Mary

…Just a sadfat girl…19

[0anamary0]

I binged today …

I hate me

[0anamary0]

As simple as that

…

[0anamary0]

Hey .. it is me :| again

So, lately , I’ve been through hell . I gained weight and i am starting to lose it , Well, i lost it already a long time ago but you get the idea

It is so time consuming and frustrating thinking about food and weight most of your time that you actually start to eat more , like why ?!…

Back when i was dieting “ normally “ I didn’t think that much about food and weight as long as I was happy with the results , now , nothing satisfies me yk .. nothing at all

But despite all of that mess , I am going to go through it again and again until i go there .. wherever “there” is

[sillycandydreamer]

I think the part i hate the most about my ed, is my personality being stolen from me. U know sometimes i think to myself wow, all day everyday I'm constantly thinking about food, weight, my body and stuff. U know like, i wonder before all this, who i was. I miss myself and it's sad, I'm trying so hard to get better and I'm talking about my depression, but who am i kidding? I know, you can't possibly have an ed and not be depressed. And now it just hurts and I'm so scared, cause i don't remember who i was before all of these, so i don't know who am i going to be without them.

[exceptionals]

*talks* *immediately regrets it*

[0anamary0]

Me watching myself falling apart ..

I am feeling alone in this .. I can’t talk about it , I can’t fix it and I can’t control it .

Every time I e2t I feel bad and horrible … i just don’t know what to do anymore .

And it hurts

[0anamary0]

Hello

It is been a while since my last post , “”

So in the last few nights i had the same nightmare…

“my mom was there forcing me to eat and with every single bite I was getting bigger and bigger”

.... I woke up sweating my life out

[0anamary0]

Hey ..

So I really recommend liquid diet .

— I lost weight and that what matters <3 —

[0anamary0]

I am going for a liquid diet for the first time ..

If anyone tried it , share your thoughts about it

[0anamary0]

I binged and i hate myself for it

It really hurts after going well for 3 days straight… like why can’t i just stop eating ..

Crying myself to sleep just because i ate more than usual is the most painful thing ever ..

[0anamary0]

Oh ..

[0anamary0]

.. yea..

[0anamary0]

So i am starting a 48 hrs + fast

Update : almost 24 hrs into it and i am so hungry guys….. any tips to avoid eating?

Update : broke the fast … i will start again tmr

- if Anyone wanted to join me i would appreciate it ..

— my fav thinspo haha

[princessgothicc-deactivated2026]

Im trying to prove a point to my mum

Repost if school has caused:

Anxiety Depression Suicidal thoughts Social anxiety Eating disorders Self harm Stress

[0anamary0]

..

[0anamary0]

I just want to lose weight yk

— so it started when i lost weight last summer ..

I went down from 75 kg to 60 kg .

And now i am back to 72… i am tearing up just thinking about it , i am just a complete mess but you know what makes it worse … I can’t stop eating .. so i am starting a strict new diet plan from tomorrow on with maximum kcals would drop down from 1000 a day to 300 a day Associated with a 23/1 fasting plan

Wish me luck

Note: if anyone wants to be my ana buddy .. you can text me whenever you want ..