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[depressed-reaper-deactivated201]

[sahovina-deactivated20190210]

ig: martina_pechackova

[thebootydiaries]

when u see sephora getting robbed but u remember they charged u $42 for a lipstick

[tastefullyoffensive]

[fuckyeahfunnycats]

Oh… no no no

[the90swerentreal]

One time in high school I was waiting to talk to the Vice Principal and this other kid came in and sat down next to me. He said “What are you in for?” And I said “Oh, they just want to know if it’s cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and lights for a presentation in the auditorium. What are you in for?” and he said that he stabbed a kid with a screwdriver. I told him we led very different lives and he agreed.

[prideprejudce]

my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat

[let-the-phoenix-fly-deactivated]

Read the whole thing.

[y2mcha-remade-deactivated202006]

imagine being an actress and having to pretend ur in love with Adam sandler

[flunkerlux]

[lightningmickqueen]

lazy is such an ugly word I prefer the term selective participation

[wlst]

[sorreggimi-deactivated20150205]

[zicoisbae]

[expensivetastexox]

[gifbro]

[4gifs]

There’s always time to hug your little bro. [video]

[assachusetts]

“Marry your best friend. Fooling around is fun, but life gets in the way and when it gets hard, you’d wanna be married to your best friend.”

- One of my customers (via assachusetts)

[happytripawd]

[h0odrich]

[stability]

👼💀

[animar-seal-of-elephants]

“They didn’t pay… Take out the toddler”