Strictly Singular They
Strictly Singular They: The Case for a Gender-Neutral Pronoun
Singular they is by far the most common gender-neutral pronoun we use in English today. It’s been used as a singular for hundreds of years, making it the obvious option for the number of us now going by gender-neutral pronouns permanently. But it isn’t perfect - it’s grammatically different in a way that can be confusing even for those of us who choose it. We say “they are” when he/she is. It’s easy to get past this with a little practice, but for some of us, the discomfort remains. Perhaps this is because they has been used to refer to singular people since long before nonbinary people were referred to at all. People used it when they didn’t know who they were referring to. They was a stopgap – only for interim use. It’s always seemed to this author like a patch over the lexical gap; the word we use because we don’t have anything better. This is the appeal of neopronouns like ey/em and zie/hir. But they’re trailing far behind singular they, with no consensus on a favorite go-forward set, and can be just as uncomfortable for different reasons. Asking family, coworkers, acquaintances to use “grammatically incorrect” singular they is unpleasant enough; nevermind asking for a jarringly unfamiliar “made up word.”
As the best balance of factors, or perhaps just the least of all evils, this author proposes Strictly Singular They: The/Thim/Thers
Instead of “they,” we use “the,” which is pronounced “thee” to rhyme with he and she. Example: The’s going to the café for a latte.
Instead of “them,” we use “thim,” which rhymes with “him.” Example: I think this latte is for thim.
Instead of their/theirs, we use ther/thers, which rhymes with her/hers. Example: Ther order is ready on the counter – the iced latte is thers.
Advantages Balance and ease of switch The key to adopting this pronoun set is to think of it as not a new set of words, but just a shortening of singular they. By a happy coincidence, they/them/theirs shortens perfectly to a set that fits right alongside the he and she sets, in terms of sound. While it would inevitably face similar pushback to existing neopronouns, it’s not quite as offensive to a clueless stranger’s delicate constitution. It would be more intuitive to family members who are trying their best but still messing up sometimes, and it’s a very easy switchover for someone already used to singular they. Credibility Again, this pronoun set must be referred to as a shorting of singular they. It would have a better chance of withstanding “made up word” criticisms, and would seem, for better or worse, more professional.
May the English language change to suit us, and not vice versa.