NOV. 10, 2013
L: I JUST WANNA KISS THE SIDES OF HIS HEAD AND RUN MY HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR AND ASK HIM QUESTIONS AND LISTEN TO HIM GIVE A COMPLETELY FORMED AND INTELLIGENT ANSWER AND I WANT HIM TO LOOK AT ME AND SMILE AND CALL ME “BABE” AND “LOVE” AND I WANT HIM TO LEND ME HIS JACKET WHEN I’M COLD AND I WANT TO WRAP MYSELF IN HIS SHEETS AND TRACE HIS TATTOOS WITH MY FINGER AND I WANT HIM TO LIGHT A JOINT AND PASS IT TO ME AND I WANNA TAKE STUPID POUTY PEACE SIGN PICTURES WITH HIM I AM GETTING TOO EMOTIONAL.
T: AWW L THAT IS SO PERFECT AND WONDERFUL AND I CAN SEE THAT 100% HAPPENING AND I WISH YOU COULD SEE MY FACE CAUSE I’M GETTING EMOTIONAL TOO GREAT THANKS
L: I LITERALLY JUST STARTED CHOKING BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT LIZ TO NOTICE ME GETTING EMOTINAL. THAT PLAN TOTALLY BACKFIRED. AND T YOU ARE SUCH A SAINT ILY
L: STILL CRYING
T: UGHHHH BUT L FUCK YOU YOUR LITTLE RANT ABOUT [MATTY] GOT MY MIND RACING ABOUT GEORGE NOW LIKE I WOULD WANNA DROP OUT OF SCHOOL AND BE WITH THEM ALL THE TIME AND GEORGE WOULD WANT ME TO BUT HE WOULD WANT MY PARENTS TO LIKE HIM SINCE HE KNOWS THEY’RE REALLY CONSERVATIVE AND AGAINST THE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE SO HE WOULD MAKE ME STAY IN SCHOOL BUT I WOULD COME AND VISIT THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND HE WOULD KNOW HOW MANY RESTRICTIONS I HAVE AND I WOULD TRY AND FIT IN WITH THE REST OF THE GUYS AND ACT ALL HARDCORE BUT I WOULDN’T REALLY CAUSE I CAN’T SMOKE OR DRINK OR ANYTHING AND THEY WOULD MAKE FUN OF ME SOMETIMES AND I WOULD GET REALLY EMBARASSED AND BLUSH REALLY BAD BUT GEORGE WOULD JUST BRUSH HIS THUMB ON MY CHEEK AND TELL ME THAT HE THINKS IT’S CUTE HOW INNOCENT I AM AND HE WOULD KNOW ALL THE THINGS I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO DO SO HE WOULD THINK IT WAS HOT WHEN I WOULD WEAR SHORT SHORTS OR SWEAR OR SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AS HIMA DN ONE DAY I WOULD TELL HIM I WANTED TO HAVE SEX AND HE WOULDN’T LET US BECAUSE HE KNOWS HOW BIG OF A DEAL IT IS FOR ME BUT THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER I WOULD TELL HIM AGAIN THAT I WAS SERIOUS AND THAT I REALLY WANTED TO AND THAT I KNEW WHAT I WAS DECIDING AND SO HE WOULD AGREE BUT HE WOULD BE GENTLE WITH ME AND THEN AFTER WE WOULD JUST LIE THERE NEXT TO EACH OTHER SMILING AND NOT NEEDING TO SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. THIS SUCKS EVERYTHING SUCKS ALWAYS
L: OMG T YEAH YOU SUCK BC THAT IS PERFECT AND NOW I’M CRYING HARDER. COULD YOU IMAGINE THE FOUR OF US HANGING OUT OMG
T: UGHH YES L I KNOW THAT’S THE BEST PART. BUT ALSO THE WORST PART BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT BUT IT’S NOT HAPPENING
L: WE WOULD BE AT LIKE A REALLY SMALL GRUNGY CLUB AND WE WOULD ALL JUST BE SITTING IN A BOOTH. YOU AND GEORGE ON ONE SIDE MATTY AND ME ON THE OTHER AND GEORGE WOULD HAVE HIS ARM AROUND YOU AND MATTY WOULD’VE JUST GIVEN ME HIS JACKET AND THEY’D BE TALKING ABOUT STORIES FROM WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGERAND WE WOULD ALL JUST BE SMILING AND LAUGHING AND THEN THE BOYS WOULD GET UP AND TRY AND GET US TO DANCE BUT WE JUST SIT AND GIGGLE AND WATCH AS THEY GO GET MORE DRINKS AND SING ALONG TO THE MICHAEL JACKSON SONG ON THE JUKEBOX
T: ALL I CAN SAY IS THANK GOD I DON’T HAVE A ROOMMATE. AND GEORGE WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE ME FEEL SO SMALL CAUSE HE’S SO GIANT AND THAT’S NOT SOMETHING I EVER FEEL NORMALLY AND HE WOULD KNOW I WAS SUPER INSECURE ABOUT THAT SO HE WOULD LOVE THAT HE WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD MAKE ME FEEL THAT WAY
L: SO MUCH UGH. LIKE SERIOUSLY WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING TO US???
