.

1153984868804468756 1288638725869535283 1090660574196674713 1104973139257081909

Banning is done with the /ban command with each string pasted in one at a time. Four ban commands in total.

Image proof below and further information. This was in my PERSONAL server that has existed for +5 years. Discord is harvesting your shit without your consent, fight back.

[unluckyxse7en]

Hey so in case you're like me and wondered: Can you ban members without them being in the server?

The answer is yes, you absolutely can! It'll look like this - the numbers you paste will be what's "banned"

However my sibling tried this in her servers and found that One of them was NOT a string of numbers, like so:

And for clarity it isn't a difference in user or device, this is what she got elsewhere:

So if you ban these numbers and the message shows the actual username? Pretty sure that means they were in there.

Very unpleasant way to check the veracity of this post but hopefully this is a helpful tip for anyone who was concerned - my sib would have No Reason to add these in herself and didn't have any clue it was in there.

Personally, I'd say even if you are still worried about misinfo/fearmongering/etc from this post, think of it this way - worst case scenario is you're banning a bot you'll never use or need. Not a person, a bot. There's no real damage done playing it safe and running the ban commands through, aside from maybe losing some time doing so.

Best of luck everyone.

[thisistrashking]

Confirmed.

[cherryviii]

same shit new day