Sunshine

zane andreas; overseer

[thebigcoke]

I’m a loyal ass person, so if I stop fucking with you its because YOU fucked up.

[zxnes-blog1]

lucaist:

“THREW YOU AWAY? you have got to be mcdonalds happy meal KIDDING ME,  zane andreas, because i am NOT loving it, sir. listen, yeah, i guess you should be mad that i wasn’t the one, instead of my parents, to tell you what happened to me but i had very GOOD reason to break up with you. i loved you just as much as i loved hot coco and you know how much that means to me but you know how much pressure it is, to put on someone, the fact that you’re DYING? like hell, it took so much freakin’ effort every day to not collapse in front of you. the only thing that kept me going was because i DIDN’T want to WORRY you. it’s not something you want someone to go through. you know all those stupid soap operas where the loved ones are like crying on the bed and are forever traumatized by that experience. YEAH, this may be no soap opera but if i have any power to prevent that from happening you know I WILL. i laid there, literally, in my last breaths just happy, that you wouldn’t have to see me, frail and weak on a hospital bed. to hear the heartbeat monitor go out.” despite zane pulling him with force away from the crowd, not noticing the HVF members approaching, the brunettte still continued on his rant, his free hand being thrown up into the air with every elevation in tone, “AND LISTEN HERE grumpy, SNOW WHITE ain’t having none of that attitude right now after i had to deal with people literally telling me to go die. AGAIN. like come on, really people? like did i ask you to smile and be all happy. NO, you’re not some kid’s show host. but at least, i think, i deserve SOME form of greeting, wouldn’t you agree? COMMON COURTESY. what has happened to it in the last few years—”

he was cut off short by a jubilant tone coming out from one of the most forced smiles luca had seen in human — ah, no, pds sufferer– history. “ah, i get it. you just HATE me now because i’m a pds sufferer. didn’t take you for one of THOSE.”

Zane, of course, listened to everything Luca said like he always had. He always would, he assumed, because even the sound of his voice (angry though it was) did something to his heart and it was miserably unfair. He was extremely confused and even more upset by the fact that Luca had just assumed his family would tell him everything. Zane had been told nothing. He knew nothing. Luca just dumped him on his ass and disappeared. Until today, obviously.

His already forced smile became even tighter when Luca had the audacity to accuse him of being one of the most prejudiced, cruel people in town. “You must be joking. I don’t hate you because you’re sick. I’ve been basically kicked out of society in town because I stood up for you lot when everybody else wanted you gone and I didn’t even have a fucking PSD sufferer to care for. Just the decent thing to do. Always trying to do the decent thing, remember? Or maybe you don’t. I don’t fucking know. I’m pissed because years ago you broke up with me the day I was going to ask you to marry me and then you disappeared. Ignored my texts, my calls, my letters. Just fucking vanished. Do you know how worried I was? Your family told me nothing. Nobody told me anything. You just up and abandoned me. You made me feel like garbage. I wasted almost two years of my goddamned life on you, Luca. So excuse me for not being overjoyed to see you. I didn’t know you were dead in the first place.”

People were staring and his head was throbbing but he wanted answers. He wanted Luca to answer to him for what he did. He wanted him to apologize and realize he was wrong. He wanted closure for one of the most intense, and worst, relationships of his life. 

“You know? Beyond the fact you kept me out of the biggest event of your life; the last event of your life, actually. You lied to my face. Everyday. For months. There’s just so much wrong with what you did I’m not even sure I’m able to wrap my mind around it all the way.” He pressed his fingertips into his closed eyes until they hurt enough to stop the throbbing at his temples. He needed sleep. “Just get in line. I can’t do this.”

[zxnes-blog1]

2, 4, 26, 60, 64, 69

2: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

I’m honestly not sure? Probably my sister if I had to guess.

4: Are you insecure?

Anybody who answers no to this is a bloody liar. Everybody’s insecure. Even the most vain people have that one thing they just hate about themselves.

26: What are you craving right now?

Nine hours of sleep on a bed with my favorite pillow. My guess is tonight I’ll get maybe four or five hours on my old couch with dusty throw pillows.

60: Do you wanna get married?

At one point I would’ve answered this yes, no question whatsoever. But now I’ve come to realize people suck. The Rising and the war brought out the worst in people and I’m a little jaded at this point. It’s hard to really give yourself over to someone completely anymore. By yourself I mean myself, of course. I just don’t see it happening anymore. We live in a different world now.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Impossible.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

Again, I used to. But isn’t love just some feel good chemicals in your brain that really end up fucking you up? I don’t know. I just don’t think it’s reasonable to think that you’re incomplete without someone else.

