•• xxıᴠ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ •• j e n n y , inactive

[weltenwellen]

Goatsong Leila Chatti

[ashstfu]

born to love forced to grieve

[ashstfu]

[goldcoasthoney]

[thoughtkick]

“I like people who have a sense of individuality. I love expression and anything awkward and imperfect, because that’s natural and that’s real.”

— Marc Jacobs

[the-moon-whisperer]

[purplebuddhaquotes]

Instead of saying ‘I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues’ say ‘I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.’ Positive self-talk.

Horation James

[closedforgoodbyelol]

[c-isnenegro]

[purplebuddhaquotes]

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me because I, too, am fluent in silence.

R. Arnold

[03425]

I think my life is starting to turn around

I made three big life-changing decisions this year.

The first one was taking a year off school to do something else, in hopes to try to “find my purpose in life”. Albeit that did not happen and I still struggle with depression, I’ve found a job in a field that I love.

This job is doing wonders for me, as I enjoy the job and can actually see myself working at a veterinarian hospital. I’m also considering going back to school for veterinarian studies, since I’m being encouraged by my colleagues to do so, and I feel confident in my job. It feels like I finally found something I want to do in terms of my career.

The last major lifestyle change I made this year was to move out of my family’s place. This was--by far--the best decision I’ve made for my mental health. I get to do things at my own pace. I don’t have anyone nagging at me, or others invading my personal space. I no longer live in an environment where I risk my physical and mental health. This year, I finally felt in control of my own life. I’m still struggling, but I’m better than before.

I feel great.

[purplebuddhaquotes]

I feel invisible sometimes. I look at myself and there’s nothing there.

Mark Haddon

[03425]

Progress Log #?

I think a lot of people associate depression with being sad all the time. For me, that case isn’t necessarily true. Most of the time I just feel a void. Dull. Sluggish. Little to no motivation. Burnt out. Maybe empty would be a better word for it? Lackluster? If it’s not a void I feel, it’s disparity and hopelessness--not really sadness. I think when I was younger I used to feel sad a lot, because I didn’t understand my feelings or the world at all. Now that I’m older, I still have difficulty understanding my feelings, but at least now I can differentiate between truly being situationally-sad and the symptoms of being clinically depressed.

From my understanding and personal experience, a lack of dopamine and serotonin doesn’t mean you’re always sad. You don’t have to cry all the time to be depressed. Most of the time, I can’t even conjure up the ability to cry anymore. Depression is more than just feeling sad. It’s bouts of irritability. It’s feeling a void and then feeling everything at once. It’s doubts about everyone around you, yourself, and life itself. It’s being unable to sleep--and then sleeping for sixteen hours straight. It’s self harm; both physically and mentally.

Most people have a misconception that if you’re not sobbing, unstably explosive, and breaking yourself to pieces, you’re not depressed. But the presence of sadness doesn’t define depression--it’s the lack of happiness and hope.

[virgin-suicide-s]

[acupofkeen]

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.”

(via 03425)

[valse-des-fleurs]

I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.

Coco Chanel (via 03425)

[oohnoez]

[purplebuddhaquotes]

Self-care is a compassionate act. When you take care of yourself, your best self comes out for everyone else. You become a gift to us all.

EMMA SEPPÄLÄ (via 03425)