[ 💌 ] - IT'S NOT BECAUSE'S HE'S FALLEN FOR YOU -multi!
It's not because he's fallen for you.
That's something he's found himself muttering under his breath more than he should. Reminding himself of a fact that should have remained as common sense.
He's gone 'soft' according to his friends. He refuses to even entertain such a bizarre notion. Soft? Over you no less? As if.
Those favors he does for you? Those are only because he wants to hold it over your head later. Taking notes for you because you missed class? He only does it because if you fall behind, you'll pathetically drag your ass to him for help.
Remembering all the things you express a vague interest in? It's only because he prides himself on being observant. It's not because he likes you, much less loves you.
You're an acquaintance-maybe a friend on certain days even. Not someone he has eyes for, and especially not someone who he's fallen head over heels in love with.
So what if he's constantly stealing glances at you? So what if he's gathering every small detail about you that he can get? So what if he almost enjoys piecing who you are- who you really are- bit by bit like a puzzle, a beautiful, magnificent puzzle.
It's your fault for being so damn enchanting.
It's was so unfair how your mere presence-your mere existence- made him feel this way. He didn't have any sort of feelings towards you so why was he like this? Always longing, always wanting.
All your habits, your thoughts, opinions, feelings. They meant nothing to him, yet they meant all the word to him at the same time. And he loathes it, the way his mind cycles over them, dissecting, interpreting, imagining.
Part of him wanted to hate you for the constant roller coaster that you subjected his emotional state to. The way a laugh, a teasing brush of contact, a brief glance even, could make or break his day was pathetic. He thought he was better than this. He knew he was better than this.
So why? Why was his mood always dictated by you? Like some cruel mistress that enjoyed toying with his heart.
He could almost feel you there in his thoughts, lingering, laughing softly at him as if you knew. And maybe you did. Maybe you always had. There was a sharp edge to that thought, the idea that you were aware of the effect you had on him and chose to wield it without even trying.
But then he thinks of your smile. Your sweet, genuine smile that perfectly reflects who you are in his eyes, and then he realizes that you aren't the type. You're too nice.
And so he lies to himself. Pretends that you don't have his heart entangled in your hands every single second of every single day. Pretends that every moment he spends noticing you is just idle curiosity, it's passive. Like a sunset. Something that he can appreciate without making contact. Without getting too close.
Without risk of getting hurt.
But he has made contact, more times than he should have. Every interaction, every conversation, every stolen glance. He wants to hold your words in the palm of his hand, your laughter, your habits. He’s already far too close, and he hates how much he doesn’t want to back away.
It's all your fault for having him so enchanted with you.
And maybe, just maybe, he’s starting to think that’s a problem he doesn’t want to fix.
↳ scaramouche, wanderer, blade, itoshi rin, tsukishima kei, itoshi sae, kozume kenma, karasu tabito, shinsou hitoshi, + your faves! <3