100 Days of Dope

I do dope shit so I want to blog about it.

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Watching "Crazy, Stupid, Love" for the 2nd time in a day doesn't constitute "living the bachelor life". Damn. Not dope. Dope.

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It's midnight on a Friday night and I'm watching Mexican 2nd division soccer on my iPad. Yeah this is how I wanted my life to turn out. Dope.

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Got into a cornbread batter fight with a dude at work today. Dope.

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Only thing in my fridge is leftover fries. Dope.

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Two empty bottles of lube is pretty tame to what I expected to find under my bed. Dope.

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Bought a vaporizer for my apartment before I bought a couch. Dope.

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Woman called 911 at 11PM for what she described as "her daughter closed her eyes and wasn't alert, once I shook her she woke back up". Apparently new moms expect their newborns to stay awake for the first few years. Not dope. Dope.

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Mom told me I'm not as laid back as I used to be... the month before drug testing has its 1st victim. Not dope. Dope.

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This lady at the gym has the arms I've always wanted...the same could probably be said for her dick. Not dope. Dope.

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Leaving the gym soaked in sweat only to find out the water is broken at your house for the next 10hrs. Not dope. Dope.

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For the 2nd time this week I had a dream that I was hooking up with a girl and her parents walked in. Dope.

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Somewhere around minute 2 of timing how long it takes an Oreo to sink in a glass of milk, I realized, "Wow I'm being paid right now". Dope.

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It's not easy to manager to loathe someone who has a service dog, but I've managed it. Dope.

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I hate being with not dope chicks around dope chicks. Not dope. Dope.

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Congratulated my chief on being with his wife for 38 years.. "No, she sucks like all of them" was his response. Can't wait to get married. Dope.

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All I'm saying is for her age, her breasts were firm and sagging was at a minimal. Dope.

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Seeing peers post pictures with their kids is similar to when charities have commercials showing impoverished starving African children. Blessed that's not my life. Dope.