iconoclast

the workings of the darker part of my mind. I'm just here to write about my feelings tbh

[piano-master-but-not-really-dea]

I am at that point where I am not going to kill myself, but I wouldn’t mind dying.

[certified-account-deactivated20]

fuck

Is it normal to hate being at school and hate being home? is it normal to hate anything that feels like it matters while instantaneously complaining about how nothing has meaning? Is it normal to feel like nobody matters and that everyone is replacable one second then be madly in love with someone the next? Is it normal to be excited to be old just so all these stresses would leave while also fearing the future? Is it normal to crave every small moment where everyhing is still and the times when nothing seems real? I am so tired of this. I am so tired of this all. I feel so much that I feel nothing. I am tired. I am just tired. I am tired of living. Every breath feels like it’s getting heavier. I want to end it all and I think I just might. I don’t know who to tell though, nobody cares anyways.

[leohearts]

People leave. You left. In the end everyone leaves. I guess we shouldn’t get close to anyone anymore.

Leohearts (via leohearts)

[there-will-be-violence-deactiva]

[4amfears]

I want to be better for you. I do. I know I’m absolutely pathetic, useless, and untalented, but somehow you still love me. I’m holding you back from moving on to better things. I wish I qualified as "better things" but I know I never will and there's no denying it.

[despairing-soul]

[4amfears]

I want to be happy so you won't worry about me. You deserve not to worry about a single thing. I'm sorry I can't give you what you deserve.

[useleverage]

[4amfears]

I think I should let you go. You don't deserve to inconvenienced with someone so pathetic in your life. Really, you'll thank me later.

[asking-the-death]

You need a private talk? Just message me(send me an ask)

[who-would-have-thought-it]

[4amfears]

I think it's past time I stop trying.

[i-am-my-own-drugs-deactivated20]

[4amfears]

That's what I need to tell myself to avoid feeling silly. I think it's pathetic that I just can't be happy.

[neaarty]

[4amfears]

And man, do I feel that way now! I feel like no one actually wants me around, but they're keeping me out of pity or obligation. Maybe I should do them a favor by lift the burden that is me from their shoulders... they won't do it, so I'll do it for them.

[myburdenalone]

[indigoblauekinder]

[4amfears]

I don't know why I'm not good enough..

[alexandrasoave]

Constantly feel like this

[4amfears]

I feel replaceable. I feel as if there's not a damned thing about me that's enough to make someone stay. Why stick by me when there's better options? I'm annoying. I'm a burden. I'm just a nuisance upon everyone, and they don't know it yet, but I don't want to be around when they do. I'm a waste of resources.

[depression-sadness-madness-deac]

[4amfears]

How is it that I'm surrounded by all these amazing people and I still feel so alone? How is it that I'm still so ungrateful for them?

[1000drawings]

[4amfears]

!!!!