Stark After Dark

Dreamer of Fantasy & SF. Writer of rants & raves.

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Dishonorable Mention) (3) Silbannacus

(3) SILBANNACUS – NON-DYNASTIC / CRISIS OF THE THIRD CENTURY A mystery numismatic emperor too obscure even for Dovahhatty – if he had done anything worthwhile, someone would have written something about him, amirite? As it is, we only know about him from two coins. Once again I refer to Adrian Goldsworthy’s observation that our list of imperial claimants is likely never to be complete or…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Dishonorable Mention) (2) Priscus Attalus

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVIII: Barbarians at the Gates (2) PRISCUS ATTALUS – USURPER: THEODOSIAN DYNASTY (ITALY & GAUL) (409-410 AD & 414-415 AD) You know – this one surprised me in ranking him as my worst usurper and second worst dishonorable mention. After all, he usurped the Theodosian dynasty and its worst emperor Honorius at that, so you’d think I’d be all on board for him but…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Dishonorable Mention) (1) Volusianus

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome: Crisis of the Third Century (1) VOLUSIANUS – NON-DYNASTIC / CRISIS OF THE THIRD CENTURY (251 – 253 AD: 2 YEARS) Surprisingly not a usurper but one of those emperors of “varying ascribed status” in Wikipedia’s list of Roman emperors, Volusianus earns my worst dishonorable mention entry because he couldn’t even achieve his uselessness on his own, but as the…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Dishonorable Mention)

But wait – there’s more! I’ve ranked the thirty Roman emperors I consider as ‘good’ emperors and the balance of fifty-one Roman emperors I consider as ‘bad’ emperors, a total of 81 emperors from Augustus to Romulus Augustulus – but as I noted for my good emperors, the bad emperors don’t quite end there. There’s my dishonorable mentions for imperial claimants that don’t quite have the same…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (20) Septimius Severus

(20) SEPTIMIUS SEVERUS – SEVERAN DYNASTY 193 – 211 AD (17 YEARS 9 MONTHS 26 DAYS) And here we are at the end of the line, both of legitimate Roman emperors in general and the other emperor of the two emperors right on my dividing line separating ‘bad’ from ‘good’ emperors, which I like to dub the Theodosian-Severan line, akin to my Pertinax-Thrax line separating ‘good’ from ‘bad’ emperors. As for…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (19) Theodosius

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVII: Imperial Wrath (19) THEODOSIUS – THEODOSIAN DYNASTY (EASTERN EMPIRE – BRIEFLY WHOLE EMPIRE) 379 – 395 AD (15 YEARS 11 MONTHS 29 DAYS) I know Dovahhatty does something of a hatchet job on Theodosius but I tend to agree with his caption for Theodosius – “I’m busy thinking how to be horrible at everything and yet still be remembered as ‘great'” (in marked…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (18) Theodosius II & Leo

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XIX: The Fall of Rome (18) THEODOSIUS II & LEO THEODOSIUS II: THEODOSIAN DYNASTY (EASTERN EMPIRE) (408-450 AD: 42 YEARS 2 MONTHS 27 DAYS) LEO: LEONID DYNASTY (EASTERN EMPIRE) (457-474 AD: 16 YEARS 11 MONTHS 11 DAYS) The emperors who presided over the eastern empire for most of the period the western empire crumbled and fell – certainly the emperors with the…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (17) Valens

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVII: Imperial Wrath (17) VALENS – VALENTINIAN DYNASTY: EASTERN EMPIRE (364-378 AD: 14 YEARS 4 MONTHS 12 DAYS) Emperor Valens – the name synonymous with the greatest defeat of the Roman Empire, the one that heralded the proverbial Fall of the Roman Empire, the Battle of Adrianople against the Goths in 378 AD. Gothicus Minimus, amirite? As such, it might be…

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Monday Night Mojo - Music (Mojo & Funk): Top 10 (1) The Doors - L.A. Woman

