28 Days of Dates

Just a transplant girl living in an LA World.

[28daysofdates]

1 down and 27 to go...

Yeah, I'm still on this dating adventure. I may even continue after I hit 28 dates but it has been an adventure. I had my first real date last Saturday. It wasn't planned at all but I decided to make the first move. I had been chatting with this guy we shall call PCH1. He seemed to be fairly normal from our messages back and forth so I decided to invite him to an event that was more of a comfort zone for me. As a woman I like to have dates in areas where I know my friends aren't too far away. Sometimes we are even with my friends. Most men don't have an issue with this but when you are using an app or online dating I think safety is best. 

PCH1 arrives to the event and we hug hello. It wasn't a sexy hug or a close body hug. It was more of an air hug, please keep your genitalia away from mine kind of hug. Hugging is a big step for me because I'm not really a fan of touching strangers...especially men. When we hugged hello it felt like he was trying to kiss me because of the way he leaned in but I shrugged it off. He had a quirky sense of humor that I found interesting. We looked around the event and strolled the neighborhood while chatting. The conversation wasn't really flowing because he was talking ALL about himself. He spoke about his current career, the homes he has, the past career, the money he has, etc. I'm not easily impressed by someone else's achievements. I applaud a hard worker because it takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to be successful. At the same time I don't care for a man to read me his list of accomplishments to impress me. I'd rather just learn these things over time. *shrug*

While we were walking around he kept putting his hand on the small of my back which I didn't like. Only because this was our first time meeting and that is a really intimate area. I never leaned into him to signal I wanted to be touched. I always moved away and kept some space between us. He also touched my leg a few time which I kindly pushed his hand away. He kept talking about himself all night and by 10 I figured it was time to wrap that date up. He walked me to my car and that is when it happened. He attempted to kiss goodnight. :( I moved my face because that was NOT going to happen. I don't want to put my mouth on a person I just met. Kissing with spit involved is a little too much for me. Time man, time! Got to give it time. There was no sexual attraction at all. More of a you might be a nice personal to occasionally hang out with but if you touch me I might have to slap chop you. Oh well...we probably won't be going out again because we just didn't have any kind of chemistry. I am not a fan of personal space violations unless I invite them.

That's all I have for now. Hopefully things get more interesting as this time goes on.

[sonofbaldwin]

Facebook is at it again. No critical examinations of whiteness or race allowed!

[sandandglass]

[oreides-blog]

fucking rich white people laughing at how poverty is some diet they should try.

[28daysofdates]

Umm... Really?!

[28daysofdates]

What the fuck am I doing?

Have I gone on one date? NO! Have I tried? YES! Did the LA weather say "Nope, not this weekend." Yes it did! This blog is going to be less about days and more about forever. Why is it taking a woman so long to go on 28 dates and report back? I could turn this into 28 assholes I've met via social sites but that would just give you all a negative view of what I'm dealing with. Overall I can say that I've run into four assholes in LA via Tinder. I've been going really hard on the Tinder app because it is so convenient. I do have a good group of six men that are good at having a normal conversation. I'm going to keep those six in my pocket. I do have a date or meetup ( I don't know what to call this shit) with someone this weekend. I like talking to him. We are the same age (I think. People Lie) and we have fun chats. 

I really want to do better with this tumblog and post daily but I'm having the hardest time. I look across the room at my computer sitting there just waiting to be touched but somehow I just can't bring myself to clickity clack on the keys. 

[ninjabikeslut-deactivated201605]

See, to actually fight rape culture you need to say “Sex is always optional. You are never obligated to have sex.” You must always be concerned with consent, and that means you must accept that the answer may very well always be no.

Sex Positivity is Rape Culture in Disguise (via ninjabikeslut)

[28daysofdates]

I can't see below your waist, Are you fat?

Approximately 10 days ago I started this blog. I thought I could really go on 28 consecutive dates but it has proven to be one of the most difficult tasks I’ve ever set for myself. I can say after two weeks, this blog about dating in LA will last longer than 28 days. Despite my lack of post I have been diligent about trying to have a date. I even had one set for last week with a 38 year old guy named Irritation*. Let’s pause for a minute before we delve deeper into that pure fuckery of communication. I’ve decided to use 4 different online dating websites (POF, OKCupid, Match, and Datewhoyouwant) as well as an app called Tinder. I’ve only been using Tinder because it’s easily accessible and I can watch the latest episode of Lost Girl while checking out guys. I also have yet to set up those online profiles.