[zxnes-blog1]

wendyxriley:

“Uh, sure, why not?” Wendy figured if he was on his way there then it shouldn’t be any big deal, plus Peter would probably feel better that she was with someone safe instead of being on her own. “Then call me Wendy. if you want….” 

“Sure.” Molly gave Wendy a reassuring smile and began talking about how pretty the stranger’s hair was and Zane kept his guard up, eyes flicking left and right to make sure nobody would come up and try to hurt her. “Didn’t you have a guardian of some sort to walk you here?”

[zxnes-blog1]

wendyxriley:

“I understand.” She sighed, Peter was definitely in that category, “But I need to get to the volunteer centre so I can get started on my service. I was told I had to report within twenty four hours… I really don’t want to be late.” Wendy explained softly. 

“Of course, of course. I was on my way there, as well. Let me walk you in.” He really did feel bad for the people who people would recognize immediately as PDS sufferers. They’d spend the rest of their lives being discriminated. He’d do his part to prevent that, but things were already off to a rough start in general. “And you can call me Zane, by the way. I’m not your teacher anymore. I’m not a teacher anymore.”

[zxnes-blog1]

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Of course. Old friends, my parents, so on and so forth.

I know who you’re referring to and no. I don’t miss people who lie to me and crush me with no regret whatsoever.

[zxnes-blog1]

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yes. There are things I would change if given the chance. People I would turn down. Places I would go instead of Roarton. Fix things between my parents. Turning back time would be the ultimate gift, wouldn’t it?

[zxnes-blog1]

40 (inquiring minds want to know :D)

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Ha... ha. Yes, but there’s a story behind it that nobody besides Luca will ever know. It was in London and I was drunk.

[zxnes-blog1]

13 & 30

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?:

Hate is a really strong word but there’s a pair of siblings, in particular, I’m not too fond of.

30: What’s irritating you right now?:

In general? People still hurting other people after we went through hell on Earth together. Right now? George and Molly are screaming at each other and it’s extremely grating.

[zxnes-blog1]

1, 3, 19

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?:

No. Both of them are dead as far as I know. They were never really parents to me so I don’t feel all that bad. 

03: Do you regret anything?:

Lots of things. Too many to list.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?:

Yes. There are things I would change if given the chance.

[zxnes-blog1]

honest opinion on the return of the rotters

You really shouldn’t use that term, you know. But I’m glad for the people who wanted that second chance and sad for the people who didn’t. Either way, it’s happening and we need to learn to forgive each other for what the past forced us to do.

[zxnes-blog1]

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

03: Do you regret anything?

04: Are you insecure?

05: What is your relationship status?

06: How do you want to die?

07: What did you last eat?

08: Played any sports?

09: Do you bite your nails?

10: When was your last physical fight?

11: Do you like someone?

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

14: Do you miss someone?

15: Have any pets?

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

18: Are you scared of spiders?

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

26: What are you craving right now?

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

30: What’s irritating you right now?

31: Does somebody love you?

32: What is your favourite color?

33: Do you have trust issues?

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

51: Favourite food?

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

54: Is cheating ever okay?

55: Are you mean?

56: How many people have you fist fought?

57: Do you believe in true love?

58: Favourite weather?

59: Do you like the snow?

60: Do you wanna get married?

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

62: What makes you happy?

63: Would you change your name?

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[zxnes-blog1]

lucaist:

WHEN ONE WOULD expect to be met with their ex-boyfriend, people already had a likely reaction already in mind. let’s just say, this was NOT one of them. sure, the brunette was more than surprised at seeing the familiar figure, believing for ages that zane most likely would have hopped towns since luca’s death. while he wasn’t sure if it was true, he felt that their relationship was tied down to roarton because of luca’s inability to leave. he supposed he was more than wrong at such a pathetic notion of importance and he felt like a F O O L believing he had prominence in zane’s life.

luca kept looking down at the girl who had particularly found herself sticking close to zane. “your DAUGHTER? she’s cute.” it took great effort for the brunette not to ask questions, not wanting to instill fear on the young girl. he literally bit his tongue, white teeth sinking into the muscle to refrain from talking. luca was SCARED and that was an emotion he had not felt in a long time. he felt he didn’t care if people found his current status abhorrent but there was a part of him that did not want zane to hate him. i suppose it’s a little too late for that.