  (1) MOJO: THE DOORS (JIM MORRISON) – L.A. WOMAN (1971) B-Side: The End (1967) ALBUMS: The Doors (1967) – L.A. Woman (1971) “Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light Or just another lost angel?” And here we are at the apex of mojo – The Doors with their “dark, theatrical blues-influenced psychedelic rock”, led by the poetic lyrics, deep silky voice and charismatic persona of Jim Morrison…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (16) Constans & Gratian

Dovahatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVII & XVIII: Imperial Wrath & Barbarians at the Gates (16) CONSTANS & GRATIAN CONSTANS: CONSTANTINIAN DYNASTY (MIDDLE THEN WESTERN EMPIRE) (337-350 AD: 12 YEARS 4 MONTHS) GRATIAN: VALENTINIAN DYNASTY (WESTERN EMPIRE) (375-383: 7 YEARS 9 MONTHS 8 DAYS) And now we come to two emperors with uncannily similar reigns, despite being separated by forty years or so…

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Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (14) Severus Alexander

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome: Severan Dynasty (14) SEVERUS ALEXANDER – SEVERAN DYNASTY (222 – 235 AD: 13 YEARS 8 DAYS) Gordian III as child puppet emperor for his mother Gordiana echoed Severus Alexander only a few years before him. Severus Alexander was not particularly bad, just weak, but his weakness was ground zero for the Crisis of the Third Century. The historian Herodian portrayed…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (13) Gordian III, Philip the Arab & Decius

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome: Crisis of the Third Century   (13) CRISIS OF THE THIRD CENTURY – GORDIAN III, PHILIP THE ARAB & DECIUS (238 – 251 AD) We’re not quite done with the Crisis of the Third Century yet – there’s still these three emperors in succession presiding over almost fourteen years of the Crisis that were just a cut above the other emperors we’ve looked at so far,…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (12) Macrinus

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome: The Severan Dynasty (12) MACRINUS – USUALLY THROWN IN WITH SEVERAN DYNASTY BUT REALLY NON-DYNASTIC (217 – 218 AD: 1 YEAR 1 MONTH 28 DAYS) With better luck or management, Macrinus may well have crossed over my Pertinax line into special mentions for good emperors – and indeed might well be regarded as similar to Pertinax himself, attempting to introduce…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention) (10) Jovian

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVII: Imperial Wrath (10) JOVIAN (363 – 364 AD: 7 MONTHS 21 DAYS) The archetypal brief Crisis of the Third Century emperors prompt to mind the similarly brief reign of Jovian – although he really is in a category of his own, whose brief reign through no real fault of his was seen as a bit of a joke. Really, all he did was preside over the humiliating defeat…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Roman Emperors (Special Mention)

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVIII: Barbarians at the Gates (8) VALENTINIAN II – VALENTINIAN DYNASTY: WESTERN EMPIRE (388 – 392 AD: 3 YEARS 8 MONTHS 17 DAYS) The last western emperors as weak puppets prompt to mind Valentinian II as their uncannily similar precursor. Indeed, Valentinian II compares closely to Romulus Augustulus as weak puppet child emperor, except as a puppet for…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Best & Worst Roman Emperors (9) Worst: Arcadius

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVIII: Barbarians at the Gates (9) ARCADIUS – THEODOSIAN DYNASTY: EASTERN EMPIRE (395 – 408 AD: 13 YEARS 3 MONTHS 14 DAYS) And now we come to the worst imperial dynasty, the Theodosian dynasty, effectively the Roman counterpart to the barbarians at the gates that – along with those barbarians – destroyed the empire. Theodosius was the last emperor to…

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Top Tens - History (Rome): Top 10 Worst Emperors (Special Mention) (9) Otho & Galba

Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XI: Pax Romana (9) YEAR OF THE FOUR EMPERORS – OTHO & GALBA (GALBA 68-69 AD: 7 MONTHS 7 DAYS) (OTHO 69 AD: 3 MONTHS 1 DAY) The Crisis of the Third Century prompts to mind its precursor in the succession crisis of the first century after Nero – the so-called Year of the Four Emperors, with these guys as its counterparts of Bubienus and Pupienus. Of course, the…

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