ellipsis @4ngel-pearl - Tumblr Blog

longnuts

Does anyone know what to do

thisiswhyredismyfavoritecolor-d

hairlux

lmm-43

Your self respect gotta be stronger than your feelings.

shadybrooktrez

If you’re black, and still active on this mf I need you to reblog this so we can keep the community close.

kennyy-b-deactivated20210321

ink-and-oceans

“The night you left was the most painful part of my favourite story.”

— tara love

I self harmed in March for the first time in over a year. I used to do it on my wrist but that time I did it on my thigh. I was so disappointed. I haven’t told anyone that I relapsed because I was embaressed and I was scared he’d leave me if he found out. I need help. Please pray for me

Not hearing from him scares me. All I want is for him to be safe and healthy and happy, and not seeing him online worry’s next. Partly because what if he’s talking to other girls...

Today I made the decision that this will be the last time I go on the pill. I felt that it made my anxiety really bad and since I’m not going to be sleeping with anyone any time soon, it seems like unnecessary medication. It feels like a journey, I went on the pill for him and now that we’re no longer together I’m off of it. The pill brought the worst out of me and he only got to see that. But I can’t keep making excuses for my actions regardless.

My first experience with love ended yesterday and the emotions I’m going through. It was ended because of my mindset. Being in lockdown in my home has been hard. I felt myself getting into bad habits that I thought I had grown out of and it was projected onto my relationship. When I was living at home I shut everyone out and was angry for being lonely. I felt that no one ever cared or did enough without even considering the fact that I didn’t make an effort. It wasn’t long before I slipped into that way of thought after moving back home. I was unnecessarily angry towards my boyfriend. He would call me and I would get irritated for no reason. I’d be mad when he didn’t reply. And I held on to that. When he said that what I’ve been going through was having an impact on our relationship I was angry. It felt like he didn’t want to help me at my lowest and that made me hate him. I never felt such pain in my life. Then I took to the internet and read things from a different perspective. He was right. No one, not your SO’s, friends or family deserve the burden of your own mental illness. Some people can come into your life and want to fix you but only you can fix yourself. Only you can take responsibility and only you can put measures into place to fix them. There’s nothing more that I regret then answering his phone call that morning in a stink attitude. He ended it for me. He ended it because he knew he couldn’t help me and that I was the only person you could help myself. And I will always love him for that. I will always love him. He was my first everything and I’m disappointed that it ended because of my own actions. All I ever wanted was to make him happy. Because all he did was make me happy when no one else did. Now all I hope is that I can work through this. I can make myself happy. I hope one day we can cross paths again and make each other happy. But if we don’t I’ll always be grateful that I experienced the greatest love of my life to date. I know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. To be appreciated and to be forgiven.