20 what

lost and making it work

[20what]

20 What

Welcome to 20 What, where I’ll be chronicling the glamorous life a a 20-something girl living in Manhattan! 

LOL JK YOU CAME TO THE WRONG PLACE IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE AFTER. Here’s a quick briefing on my life:

 I just turned* 24 and “celebrated” my six year anniversary of moving to ol’ Manhattan. The Big Apple. The City That Never Sleeps. The Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of. I’ve always dreamed of living in New  York City - as a little kid my dad printed out a picture of Columbia University’s library, tacked it up behind my computer, and told me “That could be you.”** My Bat Mitzvah theme was NYC - I went from fancy store (Bloomingdale’s) to fancier store (Sak’s) one sweltering  summer afternoon in the summer of 2005, asking for free shopping bags to integrate into the party’s decor. When I got in to NYU***, I was so fucking pumped that I didn’t sleep for a week. I would lay in bed and stay up all night thinking of my soon to be exciting/cool/sexy life in New York. I had this weird fantasy of meeting a boy in a stairwell, falling in love, and walking from wherever we were across the Brooklyn Bridge.**** And that somehow New York was the answer to my unhappiness as an overweight suburban girl who liked weird music.

Six years later, this is where I’m at: bored af, broke af, single af (in total, read: unhappy af)***** I have a job that I hate in a field that I thought I would love - and am bored everyday, knowing that I could be somewhere else contributing something useful to society. I live in an apartment that I can’t afford, am apparently on a strict “1 new friend per year” policy, and haven’t found a boy that doesn’t make me hate myself. My current goal is to get through the day without going over my Weight Watchers points allotment, and figure out what the fuck I’m going to do with my life.

It’s the Six Year Slump, as I’m calling it - the total unraveling of my love for New York. I feel like time is running out before I really have to get my shit together. I know I’m “only 24″ and have so much “life to live” blah blah blah - but why should I be complacent in being unhappy? 20 What is my attempt to get myself on track, to get myself in a place where I can make the necessary changes to get this so called shit together. So commiserate with me. Please. 

x.x.

20 What 

#1

PS - Song of the day is “Agnes” by Glass Animals (you’re welcome).

*First typed this out as “tearned” - I’m doing great!

** Those Ivy League dreams were quickly washed away once I failed my first Trigonometry test.

***Much more realistic.

****As of 8/31/16, this has not happened.

*****If for some reason anyone is actually reading this, “af” = “as fuck”