The tragic irony of Tam Song, a character that was introduced as constantly misunderstood, ending up misunderstood by his own creator and the fandom.
Before we even meet Tam, characters such as Boobrie Dude and Fitz have told us (and Sophie) a bunch of very incorrect assumptions about Tam's personality, simply based on the fact that he's a Shade. Shades are untrustworthy, Shades are wary of other people, Shades are dangerous and volatile and unpredictable. Sophie should steer away from Shades, from Tam.
This was intentional, of course. It showed that even characters we love can be full of prejudice. It was framed in a way that made it obvious this wasn't the truth. We, readers, expected Tam to subvert our expectations.
And subvert, he did.
Because Tam Song is not shady. He is not dangerous. He is not volatile. I would even argue that he was never the "less trusting" twin. He's the less trusted twin. The only reason Tam is said to be "wary" of other people, in my humble opinion, is because other people are wary of Tam. They project onto him the energy they falsely assume he's sending them.
The tragedy of Tam's character is that he's, at his core, a very social person, but is forced to pretend to be antisocial because that's what 1) people expect of a Shade and 2) how people act around Shades.
Shannon deliberately writes this dichotomy between what is assumed about Tam versus who Tam actually is. It's literally in his first scene, before he even speaks: Fitz tells Sophie to "never trust a Shade" ony for this to be contrasted in the very next line by Tam helping Linh adjust to a more comfortable position when she almost faints from hunger, a gesture inherently altruistic and tender.
There is something so precious about the twins' first actions in the series both being about breaking a rule to help someone else. But while Linh's action is framed heroically by Fitz, Tam's, on the other hand, goes almost completely unnoticed, and totally unappreciated.
Because, even after noticing this, Sophie cannot ridden herself of the Boobrie Dude and Fitz's prejudices, even though she didn't know about Shades an hour ago. The narration even admits that Sophie wasn't ready to trust Tam when he approached her. And yet, her first words to Tam are to (politely) ask him to thank Linh for the help.
Sophie doesn't trust him, but still doesn't let that affect the way she treats him. That's why Tam calls her "different". That's why tophieis the only tolerable Tam-ship.
Tam is genuinely surprised that someone he's just used the shadow whisper on is neither creeped out nor rude to him. A surprise that is only made ten times sadder by the fact that Tam's first words were about urging Sophie to be more careful with her Telepathy, a risk he would only take if he really cared about other people's wellbeing. Yet, despite his own altruism, Tam was expecting Sophie to give him shit?
I hereby declare that Tam has tried to help and befriend newcomers before, only to receive hatred and distrust every single time ✋☹️
The simple use of the shadow-whisper thingy does so much for Tam's characterisation.
Because what would you, a Shade, do if the majority of the population had learned hatred towards your kind?
What would be your approach at making friends? Tam's "what if I told you I stopped pressing buttons" moment is literally his first scene, are you kidding me?
His first interaction with Sophie is absolute *chef kiss* perfection, because it's basically "What if I told you I were a Shade?" and Sophie's reaction is, in a nutshell, "I would entrust you to pass my polite thanks to your friend."
A friendly and nonchalant reaction that Tam had not expected, but had hoped for years (or he would not have approached Sophie in the first place).
