this weekend i went up to Albany to visit this boy and his best friend, who my friend is seeing (the best friend). The other boy and i show a mutual interest in each other and it was great seeing him. he's awesome and smart, and talented, and driven, and funny and just good all around. We all had such a great time, honestly, one of the best weekends of my life. everything was just so smooth, the vibes from everyone i met were incredible, i felt warm. i don't even feel warm and joyous as i did this weekend at home. The scenery was surreal. it was a nice break from everything here at home. Hectic as always. Boy and i really had a great time, kissed, cuddled, i really enjoyed/enjoy his company but i still found myself thinking about sam as boy and i kissed. and it killed me. i nearly cried while we cuddled. And i know, jesus yajayra, get over sam, its been since March, but i just can't. i mean I've gotten a million times better, and feel better, i was distraught, but the slightest things remind me of him just cus he was my first of many things. SO i can't help but compare everything to him and i know i can't dwell on this anymore, and I'm not even thinking about how things ended so horribly, but rather all i think about is the good times we had, and how when someone new shows me affection and caresses me the way he used to, i can't help but to think about him. IT SUCKS bc its stopping me from having feelings for other people and its stopping me from being HAPPY with other people and just being happy in general....i had a dream ln that sam messaged me but its probably just cus this whole weekend had me in a weird place, mentally, as far as he goes, but i was also SO happy this weekend. And i was ok with someone showing me this affection. And i liked it. and i was reciprocating. i wasn't cold as i normally am after Sam and i ended. IDK where things are going to go with this new boy, but I'm willing to try it i guess? idk..idek if i want anything just because i have so much to work on with myself but why not.....boy in now in Japan and i won't see him until the 26th, also, after get back from Mexico, but yeah who knows.....ok
gummygunk
baratheonpilled
titsay
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
stormborns
