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helloooo i realized i need one of these! about me: i originally started this blog for basketball rpf but now i also follow 911 (unfortunately), heated rivalry, and some streamers/podcast people (right now mostly the yard). on rpf: among other things, this is my place for my silly and delulu rpf thoughts. first rule of rpf is don't talk about rpf (second rule is that it's not real!). i've always had the harshest settings for this blog for this reason -- it's not searchable, indexable, etc. let's keep any posts with rpf text private, like let's not reblog any posts with crazy rpf text with the main general tags for the fandom... that kind of thing 😭 but otherwise i would love to hear any and all rpf thoughts and my asks and dms are open 💜

#about me

the guy who’s scared of dying and wants to plan out all of his life/the guy who wrote multiple songs about how he’ll die

#aiden/jakey #yard #they’re very complex and i am just beginning to understand them. i see this now after listening to just half of jakey’s songs #they’re catchy as hell btw #i will listen to a few once and they’ll be stuck in my head for days after 😭

aiden’s worst fear being dying and ludwig thinking about how he’d find a way to give him immortality if he could. okay

#not romantic at all #normal thing to spend your time thinking about fyi #ludaiden #yard

thinking about how some people top because they’re scared of not being in control, which is why they secretly want to bottom, and who is more trustworthy to actually top them one day than a guy who doesn’t always act like he wants that? who only gives top energy when he really wants you, otherwise he’s expressive and cute and chill? but then you see him hitting on other guys occasionally and OH, now those other guys are special enough to be hit on by your sweet bisexual best friend but he won’t act like that to YOU? when you would die for him to be assertive with you and take away the burden of always being in control — because you don’t trust anyone else? and on top of this, this friend would never judge you for letting go while he topped you because you’ve seen him act unashamed about expressing so many emotions himself

#but this friend is shy and doesn’t know you’re interested #and you keep saying you’re straight and oh you have a gf #so the same reason you like this guy (trustworthy and considerate)#is the same reason why he’ll never randomly hit on you himself #if you were in this situation you’d have to idk #initiate making out with him more than once and then make jokes for years that he would top you and change your life forever #i think that would be healthy and good. yeah #ludaiden #yard #let’s keep this on my blog btw it’s too real for the masses at this juncture

wemby not worried and neither am i!!!!

#i’m on vacation outside of san antonio so i’m sooo bummed spurs lost #when we picked up an HEB order it say your order is ready go spurs go 😭#bball

subaru-copilot

it gets to a point that is just weirder if they didn't fuck

subaru-copilot

you did all this and it was not even because you wanted to bang him? weirdo

#ludaiden

omg shea serrano just published erotica (!) i thought it was a joke at first because he does a lot of that, but no it's real and it's about a private detective named dante 👀 anyways stories about sports and stories about sex are closer than you think

#it's always interesting when cis men get into the mf erotica game #is dante 100% straight? that's what i want to know #bball

novaknicks

they’re at it again!!

#THIS WAS SO CUTE #bball

OMG WEMBY ♥♥♥♥♥

#he's so cute omg he's hugging literally everyone on the team 😭😭😭😭#bball

KELDON JOHNSON I KNOW HIS GOATS ARE EXCITED

#one of the commentators said something like that after his first three lmao 😭😭#bball

decided to listen to some of jakey’s music and

#i literally stopped the song and said pause out loud because WHAT!!!!#guys can we talk about reading the vibes because #i’ve honed my skills a bi guy questioning himself cannot escape my notice #AHHHHHHH i say #he also mentions tatu earlier in the song. gay shit. gay #also the music is good and this man is an Artist and has feelings and omg #this changes so much i’m only more committed to aiden/jakey it’s insane #yard #this sensitive questioning artist shows up to every interaction with aiden like ‘i’m going to tell him he’s brilliant and amazing’#oh!!!

#wait they're so cute #GO SPURS!#bball

this spurs run has been CRAZY

#what i've seen of this series has been really fun #i'm rooting for the spurs but i'll be happy for jwill and jared mccain if okc wins

the way hearing some asshole stranger call ludwig the f slur on stream out of nowhere caused me to temporarily black out the other things they were saying and then lud said as well that he blacked out and didn't catch everything 💔💔

#it was a fucking horrible moment #i'm also sooooo mad because he is really good with kids and the other interactions (with silly 12 year olds not assholes) were soooo funny #and again i know this is making many assumptions and i'm projecting #but i'm thinking about the moment again because i saw this line on twitter:#'being called a slur before you even know who you are is such a brutal queer experience' (about the amazing moonlight scene)#i assume especially as a guy you are informed at a young age abt the cruelty that you'll face if you ever act feminine or come out as gay #and so when you're deciding how to present yourself and form your personality early on you're shown the social punishment you'll receive #and i think especially for someone like ludwig who's so primed to react to people and shape his performances into something they'll like #it's extra difficult #(like he is specifically so talented at understanding what specific audiences want and molding himself to be that thing in response)#for ludwig it also seems tough because everything is about optimizing and improving and coming out is just an instant major hit #to his popularity to his sponsorships to his general and wide-ranging appeal #so in a very logical way if you're trying to succeed the best you can there's simply no reason at all to say you're bi or gay or anything #and then also at the same time with the slurs it's also like... that's what you would get from a section of the world #arky being falsely outed kinda showed exactly who would be supportive of an out queer streamer who previously ID'd as straight #anyways do straight people even black out hearing that slur or is that a thing that affects them like that at all 😭#just my two cents on this monday evening!#yard #ludwig

christianrichardrice

Vincent Van Gogh, Patch of Grass, 1887.

sometimes i wonder whether ludwig thinks he doesn’t have to come out because he already won gaymer of the year

#like he’s already been recognized without coming out so… lmao #but no the gaymer of the year stuff lowkey breaks my heart #because he’s so excited every time #it almost feels like a cheat code like i get to be recognized and i get to acknowledge that #and he also gets to be connected to the community and say they voted for him #like all of my thoughts this is mostly me projecting but that's how i relate to how enthusiastic he is #getting to be associated with Gay Stuff 🌈#yard

chappell roan going to the abbey for the first time and loving it so much she wrote pink pony club about it followed by ludwig going to the abbey for the first time, saying everyone there looked so hot and proceeding to kiss aiden multiple times and make out with him

#i guess it’s famous for a reason people have spiritual experiences there #yard

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