Here I am with another account 😓, Tumblr doesn't really like me but I hope you like me, please reblog me to find my old friends and play all together 💞
pov you and sae's daughter pranks that she has a boyfriend when really she's just playing love and deepspace, featuring overprotective rin. word count: 1k. itoshi sae x f!reader and you're married and rin and reader are close friends
"I have a boyfriend."
There's a beat of silence, two, as your daughter stares at Sae. He barely glances up from where he's making two hot cups of tea at the kitchen counter. "Okay."
"Dad, I'm serious."
He nods, tea leaves carefully strained in his hand. "Okay."
"Is that all you have to say?"
He watches as the color seeps into the water, and offhandedly wonders whether this conversation really has to interrupt his tea-making. She could be interrupting an event. Or an interview.
"Is there something I'm supposed to say?"
"I don't know?? Like — Who is he? What's his name? Does he treat you well?"
"Who is he. What's his name. Does he treat you well."
His deadpan tone clearly doesn't entertain, as his daughter all but collapses onto the kitchen counter.
"Y'know, this is why nobody likes you."
"Your mom likes me." It's true. Probably. There's two cups of tea on the counter, after all. You'll at least love him when he hands you one.
"I heard mom call you a frigid bitch with her friend the other day."
"That's nice of her."
Steam billows into the air as Rin swipes down the stairs and pads through the kitchen, frowning at the sink before rolling his sleeves up, soap bubbling up the sponge that froths in his hand.
And like the little fox she is, she sets her sights on a new target with a wicked grin.
"Rin-niisan,” there’s an airy, sing-song tune to her voice, but all it grants her is a vaguely annoyed look. Even she’s surprised at his lack of danger sense, like maybe this man needs to be studied. “I have a boyfriend."
A plate slips in Rin's hand, clanging on its descent. "Ha?"
He flips around, hands still elbow-deep in the sink. "What? What are you telling me for?" He juts his chin out to Sae. "Say something."
Sae just raises an eyebrow that earns a tch from Rin. The sink turns on, then shuts off, then turns on again, as if exposing how Rin's mind runs.
"Bring him over."
It sounds like a perfectly innocent statement, except for the way Rin's voice lowers, his gaze turned cutting behind his fringe.
That has both Sae and your daughter straightening. "He's probably just a kid," Sae reassures.
"Doesn't matter." A plate screeches as it's dropped into the drying rack. "Bring him over."
Sae thinks he just watched his daughter regret the entire conversation in one fell swoop. Maybe she shouldn't have brought it up, if just for the mysterious boyfriend's preservation, or the sanctity of his ego before Rin hits him with his intent-to-kill.
"What's going on?" Your slippers slide across the tile, the tell-tale sign of a savior.
"Your kid has a boyfriend." Rin lectures quickly, as if there's finally a real adult here to handle the situation.
"What?" You almost trip as you skid across the floor, and Sae moves to stabilize you with ease.
"What did you say?" You turn to Sae in a hushed tone that everyone can hear.
"I said okay."
You blink at him. He blinks at you back.
"Okay?"
Your daughter swings her phone to point at Sae. "I told you you're supposed to say something."
"It's fine," you wave his nonchalance away, "I'll set the precedent then. What's his name? What's he like? Does he treat you well? Wait, you told Rin before me?" You turn to Rin, "What did you say?"
"Rin wants to kill him." Both Sae and your daughter say in unison.
Rin shrugs in your direction. "At least I said something."
"I knew it was coming." Sae hits back easily.
"You knew?" You ask with a tone like it's an allegation and Sae wonders if maybe this is the time to give you that tea. "What are you, some kind of prophet? Tell us the lottery numbers next."
"She's been smiling at her phone. I figured she'd tell us when she was ready."
"And you didn't think to tell me?"
"Okay! No murder, no boyfriend!" Your daughter claps. "This was all a prank! I was just joking!"
There's another clank into the sink as Rin groans. At this point, Sae's not sure if the dishes will make it past this conversation.
"Then what's on your phone?"
"I started playing this otome game — Look! It even has an introduce to the parents function!"
Sae takes the phone from her hands as she shows you both, which she allows disgruntledly.
"Mm. He's very polite." He hands the phone back to her.
Rin looks over your daughter's shoulder, hands still dotted with soap, then scoffs. "So a virtual boyfriend? He doesn't even look real."
You raise your eyebrows at him. "I think that's the point. I used to play one of those too."
"You. Played a game with a virtual boyfriend." It's almost a question, Sae's hand sliding across the countertop. "Was this when we were dating?"
"Oh, so that you react to?" Your daughter huffs.
"I think a 'virtual boyfriend' is a little much. I played a video game."
"A dating video game." Your daughter wiggles her eyebrows at you. "That simulates dates." She looks at Sae pointedly. "It's immersive."
Her magic works on him a little too well, because subtle concern fills his face. "How immersive?"
You give him an incredulous look. "He's not even real."
"Give it to me." Sae makes a give-it-here gesture to your daughter's phone, which she of course responds with by holding it closer to her chest. Because she's a teenager. Her phone is sacred. "What else does he say?"
"You know what, dad. I suddenly have had a change of heart. I think we should aaall pretend I didn't say anything."
Rin almost snorts, the kitchen towel flung through his hands before being put meticulously back over the handle. "You should've thought of that before."
"I'm just tryna lighten the mood out here! Jeez, you're all so serious."
"Rin almost went to jail for what you just said." You jab.
"Or your parents could've gotten divorced." Rin bats back.
"Nobody is getting divorced." The side-eye Sae gives Rin is lethal. "Don't joke about that."
Oh. That reminds him. He takes both mugs and hands you one.
"Wah, thank you!" You get on your tippy-toes as you press a kiss to his cheek, your smile so wide it makes him give you a shy little upturn of his mouth back. "I love you."
Sae turns and pointedly looks straight at his kid. She rolls her eyes.
credits to tangerinedarker on ao3 for calling sae a frigid bitch in their various fics, i thought that was hilarious and it lives in my head rent free HAHA
in my mind reader called her friend to tell them after bachira texts her “how’s your frigid bitch of a husband” bc in tangerinedarker’s chat fic bachira was the one that came up w the nickname :D
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