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Midsommar really told me it was going to pluck each and every one of my hairs out of my scalp for 2 hours and 30 minutes and I said yes.

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Online Smash Ultimate players when I pick pink uniform Isabelle and yeet them off the stage with her fishing rod for the 69th time

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tbh the funniest thing about the tumblr porn ban is that 80% of these gays that post nudes on here for free honestly think that more than 3 of their followers have the funds to subscribe to their onlyfans. I ain’t even tight on money but why in anyone’s right mind would they spend $60+ on pics/vids of one person when there is so much free porn on the internet??? I mean I guess it is smart to try and capitalize on the porn ban but unless they are part of some niche porn category they are just boxing out 99% of their fans that can’t afford paying $5 for every tumblr gay they follow on here. 

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Suspiria (2018) dir. Luca Guadagnino

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ok so I understand that Adam lowkey dragged me after I made that thirst post about him but I seriously do not understand why so many people HATE him??? I mean... from the outside looking in it seems his haters are other artists/illustrators jealous of his ‘success’? Or is it because he worked at buzzfeed? His Dear David tweets? Or is it because he could colonize and lay siege to these guts without any resistance? The world may never know.

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Adam Ellis (the comic artist) can [redacted] in me. Hairy white men own this ass.

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Martin: it’s me, I’m blue.

All the gays in the movie theater:

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shoutout to love, simon for making me realize i actually do like romance movies i just don’t like straight ones

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Movie theater employees when they see me buy a ticket to Love, Simon for the third time in the span of 8 days

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Bradley can [redacted] in me. Was I the only one that noticed his balls smushed up against his thigh during one of his confessionals??? Troyzan and Ryan are jelqing as we speak!

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Killmonger: You aren’t even paying attention to what you are putting into your body...

Me:

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ok so the theater by me is finally showing Call Me By Your Name. I can’t wait to see Armie Hammer’s digitally removed ballsack on the big screen!!!!

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Call Me By Your Name moodboard

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If homeboy eats the peach I just ejaculated in a few minutes ago……..

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Me: Fifty Shades of Grey is so fucking dumb its just an excuse for old women to have a socially acceptable way to squirt in public!!!!

Me after listening to 30 minutes of the Call Me By Your Name audiobook voiced by Armie Hammer:

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Can someone hook a hunty up with a link to Call Me By Your Name online? 0 theaters are showing it where I live :[

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tbh I love how you can basically tell if a guy is gay or not simply based on how he reacts to the song Work From Home by Fifth Harmony