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“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.”

— Oscar Wilde

2-3-2

I did think about deleting my feelings, but I won’t. Unfortunately there are people in this world that are unable to see things from another persons perspective. To actually look at something and say “wow that’s interesting, I never knew that” is a sign of maturity rather than reacting with hurtful words and accusations.

I’ve never hurt anyone, I’ve never reached out to people that I knew didn’t care to speak to me. I stay away, I am respectful and I am changing everyday. The fact is that years can change a person, years. And I knew that she was always someone with a one track mind and I’m not surprised at her reaction. But his reaction is one of absolute immaturity. It’s sad but it’s also helpful. It’s helpful to know that this person that seemed so interesting and bright hasn’t lived up to his potential. I wonder when he stopped growing, when his brain started to just stay the same and maybe it’s even disintegrated.

And yes, I could have been completely wrong this whole time and that’s my fault. I have always been intuitive and have the track record to back it up but as a mature person I am open to being wrong.

This situation has definitely helped me reflect on myself, I will not doubt myself, but I will reflect. I will not look back and say what I’ve thought, IN MY OWN MIND, was wrong. Just misguided.

People come into your life and people leave your life. She was overdue to leave my world and I feel good to know she is gone. The other person, he was never there to begin with which is something I’m highly aware of.

It’s sad to know some people will never grow to be who they could have been. It’s sad to know that they just stopped and wallowed. Will he wallow forever? Or will he die before he even has a chance to change and grow to be who he could have been? Who knows, I’ll never know because I don’t want to know anymore. I am more skeptical than ever to think he can get back on his feet and live. Not with someone there who keeps him down.

And for the record, I was always a good person to these people. Always helpful and understanding. I listened and I gave advice. I cared and that’s so much more than I can ever say about you.

2-3-2

He died.