luca had been with the man for almost two years so it did not take much effort to read the man’s movements, the way his facial muscles strained under the weight of what stood before him. if the prescott son still had a heart, it most definitely could be heard by those close enough to him. seeing zane walk away from him, without even uttering ONE SINGLE WORD was a low blow. it took a lot to get luca riled up and zane managed to do that it less than A M I N U T E. he didn’t mean to follow after the two but his legs had a mind of their own. it was at this time that he saw the man and child walking across the street in reckless strides, not paying attention to the traffic of roarton. the roads were usually empty but the commotion following the return of the pds sufferers proved to bring new life to the once deserted streets. it seemed they couldn’t make out the incoming car.

strides long, a panic ensuing on his face, he managed to push the two out of the way. luca wasn’t hit too hard – well, at least he’d like to hope so since he couldn’t feel pain. he just lost his balance, stumbling a few meters away. it was a good assumption to say that the car was able to hit the breaks at the most convenient of times.

“what the HELL in muse madness were you thinking walking across the street as if you got a blindfold on, zane? and they say MY eyes are bad. did you stay up reading in darkness within these past few years that your eyeballs just L O S T their sense of sight? like the optometrist was just like, yeah there’s not level of how BAD your F R E A K I N G eyes are. what are you? a BLIND CAVE FISH? and speaking of which, what kind of person just walks away after seeing someone they haven’t seen in a very, very, very, very long time? apparently zane mc’freaking andreas. listen, i’m sorry i didn’t tell you about my illness but come on, what kind of person doesn’t even say hello? did you just not recognize me with these eyes and skin color? like should i just wipe it off and take out the contacts? — wait, scratch that i’ll look even more different. IN ANY CASE, you come right over here young man, and give me the hello and goodbye the Beatles think i deserve.” let’s just say that words kept spilling out of luca’s mouth, his lack of filter being concerning with the crowd that was brought forth by the almost accident and now grandmother lecture.

Zane grasped Molly close when he felt something push them into the sidewalk and he turned around just in time to see a car smash against Luca who, of course, stumbled a bit but was otherwise unphased. He stared at him with wide eyes when he started on his little scolding session and he wasn’t sure if he was more angry, amused, or heartbroken. 

“You’re joking, right? You must be joking. You threw me away like last week’s garbage and then disappeared with no explanation whatsoever and you expect me to be happy, smile, say hi? Absolutely not.” His eyes flickered around the surrounding crowd and the anxious looking driver and his frown deepened when he noticed two people with an annoyingly familiar symbol on their sleeves. He grabbed Luca’s wrist and pulled him off towards the volunteer centre, praying the HVF wouldn’t follow them.

Once inside, and relatively safe, he sent Molly off to play with the kid PDS sufferers and turned to Luca again. He smoothed out his expression so it was mild and pleasant and blank. His heart felt like it was ready to just beat right out of his chest, but he started on the little speech he was required to give to all people entering the building. 

“Welcome back to Roarton! We’re here to make your transition into society a little easier, so if you’ll just follow me we’ll get you checked in.”

He wanted to cry.

[zxnes-blog1]

viirulcnt:

      it was fascinating to see how much the temperament of roarton changed — over the span of weeks leading up to this day and now that it was here, just how the buzzing of nerves and mild animosity hung in the air, leaving behind a B I T T E R taste in his mouth. not so much to do with general dislike for the pds sufferers considering dex understood that none had all that much control over themselves in their…state — or whatever the politically correct term was. but it had more to do with the blatant hatred that ran deep like blood in many and especially so if actual blood was spilled at the hands of someone in that state. all dex knew was that roarton was about to become a shitshow. his thoughts were cut short at the sudden force knocking him back, S T U M B L I N G in his footing and nearly falling to the ground but managing to grab hold of a light pole and secure his stability. a huff of a laugh was quick to pass through chapped lips and dex waved his hand dismissively. “it’s all right, man. she’s a solid force — golden if you need someone to elbow their way up to front lines of concert crowd for you” dex muses, tone wry but light enough to express general humor from the situation at hand.

A look of relief painted itself on Zane’s face and he gently rested a large hand on Molly’s head when he noticed her proud smile at what was apparently, to her, a compliment from the stranger. “I hope concerts come back just for that reason. Has to pay me back for years of food and dolls somehow,” he responded, gently ruffling her hair. He’d been a little nervous, people were touchy and much more willing to snap on children these days. Roarton wasn’t a happy place to be anymore. But he supposed they were better off here than in a major city like London. That could’ve killed him years ago. “Say, you look familiar. Don’t you sell antique books?”

