2024 is coming to an end in less than 3 months. Yet, this is my first logbook of the year. Warning: gonna be a long post!
I went for a job interview, I wasn't hoping for, in December 2023. I intended to come just to practice my interview skills. Upon opening the door, he was the first person I saw. He looked up to me and smiled. Then, he told me to wait for the interviewer, and I glance at him few times while he was working.
He was so pretty it almost hurts. You know those type of beautiful people at the airports, the streets while you're on vacation, who you know you'll never see for the second time?
Tall, fair skin, neat clothes, the way he smiles and talks gently, his mannerisms. If he was all THAT, I wondered how unreal his girlfriend would be.
Long story short, I ended up with the job.
I got along with most of my co-workers, but I was awkward with him. I would maintain my distance and only spoke during professional settings. We were in different departments anyway.
Yet, I would always get excited for work just to see him. A glimpse in the morning and night after work. It was almost like an idolization. I expected nothing. He was just a good thing to motivate me.
One day, things got heated up in the work group chat. They were talking about work things, passive aggressively. I was being a silent reader.
Then I made a dumb mistake—I mistook a question for something else and replied with nonsensical answer! In the middle of the arguments all of that.
People abruptly stopped typing and I quickly unsent the message. Someone sent a laughing emoji in the group chat.
DING! Suddenly I saw a private message from an unknown number. The message and the emoji. It was him. The private message wasn't something romantic or cute—mind you—he was just asking for my instagram.
It was crazy because this scene never occurred in my mind. He was just being polite to me, he was nice to everyone, he would never, this was impossible.
We ended up texting for a while, and I was being such a humiliating living thing. In a sudden, I didn't know how to text. My text were dry, million thoughts going through my head, overthinking my words. Hey, I'm usually funny if I don't use my mind so much.
One day, he brought me and someone else a cup of coffee. I had coffee intolerance, so when he left I gave it to others. After all, it was probably an extra coffee he had, right?
The next day, he asked me how the coffee was. Were you silent or SILENCED?
I had to come clean. I told him the truth.
The next day, he brought me a vanilla creme drink? I forgot what it was called. And the day after that, fruit juice. Oranges. Hot chocolate when I had cough.
At that time, I finally woke up.
It felt surreal. For all my life, it was either I fall for them or they fall for me. This is the first time I've liked someone and they liked me too at the same time.
He taught me how to ride a bus and he walked me to the bus stop, even though our buses go in different direction. He would asked me out to eat. He would check on me at work whenever I got scolded or anxious. I might be a little bit biased but he was almost my ideal type of person. Everything he did, how he looked and dressed, the way he talked, his personality.
We went our separate ways eventually, but it's a core memory for me. Thank you Kak Bee
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