Three Hundred and Sixty Four @364-blog - Tumblr Blog

Weird..

I feel like Tumblr has become 10x more user unfriendly. I cannot figure out how to even access my sub-blog, or create a new one for that matter. I think my psychology course has taught me a lot about life in general, and about why we act in the way we act; an explanation for behaviour. I look back on my entries from last year and I kind of wonder what was wrong with me... which I guess only means that life has gotten a million times better, for the most part. I feel like I have changed so dramatically, yet I haven't noticed it until I really took a peak into what my life was like just a year ago. It sure as hell seems like I hated it. At any given moment, we all underestimate our abilities. Signed, Me

Lost Count

It must have been over a year ago since I've started this. This time last year, I would have been wondering what life would be like. I can say now that things are certainly different - mainly in the way I feel. We could pick up where we left off, but you'd have to pick me up where you left me first. Sincerely, Me

125

Dear Reader, Today, it hit me. It really disappoints me when I see people going corrupt. I just don't understand the whole philosophy behind drinking and smoking. Drinking - maybe. But smoking? I don't think so. It makes me wonder if I will some day be like that. It's just discouraging to see that this is what life is really about for some people. I just hope it becomes a regret rather than a habit. Signed, Me

124

Dear Reader, It appears I haven't updated you since my birthday. Which is almost 2 months ago now. It's sad really, because I don't recall anything spectacular happening within this timeframe that I could tell you about. I didn't stop writing to do something amazing, no. I just stopped writing to live on with my life. A while back I thought that I would never write one of these blogs again. But there's no one that I can really talk to that would understand me. I really do hate the world, meaning pretty much everyone. And if this is the case, who could I talk to? No one. I don't know that to be my fault entirely, but I guess I have to attribute some of it to myself. I'm just not completely sure which part of me to blame. Sometimes I find life so pointless. As negative as this sounds, it really isn't. It's more like a neutral statement. Imagine sitting on the outskirts of someone's life and trying to understand what they're living for. Fame? Money? Family? Love? Well what does that all end up equating to anyway? Who knows?... who knows. I can now understand why some people life their entire life trying to understand what the greater purpose of it was. I don't think there really is any. Signed, Me

123

Dear Reader, Today's the big day. Technically yesterday, rather. Besides changing my answer to the infamous "How old are you now?" I'm not too sure life will be all that different now that I'm 18. It feels weird, though. I feel like I've lost the 5 years from when I was 13 to now. It just doesn't feel like I've lived that time. Maybe it's just it has gone by too quickly. If I live to be 90, I have 4 more of these 18 year periods to live. Interesting. Signed, Me

122

Dear Reader, Life is just a big scandal. Everything. Right now I feel like a lie, and I also feel like an idiot. I am so sick of school, and it's never been this way. Why? Signed, Me

121

Dear Reader, I was so suddenly overwhelmed today that I was near tears. It's embarrassing that that should happen at school, and I hate it. I think I need therapy. There's just so many things that I want to get out of my head. But no one would ever understand. Not even if they tell you they do. Signed, Me

120

Dear Reader, It appears that I've been posting entries in the wrong blog. I'm going to have to relocate them somehow without messing up the order. Anyway, it really inspires me when I watch how people overcome the toughest obstacles in their lives. I nearly cried watching Nick Vujicic. What an absolutely brilliant man he is. It almost makes me feel ashamed feeling down for such little things. It's hard not to feel a certain way sometimes, though. Signed, Me

117

Dear Reader, I find more and more that I'm becoming less interested in writing about my life. Why is that? I've been accepted to some universities, so I guess that's good news. But I don't even know where I want to be. Signed, Me

116

Dear Reader, "I remember the days, I was, so eager, to satisfy you, and be less than I was just so I could walk beside you" I think I have given up, subconsciously. Time to move on. Signed, Me

115

Dear Reader, Here I am, Google searching how many words it'll take to satisfy my 3 minute French speech. It's difficult enough as it is with English, making it a whole different language certainly does not help. At all. However, I was smart about it and decided to choose my topic based on a response I had already written for a scholarship application. Now all I have to do is go back to my speech, flower it up, and make it French.

You always have to play your life smart and make these connections. Signed, Me

114

Dear Reader, I still feel kind of sick. My nose is runny sometimes, and I get tired really easily. This weekend is almost the exact opposite of last weekend. I spent last weekend working so hard to catch up on everything. Right now, I'm doing nothing. Not intentionally, because I have a lot to do. But I'm giving myself every excuse not to do it. The worst part is, I really don't have anything better to do. I just feel lazy. These inconsistencies are going to take me no where in life.

In short, I am a procrastinator. I think I'm starting to worry that I've been ditched again. Signed, Me

113

Dear Reader, This is the longest I've gone without writing. What's it been, a week? At this rate, it will take me forever to write a year's worth of entries. Maybe I've just lost interest in thinking about just how generic my life is. I feel like I want to do something spectacular with my life. I need to make a list of goals. For certain, I would like to travel around the world. I wish I had been more daring with my life. I honestly feel like nothing much has happened with my life for the past 17 years. I wonder what someone who knew me would think when they read this. Signed, Me

112

Dear Reader, School sickens me. I haven't been writing because I really don't have much to say. I guess my life really doesn't have in store as much as I'd like it to. I also forgot to get contact numbers for the scholarship that I was going to apply for. I have until Tuesday, which really means only 1 day to collect everything that I need. And then of course there are more essays to write. What's new? Signed, Me

111

Dear Reader, After 8 weeks of its release and a hell load of postive feedback, I brought myself to watch Avatar. I don't regret it one bit. I think the movie carried a very profound message. Maybe it's just be over-analyzing it, but I honestly do believe that the scenario portrayed in the movie is a metaphorical reference to humanity. Particularly from the aspect of war. I think that's what really struck me the most. In a sense, this is exactly what is happening in our world. We are blinded by the riches and the material wealth that we lose sight of what's really important. That's what makes me really sad. Sometimes I just think we are all indifferent, but I wish the world was more like the principle behind Pandora. Understanding, and interconnectedness. The idea that we are all a collective, that we should act as one. I think greed and selfishness is humanity's worst enemy. Signed, Me

109

Dear Reader, I really am just so sick of going to school. I don't like how structured my life is. On a side note, I feel extremely sick in all aspects. Signed, Me

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