T: AND THEY WOULD TAKE US BACK TO THEIR HOMETOWN AND SHOW US ALL OF THE PLACES THEY USED TO HANG OUT AND TAKE US TO THE PLACES THEY HAD ALREADY TOLD US ALL ABOUT WHERE DIFFERENT DUMB STORIES HAD TAKEN PLACE AND WE’D JUST BE WALKING AROUND AND IT WOULD BE A LITTLE BIT COLD AND REALLY FOGGY AND GRAY AND STARTING TO GET DARK OUTSIDE BUT ONLY A LITTLE BIT AND IT WOULD BE OUR LITTLE GANG JUST GAVIN A GOOD TIME AND THEN ME AND GEORGE WOULD QUICK SNEAK OFF WHEN NOBODY WAS PAYING ATTENTION AND WE WOULD GO TO THIS OLD WAREHOUSE HE USED TO GO TO TO THINK THAT HE HAD TOLD ME ABOUT BEFORE BUT EVEN MATTY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT AND I WOULD LOOK AROUND AND THING IT WAS SO COOL AND JUST BE EXPLORING AND THEN GEORGE WOULD SAY I WAS THE ONLY PERSON HE HAD EVER TOLD ABOUT THIS PLACE AND I WOUD GO IN FOR HUG/KISS AND THEN IT WOULD GET REALLY HEATED AND BEFORE WE KNEW IT IT WOULD BE AFTER MIDNIGHT AND GEORGE WOULD HAVE A MILLION MISSED CALLS FROM MATTY AND SO WE WOULD GO BACK TO MATTY’S HOUSE AND MY MAKE UP WOULD BE ALL SMEARED AND MY HAIR WOULD BE ALL MESSED UP AND MATTY WOULD HAVE THIS MISCHIEVOUS LITTLE SMIRK BECAUSE YOU ALL OBVIOUSLY KNEW WHAT WE HAD BEEN UP TO BUT NO ONE WOULD SAY ANYTHING AND THAT WOULD ALMOST BE MORE UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE WE WOULD KNOW WHAT YOU WERE ALL THINKING ABOUT SO I WOULD TRY AND FIX MY HAIR AND RUB OFF MY SMEARED MAKEUP REAL QUICK BUT IT WOULDN’T HELP AND THE WHOLE TIME I WOULD BE BLUSHING LIKE CRAZY AND GEORGE WOULD JUST BE SMILING AND HE WOULD PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND PULL ME CLOSER AND I WOULD LOOK UP AT HIM AND SEE HIS SMILE AND SO I WOULD CALM DOWN AND JUST SMILE TOO AND WE WOULD SIT DOWN AND CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION AND PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED. HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LONG LOL. I DIDN’T PALN ON THAT BUT I JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY.
L: AND THEN IT WOULD GET SO LATE THAT IT WOULD ALREADY BE THE NET MORNING BEFORE WE ALL GOT TALKED OUT AND WE WOULD SORT OF ALL JUST FALL ASLEEP IN THEL LIVING ROOM. THEN MATTY AND I WOULD SNEAK OFF TO HIS ROOM AND WE WOULD JUST BE TALKING AND MAKING OUT AND THEN WE WOULD JUST FALL ASLEEP AND HE WOULD BE HOLDING ME AND THEN WHEN I FINALLY WOKE UP IN THE MORNING/AFTERNOON I WOULD TURN OVER AND HE WOULDN’T BE NEXT TO ME AND I’D SIT UP REALLY FAST AND START LOOKING AROUND BUT THEN I’D SEE HIM BY THE WINDOW WITH HIS GUITAR AND THEN HE WOULD LOOK OVER AT ME AND SEE THE WORRIED EXPRESSION ON MY FACE BECAUSE HE WASN’T NEXT TO ME WHEN I WOKE UP AND HE WOULD JUST SMIRK AND SAY SOMETHING CUTE ABOUT HOW I SHOULDN’T LOOK SO WORRIED AND HE WOULD NEVER BE TOO FAR AWAY. THEN WE WOULD SNEAK OUT OF THE HOUSE WHILE YOU WERE ALL STILL SLEEPING AND GO FOR A WALK IN THE COUNTRYSIDE STOPPING ONLY SO I COULD TAKE A PICTURE OF HIM WHILE THE SUN WAS JUST RIGHT OR SO HE COULD KISS MY FOREHEAD. I CANNOT GO ON
