It will always be me

[zully7-5]

08-13

Intimacy is all I ask. I don’t believe it is too much to ask. Our relationship has become more of friendship than lover. Don’t get me wrong I love the fact that we are friends! But the moment I am feeling more like another “homie” it becomes a problem. 

But how can I make him understand my point of view? When all he does is make excuses. This is not just affecting our relationship but myself esteem! I really don’t know what to do or to touch this subject without him just give me round around. 

[zully7-5]

After my parent separation my life just went down hill. I couldn't imagine why someone could destroy a family just for her needs. At 13yrs old I started to seek for that love that I was missing, until this day I'm still looking for it. But I have discover that the love and approval that I seek is for that father that keep trying to putting my self-esteem down. 

The father that even though he support me, he tried to tell me that I have to do house wife work because that what women do. I comprehend how is that my brothers can do what they want and they don't received that traditional speech. 

I guess, Im just tired being told what should or shouldn't do. 

[zully7-5]

5-21 (P.2)

I imagine myself with much more success of what I have right now. I always thought that I would it create something for me and my family. But along the way you learn that not everything is how you plan. Sometimes I question my existence in this world. What is my reason to breath everyday? what’s my reason to wake up everyday? What am I here for? 

There’s some days that I just can't anymore, I try my best to be someone I'm not. To keep that cold persona that every body knows. 

Nobody imagine that inside there’s me, THE REAL ME. The me that I just want someone to love me, to care for me, to knows me.  

[zully7-5]

5-21

How to compete with your thoughts? Sometimes I feel that I need that space I used to have. That silence where my mind was able to express and explore those feelings I discover. 

[zully7-5]

01-29

There’s moment that I question why I am in this relationship. Sometimes I feel like I can't express what Im feeling. 

I shouldn't be feeling the way I feel, but there’s moments that I can't that I don't get appreciated and that makes me feel so insecure about myself. 

[zully7-5]

You

I always imagine my life with you, creating the family we always talked about. Now 6 years later, I see you doing what we thought it was going to be ours.