21ninjashoes

Changing this from a blog about random things I see on the internet into a virtual diary.

[spudsexuall]

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

[valleyfolkgifs]

[theawkwardlifeofapsycho]

Why is this not taught universally.

[austin-n-oli]

Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

[cryptv0id]

you’re the kind of friend everyone needs

[austin-n-oli]

I think that since its been a year since I made this post its time for an update. In the past year I’ve watched this post grow and grow, people I work with have told me about it as “this post I saw the other day” and they have no idea it’s my post. The person I wrote this about has even reblogged it. He is no longer texting me at 4am. Not because we no longer speak but because the nightmares have stopped. He and I both are in a much better place. Most often the only times he’s waking me up at 4am is when he’s pulling me closer to him while we sleep. He’s more than a friend now and I’m forever thankful to have him. Everyone messaged me saying he was lucky to have me but I think I was just as lucky to have him and I would do it all over.

[21ninjashoes-blog]

#snakeassniggas #movearound #gtfoh #movealong #gotnothingtosay

[21ninjashoes-blog]

#ifyoudontknownowyouknow #addmeonsnapchat

[21ninjashoes-blog]

#gone #vanished

[21ninjashoes-blog]

#toolittletoolate

[21ninjashoes-blog]

#neveragain #myheartbelongstome #solorideuntilidie #igotmeforlife

[21ninjashoes-blog]

Idk why this isn't in my closet!

[21ninjashoes-blog]

[21ninjashoes-blog]

me: i don't even care. i'm not going to talk about this anymore.

...

me: and you know what else? [2000 word rant]

[allthingsbollywoodish]

[karayray1-deactivated20230129]

I just. Want someone to feel this way about me.

[21ninjashoes-blog]

Till you realize everything they say is a complete lie.

[b78o]

[21ninjashoes-blog]

I hope that didn't actually happen...

[officialcapecod-deactivated2014]

my ex is still logged into twitter on my phone i could be cliche and tweet ‘I’m a DOUCHEEE lol’

no

instead

every few days i will tweet something he would totally say

but he will never remember tweeting it

slowly the slightly out of place tweets will drive him insane

victory

[edgebug]

you are satan

[21ninjashoes-blog]

You are diabolical! And I love you for it!! We should get together and swap strategies on how to make your ex insane without actually doing anything. Lol

[nevergooutofstyle-deactivated20]

taylorswift I hope you see this but we’ve been together for 4 months, he just texted me and told me he was done with me. Gave me no reason and kept trying to get me to do irrational things to get him back. Now he’s calling me names and I just feel crumbled. I don’t know what to do

[breakmelikeapromise]

[21ninjashoes-blog]

At least you were only in it for 4 months. I was in it for 2 years with a man i had known for 8 years. After two years, he still wouldn't bring me around his family and I only got to see him on the weekends when he didn't have his daughter. I fell in love with a man who only wanted me there when it was convenient for him and then he ended it with a phone call.... On St Patty's Day while I was driving to his house.... Count your blessings it was only 4 months, my dear. Don't let a man control your feelings. Show him that he was nothing to you and that you never needed him!

[danielkanhai]

i like when you’re in the grocery store and you see people buying eggs because they always pick up the carton and then open it like it’s a metal briefcase full of cash involved in a drug deal and they’re confirming it’s money. “don’t bother counting it, it’s all there. 12.” then they always pick one up and inspect it like, “yeah, it’s grade A alright…the real deal.” 

[sheriffsunshine]

People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked you walnut

[21ninjashoes-blog]

Some people are too stupid to be helped. But my god, that was hilarious!

[hella90s]

when the bitch you hate tries to talk to you

[21ninjashoes-blog]

All the damn time!!