[6993inactive3996]

I’m so sick of being sad

I feel so sick of life.

[20somethingandstilllost]

“She turned to me and said, “hold me”. So I dropped the world I had been holding and picked her up with both hands.”

— Zachry K Douglas

[10mb]

[6993inactive3996]

I want to run into your arms but I’m scared that depending on you too much has started to suffocate you.

I’d rather suffocate myself than to have you feel suffocated by me. 

[6993inactive3996]

2020. A cursed year.

A year where a pandemic happens. Nobody I knew got the virus but we were all severely affected by its circumstances one way or another.

A year where a cycle repeats and things get better just for it to fall apart again.

A year where my mental health was getting better but things out of my control kept crushing it.

A year where I constantly disproved the limits of how many tears I’d be able to cry out time and time again.

A year where I reached the limits of my exhaustion and I have become so ultimately frustrated at the unfairness of the world.

A year where my negative thoughts won’t stop spiralling, always potentially ruining a good relationship - even with my friends and family too.

My anxiety won’t quieten and death feels like its enveloping me everywhere.

My boyfriend is suicidal and wants to die everyday, but I know he’s hiding it now because he’s gotten sick of telling me. I worry that the less I worry, the more likely he’d do it any day. 

My 11 year old dog is going to die this year. And I look at him helplessly because I’m a mess and can’t be whole for his very last days here on earth.

My grandpa died 2 weeks ago. I had to be the one to tell my Dad and hear him sob uncontrollably and fall apart for the very first time in my life. We were unable to go see him due to heartbreaking brutality of COVID-19 travel restrictions. 

I am so tired of feeling this way. Feeling like the world is against me and that everything is so exhausting and tiring. 

I am tired of feeling sorry for myself and crying about how miserable the world is.

I want to help everyone but its at the cost of myself. 

I stay quiet because I’m sick of telling everyone how miserable my life always seems to be getting.

Someone please help me. 

.

[6993inactive3996]

i fucking hate this unsettling feeling full of uncertainty and instability.

i’m suffocating in silence.

i want it to fucking end. 

[6993inactive3996]

same night I posted this the LOML asked me out officially hahahaha!!!!!!!!!

whats up bitches!!!!!!! my serotonins back lol!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhhh my heart is about to explode soon huehue. :3

[6993inactive3996]

i fucking hate this unsettling feeling full of uncertainty and instability.

i’m suffocating in silence.

i want it to fucking end. 

[requiem-on-water]

[6993inactive3996]

hi hello it scares me how much I like you and I know you’re going to break my heart one day hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! ! ! ! ! ! 

sigh, fuck.

:c

[okay]

it’s funny how i give advice to some people when i can’t even fix myself 

[6993inactive3996]

what the fuuuuuuuuck....

[6993inactive3996]

second half of the year has finally begun~

ahhhh wonder how this half will turn out.

[6993inactive3996]

was so keen for July but instead it feels like its going to be another month of fucking spiralling and suffering l m a o

[6993inactive3996]

oh sanity, where did you disappear off to this time...?

[plasticblisss]

[a-torv]

[6993inactive3996]

Dear 2022,

Don’t let it happen, please.