mentor

[50thvictor]

𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞, t𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐲; 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡. 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐝, 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 ?

#50THVICTOR : independent, private & selective portrayal of Haymitch Abernathy from Suzanne Collin's The Hunger Games Trilogy, with other verses available.  mentored by Flora ( 26, she/they, gmt+1 ),

exploring themes of : addiction, the sole survivor & the guilt that comes with it, crushed dreams, quiet rebellion

main blog: @fenixburned

CARRD. (wip!) MEMES. SPOTIFY.

[50thvictor]

ok so I might be quite absent for the next two days! I have a 9 hour late shift today & need to get up early tomorrow to head to my uni city for a thesis consultation hdrjduejdks I can make no promises about how chatty I’ll be bc this is gonna be exhausting, but you can also reach me on discord (@ habemusmamam)

[50thvictor]

y‘all are not ready for when I drop my headcanons about haymitch‘s family :)))

[50thvictor]

remember that moment in c.atching f.ire (the movie), when haymitch not only steps between katniss and the gun during the flogging, but also immediately pulls peeta behind him too? YEAH :)))

[50thvictor]

ok so I might be quite absent for the next two days! I have a 9 hour late shift today & need to get up early tomorrow to head to my uni city for a thesis consultation hdrjduejdks I can make no promises about how chatty I’ll be bc this is gonna be exhausting, but you can also reach me on discord (@ habemusmamam)

[delizbin]

Haymitch Abernathy

[50thvictor]

officially reached the stage of internal screaming & maniac laughter with my bachelor thesis how are you doing? :)

[50thvictor]

the way he doesn't even really react & yet it's obvious that this is the truth :)))) & at least with words Haymitch will probably never give her or anyone else more of an acknowledgement :)))

[50thvictor]

@gamehaunt said : i do not owe you answers, just let me rest in pieces. | SPOTIFY'S WEEKLY MIX SENTENCE STARTERS

Haymitch snorts, leaning back in the chair. Perhaps this been a bad idea, his patience has a tendency to wear thin very quickly lately.

"No, of course you don't. More than anything you owe them to yourself." The boy has been through hell, he's well aware of that, and a part of Haymitch knows it's cruel to exert pressure. But waiting and coddling will get them nowhere, especially since time is a luxury they don't possess. "Do you think any of us gets to fall apart right now?"

[50thvictor]

oh also another important thought that’s been on my mind for a while now: while haymitch has been very lowkey involved with the rebellion for a while, he ultimately mainly used it to get katniss & peeta (& as many tributes as they can tbh) out of the arena. that’s always been the most important part to him.

[50thvictor]

there‘s so much emphasis on how alike haymitch & katniss are & how it makes them understand each other so well. but to me it‘s important to note that haymitch sees aspects of himself in both katniss AND peeta. he sees his ferocity & endurance in katniss, but he also sees his ability to put on a mask & play other people in peeta. that‘s at least a part of why he always believed they might actually have a chance in the games & it‘s also what makes it both easy & hard to love them.

[51stvictor]

@fenixburned gets a thing for haymitch ♡

did it make her a terrible person, to feel so grateful that peeta had volunteered and taken away the fate of the arena from haymitch? selfish, likely, but yet it couldn't be found in her to feel guilty for the thought. they'd already talked strategies, over the phone, and laid out rudimentary plans to fight as well as to protect katniss. the goal had not changed, simply the participants.

it was the first time since the phone call. a private moment in this lion's den of a city, with eyes on all of them. up until now, it had been a charade of well-crafted facades and walls put up, repelling capitol folk and avoiding drawing attention to what they hid so meticulously behind the scenes.

hands reached up to hold his face, ever gentle as thumbs stroked his cheeks. how she'd ached for and yet dreaded this moment, unable to hide the pained look in her eyes. rhea had volunteered, all on her own, with no prior agreements making her do so. she knew, like everyone knew, that katniss everdeen would be the only option for district 12. and for haymitch, she'd voluntarily walk straight into hell a second time to help protect another precious to him. love was like that. their love was like that.

" hi. " a weak greeting, with the faintest of smiles. " we'll get through this. i'm tough, aren't i? i'll look after the kids for you, it'll be alright. " it wasn't a lie if one didn't know whether they spoke the truth or not. still felt like one, any reassurance did in the face of the games' monstrosities. yet she could not help but want to try put him at ease.