Don’t get me wrong I am EXCITED about meeting new people even if nothing romantic evolves from our cyber connection. While I try to stay excited like my last name is Spano, I must say Tinder has worn my nerves thin in a record amount of time. I won’t say I’m the most patient person around but I don’t have a high tolerance for …Interesting interaction. I currently have 128 matches, and so far everyone I “swiped right” also “swiped right” on my photos. I thought to myself, this is good? Yes, let’s communicate. That communication put me in touch with Irritation. His profile said he was 38, not too detailed but I figured “What the heck!” He in boxed me and asked if I’d like to meet up for a coffee, drink, etc. After some light conversation I agreed and we made plans to meet that following Wednesday. We continued to chat and as the day approached, I mentioned him to a few of my friends and told them my plans. Everything seemed like it was good to go until Tuesday night when he sent me a text and asked if we could skip dinner/drinks and go straight to cuddling. RECORD SCRATCH! What the fuck? Who asks a complete stranger to cuddle? You may have watched that Vice documentary about love in Japan but I’m not a cuddle woman so I don’t do that with strange men. Of course I canceled the date because I wanted to avoid a potential assault that evening.

Alas I didn’t allow this first bump in the road to derail me from my goal and I continued to chat with the other people who responded which brings me to Mr. Weightism* who was fine for the first two days. We had typical getting to know you conversations and exchanged numbers…Then things got dark. Real dark. He had mentioned not being able to see a full body picture on my profile. I told him that I never fully set up the profile, I just allowed the app to take the photos it wanted to take from Facebook and left it at that. He explained that I could change it and provide more photos because he really wanted to see what I looked like from the waist down.  I ignored that little exchange but he then made a sarcastic remark asking if I even know how to use the internet. *Deep Sigh* I didn’t think much of it at first but soon realized that I was dealing with a hemorrhoid of a male. He spouted off his various degrees and how cool of a DC transplant he was to Los Angeles, yadda yadda bing. I thought ok, Peacock it out and impress! That’s great. When the subject of not being able to see my lower half came up more than once I knew it was time to put an end to this conversation. Let me be clear, I updated my profile to include a full body picture. I was not tooting my butt out for praise and worship nor was I giving people the view of my B cups. I kept it normal every day Moi. I received a text from Mr. Weightism and he was polite in the beginning and then he said “Look, if you don’t send me a full body picture I don’t have time for you.” I shot back... “Actually there is one on my profile.” And he said “No, I looked it was not updated.” That exchanged led me to believe he probably wasn't the suave peacock he tried to present himself as and I was dealing with a low hanging rotten apple who is probably obsessed with a woman’s’ weight although he isn't the fittest of the fit. I guess when you have an “engineering” degree you can put all unrealistic demands you want on potential partners. I didn’t waste my time to further explain myself and replied “Ciao!” and blocked his ass.  I also blocked Irritation.

They were the rudest and weirdest so far but I’m sure I will have more stories. Probably better written stories as well because I plan to do this while I’m fully awake for the next post. I have a lunch date scheduled for Friday, Coffee on Sunday, and a potential Bowling date for Saturday. Hopefully 1 of those 3 makes it out of text/chat mode.

128 growing

2 Blocked so far…

  *Names have been changed to protect the disgusting

[28daysofdates]

I go by the name Sunshine Ray...

I apologize in advance. I'm writing this after midnight and I've been awake since 4 am...yesterday.

I've been talking to my friends about starting this tumblr for a few weeks. Originally I planned on beginning this dating journey on Feb 1st, but I'm 14 days too late because I had other shit to do. Like adult responsibility type shit. So, the plan to go on one date a day in February is a no-go. Instead..I'm going to go on 28 dates over the course of the next two months using various websites, friends, family members, etc to meet people to date.

I recently moved to LA and it is a difficult places to meet people in that "Let me love you down" kind of way. I don't mean meeting people for casual sex, I mean meeting a person that you want to get to know with your clothes on until further notice. So, here I am writing a little after midnight about my dismal love life and attempting to set up this blog and dating profiles. Hopefully I can set up my first date this weekend or in the next few days. All I know is that It will have to be after a shopping trip so I can put my best foot forward during this long weekend. I'm hitting the bars for some "Love" hating...LA Style. 

Maybe I'll meet you or someone you know at The Bootleg Bar!