[0-and-3]

There is no way to put how I feel into words anymore. Every time I'm on here, I try to type it out but never get far. I end up hitting backspace until there's nothing left. Who cares, right?

[0-and-3]

They all leave, eventually.

[0-and-3]

I don't know of anyone I can immediately go to when I need some support, and that's a problem.

[0-and-3]

I'm still here. Honestly, how do I even get by anymore? I'm seriously running out of options, and time. I'm stuck.

[0-and-3]

The fucked up thing is that even though it's not healthy to put myself through all of this, I still do it anyway. I don't know why, I wish there were an explanation.

[0-and-3]

Honestly, I didn't even need new toothpaste. I just wanted to spend a little more time with you

[0-and-3]

Patience, I guess?

[0-and-3]

Honestly I don't even know how to talk to women anymore.

[mlb]

[0-and-3]

Anyone want to go on a date

[0-and-3]

New year, same bullshit.

[0-and-3]

Going through so much shit alone is difficult, but during the process you learn so much about yourself, and you learn what you're able to accomplish without anyone there for support. It'd be nice to have it though. I constantly feel like I'm reaching out to others, but I still come up short in the process. I wish it wasn't so exhausting.

[0-and-3]

I know what I'm worth. I just need a chance to prove what I'm capable of.

[0-and-3]

This is dangerous territory for me. I feel like at this point, I have to say something. I have to tell her how I feel. I don't know what holds me back. When in my life have I ever gotten anywhere without taking a chance on something?

[anthonycq-deactivated20180713]

All I need, or all I think I need, is a companion right now who would lend me their hand for me to hold and we can stroll all through the city right now, at this very moment, and we’ll step on puddles and wet sidewalks. Let’s talk about how crazy of a year it has been and how we are fortunate enough to overcome even the most difficult of occurrences this year and then let’s discuss our future goals for the upcoming year. I want to hear all your dreams and how excited you are to be one step closer to where you’ve always wanted to be. I don’t want to think about tomorrow right now so let’s go everywhere possible to absorb the moment we are living in. Because honestly…I am disappointed in enjoying the world alone… I am in need of a friend. I don’t know how else to say it. I want to get so much off my chest but then again, I don’t want to say anything. I’ve felt this impending and heavy emotion that has been pulling at my chest all year and I’ve been attempting to drown myself in my vices and work. Drinking till I can’t think, thinking until I can’t work, and working until I can’t sleep. I feel lonely and unappreciated. I feel sorry for myself and I hate, absolutely hate, feeling this way. Who the fuck am I? And why am I such a waste of space with my discontent ass. So unappreciative of the day at hand and so ungrateful for the ability to shape my life however I want it. All I do is remain hesitant and constantly belittle myself when I have the time to sit and relax because I’m not being more productive. This medium of contentedness and ambition is impossible to find. What am I lacking? Execution, follow through, and finishing what I start. Why? As this year comes to an end, I can say I’ve never learned more than I have this year, and I am optimistic that my year to be will be a great opportunity to change the direction of my life… because if I keep living like this, I lose the understanding of happiness. I can’t lose sense of that. It’s scary to think it is possible. Yeah… I just need a friend. 

[0-and-3]

It's shit like this that really bothers me and drags me down. What did I do wrong? It's like people don't even care. I don't know who to go to anymore.

[0-and-3]

I can't wait to look around at everything around me and finally tell myself it was all worth it. It all paid off.

[0-and-3]

Never thought I’d turn out to be the person I am today.