[50thvictor]

Nothing would be alright and they both knew it. Haymitch had never wanted her in there, yet another person he deeply cared about thrown into the crossfire, but he's well aware that Rhea had made up her mind and that there's no stopping her. She'd volunteered to spare the other victors of her district and she'd done it for him. Perhaps that's the worst part. For the hundredth time Haymitch wondered if he should've done the same after all, could've found a way to convince Peeta not to go. But in the end there's no use in dwelling on the past, the die was cast and they all have to play their part. All they could do now was relish the time they got left together.

just for a second Haymitch allowed himself to feel, lock the sensation of Rhea's fingers on his face and every little detail of her features away with other precious memories. His hands moved to entwine with hers, wishing they'd never have to let go.

"Well get you all out of there, okay?" It's not in his nature be be optimistic, it hadn't been for a long time. Though in this moment there's nothing else they could cling to except for this slim chance. It's all that kept him from crumbling, when he thought of the games and watching them all in the arena. "And don't forget to protect yourself too." He didn't manage to say more, though Rhea surely understood the rest. That he didn't want her in there just as a shield for his tributes. That she needed to save herself too, because she was just as important to him.

[50thvictor]

The deep stares back, speaks to me: I know my love can be the killing kind.

50THVICTOR : independent, private & selective Haymitch Abernathy from Suzanne Collin's The Hunger Games Trilogy, mainy book & headcanon based with movie influences, mentored by Flora

[habemusmamam]

SPOTIFY'S WEEKLY MIX SENTENCE STARTERS

those lyrics are all taken from my weekly mix on spotify & a few other current favourites. feel free to adjust as you see fit.

used to be a major scale, but the melody went stale.

no, I don't twist and turn that way.

bet you wish I couldn't speak, 'cause when I do you know I tell you why you appear weak.

you don't know fuck about my family

if you knew the truth, you'd probably hate me.

I bet you never saw me coming.

I found my laugh and took a lifetime to perfect it.

I found my hands when I built a home for me to hide in.

I grew up when I learned to cry on command.

carried the weight even if it broke my back.

give up your dream of going away.

I'm barely sane.

how am I to know who to trust?

maybe I make things a mess and maybe you're right to have doubts in me.

just this once let me come through for you.

let me show you the best in me.

a life without you I cannot accept.

we gotta find every bit of strength that we have and never let it go.

you can tip toe on the line of madness.

playing it safe is not enough.

it's been said the world's a stage and everyone must play their part.

guess the truth can be hard to hear sometimes.

oh how can you take pleasure in this?

and if it is my time to go I won't waste a moment.

don't ask me to follow where you lead.

don't be afraid, just take my hand.

one taste of blood is not enough to satisfy.

love when you beg, love when you cry.

who would've known when this started that we'd end up here?

if this is all a dream, wake me up never.

I just can't turn my back to you.

I made myself, a product of my own design.

I do not owe you answers, just let me rest in pieces.

you miss the way I let you walk all over me.

don't you apologize, I know you don't mean it.

if you were a church I'd get down on my knees.

I love the world but I just don't love the way it makes me feel.

I bet you're tired of all the games you had to play.

they don't know you like I do.

it's getting better in the worst way.

I like to push it and push it until my luck is over.

you showed me paradise where all I saw was sin.

I know I can't fight the sad days and bad nights.

the belief always makes the darkest lies seem almost true.

I don't need a cure for me.

last night I dreamt I still knew you.

this world is cruel, I know. oh I wish it spared you.

I believe in forgiveness, but I don't know if people can change.

there were pages turned with the bridges burned.

it was so beautiful before the fall.

i've got all this love I've got to keep for myself.

everyone's the hero in their own story.

i've built my castle on broken dreams.

it's tough to be dreamer when they don't come true.

while some might see decay I see a change of season.

I'm done being sorry for wanting the things that I want.

Make me bleed if you need to confirm that it's something I can do.

I try to care but just care less.

[50thvictor]

tag drop!

[50thvictor]

The deep stares back, speaks to me: I know my love can be the killing kind.

50THVICTOR : independent, private & selective Haymitch Abernathy from Suzanne Collin's The Hunger Games Trilogy, mainy book & headcanon based with movie influences, mentored by Flora

[50thvictor]

also HOLD ON the events of t.bosas literally take place when haymitch’s parents are little kids/just born. his grandparents probably witnessed the hangings. his grandparents probably danced to l.ucy gray‘s songs in the h.ob dkdkdldldldl