[zxnes-blog1]

ofchance:

August was not in the mood for even more bullshit. With a heavy sigh, he turned on his heel and looked the other man dead in the eye. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a reanimated corpse, so not getting a ‘that’s all right’ isn’t the end of the world for you.”

“Oh, I definitely noticed. I just don’t understand what that has to do with you being civil.” His jaw was tense, his eyebrows furrowed, his dark eyes shooting daggers as the asshole. “We’ve all been through hell. You’re not the only one suffering. And I’d be shocked if making a ten-year-old tear up really helps you.”

[zxnes-blog1]

gcldenapollo:

“Well it’s actually living so…” But he digressed. Whatever. He knew plenty of people that had problems with his views and his lifestyle. They could have them. Apollo didn’t care. “Well I doubt your going anywhere I plan to be going for the rest of the day but if it does then I’m filing for a restraining order,” he joked, grinning. “Noted. Have a nice night with the brats.”

Zane just decided to nod and give him that. Whatever. He made sure Molly was by his side as he stepped back. “You’re an extremely frustrating human being, you know that? And please don’t use that word. She’s going to be saying it now.” As if to prove his point, Molly gave them both a huge, gap toothed grin. “Great.” He shook his head and nudged her forward, just wanting to get home and get some sleep. It had been a ridiculously exhausting day.

[zxnes-blog1]

lucaist:

STEPPING BACK onto roarton soil, with well, a clear consciousness and what could be considered a working brain, gave luca a s t r a n g e sensation. the memories that stood out the most where ones of him being a walking corpse, limp through malls and forests searching for some SALVATION that was food. and boy, those memories were vivid since they came with the horrific daily dose of what kept him essentially from being killed. again.

far into his thoughts, the sound of crunching of feet on dirt clicked him out of his mind. his eyes weren’t in the best of condition but he knew roarton like the back of his hand. if he remembered correctly, the once abandoned building had been turned into the volunteer center for pds sufferers. now listen, luca didn’t want to volunteer. hell, that was the last thing he wanted to do. he understood the whole idea of “giving back to the community” but the fact of the matter was this: pds sufferers didn’t become the undead because they WANTED to. like hell yeah, i want to be a dead person who everyone doesn’t like. look at this, i can’t feel anything!! what a GREAT LIFE. truly, a concept. but alas, he still knew tensions ran thick within roarton and perhaps him showing up as a good citizen would bring some sense of peace.

it was at this time that he felt a force push him forward. standing at a towering 190 cm, luca was more than just two left feet; he was of a tall stature with the most clumsiness of natures. falling down, he felt his palms scratch the ground. but it didn’t hurt. his eyes could see the wounds that were beginning to form on his pale skin but the pain. it didn’t come with it. it would take a bit to get used to.

the brunette stood up, brushing the dirt that caught on his jeans. “it’s not a big deal. i used to be that energetic at that height too, though it was a while ago. you know what they say about chil-,” he was cut off short when his eyes finally made contact with the man’s. “ZANE?”

Zane wasn’t sure who he was expecting when the man turned around. A stranger, a neighbor, an ex-student. Somebody that didn’t turn his insides to stone. The second those familiar eyes locked onto his he felt his heart stop and the blood drain from his face.

Beyond the fact that he hadn’t seen Luca in two years, he hadn’t seen him in two years following him dumping him and then disappearing. He could feel Molly watching him with curious worry, her small hand tucking into his much larger one as if to try and comfort him. 

He was speechless. Once he got over the fact that his ex, the man who he’d thought had been the love of his life, was standing in front of him out of fucking nowhere, it registered in his mind that he didn’t look right. There was a thick layering of what appeared to be makeup on his face, his eyes a different shade of brown-green than they’d always been. 

The realization made him feel sick to his stomach, his eyes glassing over with tears. He just shook his head quickly and took a step back, refusing to cry in front of Molly. In front of him. What the actual fuck. He was one of them. 

He didn’t know what else to do. He gripped Molly’s hand a little tighter and made them turn quickly, doing his best to rush across the road. He was going to be late for work. Or that’s what he kept telling himself to justify him saying nothing to the man who’d completely broken his heart, trust, and self-confidence. But he was dead? Luca was dead? His thoughts were muddled and heavy and he barely even thought to check the road before crossing.