T: FUCK L WHY DID THIS HAVE TO START NOW I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING HOMEWORK
L: I’M HONESTLY SO SORRY I JUST GOT SO OVERWHELMED WITH FEELINGS AND I KNEW YOU GUYS ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND
T: SO THEN I WOULD WAKE UP CRAMMED ONTO A COUCH WITH GEORGE ME ON THE INSIDE AND GEORGE ON THE OUTSIDE BUT HE WAS STILL THE BIGGER SPOON SO MY FACE WOULD BE SMASHED INTO THE COUCH BUT I COULDN’T REALLY MOVE AT ALL CAUSE GEORGE WOULD BE LIKE HALF ON TOP OF ME BUT I COULDN’T REALLY BREATH CAUSE MY FACE WAS SMASHED INTO THE COUCH SO I WOULD JUST START WRIGGLING TRYIN TO BREAK FREE AND IN THE MEAN TIME GEORGE WOULD WAKE UP BUT HE WOULDN’T MOVE CAUSE HE WOULD THINK IT WAS FUNNY TO SEE ME STRUGGLING BUT THEN I WOULD FEEL HIS BREATH AND HIS STOMACH MOVING AS HE STARTED TO LAUGH UNDER HIS BREATH SO HE WOULDN’T WAKE EVERYONE UP AND HE WOULD MOVE JUST ENOUGH SO I COULD TURN AROUND TO FACE HIM AND WE WOULD SHARE A MORNING BREATH KISS AND HE WOULD NOTICE ME TRYING NOT TO BREATH ON HIM AND HE WOULD LAUGH AGAIN AND THEN GET UP AND GRAB MY HAND AND PULL ME UP AND I WOULD WRAP A BLANKET AROUND MYSELF CAUSE IT WOULD BE COLD AND WE WOULD SEE MATTY AND L WERE GONE AND I WOULD FEEL A LITTLE AWKWARD CAUSE IT WAS MATTY’S HOUSE BUT IT WOULDN’T EVEN PHASE GEORGE AND HE WOULD MAKE HIMSELF RIGHT AT HOME AND WE WOULD SNEAK INTO THE KITCHET AND GEORGE WOULD MAKE US TEA AND WE WOULD DRINK IT AND TALK ABOUT LIFE UNTIL L AND MATTY CAME HOME.
L: SKSHAJAKNDJSK
T: I CAN’T EVEN BREATH I’M NOT EVEN GONNA TRY AND DO PHYSICS
L: BUT ANYWAYS. SO MATTY AND I GET BACK FROM OUR WALK AND I START MAKING BREAKFAST. SOMETHING SWEET LIKE CINNAMON ROLLS OR FRUIT TURNOVERS BECAUSE DESPITE HOW TOUCH HE MAY LOOK ON THE OUTSIDE MATTY IS A SUCKER FOR MY BAKING. AND THEN GEORGE MAKES A QUIP ABOUT HOW I’M GOING TO MAKE MATTY FAT SO THEY’LL HAVE TO KICK HIM OUT OF THE BAND AND WE ALL START LAUGHING SO HARD. SO WE ALL SPEND THE MORNING EATING BREAKFAST AND DRINKING TEA AT MATTY’S BEFORE PARTING WAYS WITH NO REAL GOODBYES BECAUSE WE KNOW WE ARE ALL JUST GOING TO MEET UP LATER.
T: OMG YES SO ME AND GEORGE WILL LEAVE MATTY’S HOUSE TOGETHER CAUSE I’LL HAVE NO WHERE TO GO BUT AT THIS POINT IT’S LIKE 4 OR 5PM AND WE DON’T REALLY FEEL UP TO DOING ANYTHING SO WE’LL JUST GO TO GEORGE’S HOUSE AND CURL UP ON HIS COUCH AND TURN ON THE TV AND WATCH FRIENDS OR SOMETHING BUT WE’LL JUST END UP TALKING THROUGH IT AND IT WON’T BE SUPER HEAVY CONVERSATION JUST LIGHT HE’LL JUST BE ASKING ME STUPID TRIVIAL QUESTIONS LIKE MY FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY OR MY FAVOURITE PART ABOUT HIM AND HE’D BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN WHAT I HAVE TO SAY AND BEFORE WE KNOW IT WE’RE HAVING A REALLY DEEP TALK ABOUT NOT NECESSARILY OUR FUTURE TOGETHER BUT JUST WHAT WE WANT IN LIFE AND NEITHER OF US WILL SAY IT BUT WE BOTH FEEL LIKE IT’S GONNA WORK FOR US TO BE TOGETHER.
