*sigh* Ppl at work do my head in. They're not bad people. They're not evil. They're just so negative. Current topic is a colleague, who we all agree may lack some social skills. And yes, we encourage and support her... and yes, they talk about her behind her back, laughing at her. They report to each other "omg did you see her FB photo? she thinks she's a model hahahahaha" or whatever. And if I'm there, I won't say anything because I often haven't seen what they're talking about. And if I have, I'll still say nothing because this is just wrong. And now I'm branded as someone who doesn't like to join in. Well yeah, I don't. And it's apparently a bad thing. I don't think they're bad people but I think they're doing something wrong. And they know this. And I'm glad they do. And now when they make comments like this they'll make a point "oh yeah but she hates it when we do this, but it's so funny, I'm not being mean, if she's gonna post stuff on FB then she's got to be ready for consequences". Why do they have to be mean consequences??? It's like the time they Googled an ex-colleague because he was overweight and appeared on a TV show about health and they started laughing at a video of him on a running machine... ffs so wrong. He's skinny now. But instead of "oh wow he did well" it's "oh I bet he had an op he's minted". It's like being bullied at school. Sorry kids, it'll happen in the adult world too. And then I think, why do I care? Why am I even bothered? I want to just let it go. It's not my business. I'm not part of their "haters" gang and they know it, so it's not like I have to hide it. Sometimes they make fun of me and my ways. Make me look like I'm stuck up or uptight or I don't even know. I just know I don't fit in like I don't fit in with a lot of other ppl. It's okay. I don't need to. I think I don't need to. I don't want to be an arrogant self-righteous bitch. I think that's my worry when I lose it and tell them they have to stop being mean. Makes me uncomfortable. In the office it's easy, I walk away, make a coffee, pee... socially it's a nightmare, especially sitting down at lunch. I WANT TO CARE LESS. I want to go to work, do my work, and leave. But it's more and more like school. Go to school, see people you like / don't like / don't really know, assess what everyone's mood is, who's gonna hate on who today, what's the latest goss... there's no ideas, creativity, imagination. Just a load of BS. I have fun there. But I equally want to be somewhere else. Let. It. Go.
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