L: AND AFTER YOU GUYS LEAVE I START CLEANING UP THE KITCHEN BUT THEN MATTY CALLS ME INTO HIS ROOM BECAUSE HE WANTS ME TO HEAR SOMETHING THAT HE IS WORKING ON SO I GO IN AND HE’S SITTING BY THE WINDOW SO I SIT ON THE BED AND HE PLAYS IT FOR ME AND ITS SO PERFECT ITS KIND OF LIKE SEX BUT A LOT MORE INTIMATE AND WHEN HE’S DONE HE LOOKS UP LIKE SEARCHING AND THEN HE FINDS MY EYES AND ITS ALL THE FEEDBACK HE NEEDS SO HE COMES OVER TO THE BED AND TRACES MY LIPS SO SO SO LIGHTLY WITH HIS THUMB AND JUST SORT OF WHISPER MUMBLES “I WROTE THAT ABOUT US YOU KNOW” AND THEN KISSES ME. I’M BASICALLY WRITING MY OWN DEATH CERTIFICATE LIKE WTF
T: OKAY BUT THEN WE WOULD MEET UP WITH YOU GUYS AT LIKE ELEVEN OR SOMETHING AT LIKE A DINER TO GET FOOD AND WE’D ALL BE TALKING ABOUT WHATEVER AND I WOULD NOTICE GEORGE HADN’T SAID ANYTHING FOR A WHILE SO I WOULD LOOK UP AT HIM AND ASK IF SOMETHING WAS WRONG BUT HE’D JUST BE SMILING AND SAY NO SO I WOULD ASK WHAT HE WAS THINKING ABOUT AND EH WOULD SAY HOW CONTENT AND PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS IN THIS MOMENT AND HOW HE CAN SEE US (NOT JUST ME AND HIM BUT ALL OF US AS A GROUP) BEING TOGETHER AND GETTING OLD TOGETHER AND IT STILL BEING EXACTLY THE SAME BECAUSE HE AND MATTY AND HANN HAD BEEN FRIENDS FOREVER AND SO HAVE WE AND IT JUST WORKS ITS NOT FOUR SEPARATE PIECES FITTING TOGETHER IT’S REALLY LIKE ONLY TWO AND THAT IT’S JUST SUCH A PERFECT MATCH AND EVERYONE WILL KINDA TEASE GEORGE FOR BEING SO CHEESY BUT WE’LL ALL KNOW HE’S EXACTLY RIGHT
L: AND WE’LL ALL KNOW THAT WE COULD SPEND EVERY NIGHT DOING THE EXACT SAME THING AND NEVER GET TIRED OR BORED OF IT.
T: AND IT WASN’T UNTIL THAT MOMENT WHEN GEORGE SAID IT THAT WE REALLY FULLY REALIZED HOW HAPPY WE WERE AND HOW WE DIDN’T HAVE A CARE IN THE WORLD BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE MATTERED
L: YES EXACTLY T. AND THEN THAT’S IT THERES NOT GOING BACK. WE JUST CONTINUE LIVING OUR LIVES THAT WAY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT WAS MEANT TO BE.
T AND THERE WOULD NEVER REALLY BE ANY DRAMA BECAUSE THAT’S JUST NOT HOW THEY ARE BUT OCCASIONALLY ME AND GEORGE WOULD GET INTO LITTLE ARGUMENTS ABOUT STUPID STUFF BUT IT WOULD NEVER GET ANY BIGGER THAN THAT BECAUSE ANYTIME I WOULD START TO GET TOO ANGRY OR ANNOYED ABOUT SOMETHING GEORGE WOULD JUST LAUGH AT ME AND THEN I WOULD REALIZE HOW STUPID I WAS BEING AND JUST LAUGH TOO
L: YEAH AND MATTY AND I MIGHT JUST GET MOODY SOMETIMES BUT ITS NEVER ANYTHING A LITTLE TIME OR BAKING OR SHAGGING CAN’T FIX. BAKING IN BOTH SENSE OF THE WORD I SUPPOSE TOO…
T: OMG L TOO MUCH THAT IS SO ACCURATE. MOODY THAT IS PERFECT
L: I KNOW I FUCKING KNOW AND ITS SO REAL BECAUSE I GET THE EXACT SAME WAY LIKE WTF
T: THIS IS THE WORST NIGHT EVER
L: I’M HONESTLY SO SORRY ITS ALL MY FAULT
T: NO ITS NOT IT WAS ALL THERE I JUST WAS NEVER ABLE TO LET IT OUT BEFORE
T: BUT HONESTLY FANTASIZING ABOUT THIS PERFECT LIFE IS A WHOLE LOT BETTER THAN THE SHITTY REALITY SO I SHOULDN’T COMPLAIN IT JUST SUCKS WHEN YOU REMEMBER IT’S NOT REAL
