The 90s Weren't Real

Someone Else's Grandfather

[the90swerentreal]

I feel like I am the only person alive who carries the burden of knowledge that Buckcherry is a spoonerism of Chuck Berry. Every day I am haunted by information.

[powerburial]

C.A.R.L. S.A.G.A.N. = cannabis and reefer let scientists assign god another name

[medievaljournalist]

scientists have made a breakthrough in the cultivation of christobacteria from samples left on the holy grail, bringing us one step closer to a vaccine against divinity

[dogpuppy]

[swordseer]

[the90swerentreal]

Pretty wild that a little over a decade ago my buddy Alan (RIP) said “if I make the Denny’s twitter account’s voice casual and conversationally funny, we can increase engagement from millennials otherwise distrustful of marketing speak” and now we are here.

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

"bosch" doesn't sound like the name of a guy who'd make paintings like that. but when you add "hieronymus" to the mix it starts to make sense

[velvetun]

what it feels like asking anyone 1+ years younger than me if they wanna hang out

[the90swerentreal]

This is how LMFAO began.

[the90swerentreal]

Next time you encounter a clearly AI bikini model or some such thing on IG, I highly encourage you to check out the comments and see just how many of them are in Italian. We’re perhaps going to see the Italian economy completely collapse due to its nation’s prodigy-level perverts.

[lumnch]

To this day this Achewood strip is still the funniest thing I’ve seen in my life

[the90swerentreal]

I have no nipples Focker and I must be milked.

[bransonreese]

The line between Branson Reese and Swanson Dandolos is a blurry one, this is well known. Obviously there are some truths of Swan Boy that are not truths of you (has a beak) and vice versa (is on a podcast), but as a reader, there are many truths of Swan Boy that we don't know if they're truths of you. One of these Swan Truths has haunted me with its potential of being a Branson Truth. Did you ever believe that Mr Bean was a documentary?

No. Best I can offer you is when Cousin Skeeter first started airing in the late 90s, my friend's little brother wasn't sure if it was a puppet or a man with a condition he hadn't learned about yet. Always thought that was a funny combination of stupid and respectful coming from a little kid.

[necromancelena]

Instead of using butter for your grilled cheese, you should switch to linux. You can set up a virtual machine to try out various distros to see which ones work best for your needs

[the90swerentreal]

Ah I see you’re consuming short form video content on our social media application after 1:00AM. Can I recommend a shocking amount of videos from people suffering psychotic breaks that will leave you with a horrible feeling of sadness and unease? Yes, I am aware we usually show you cooking videos, but it’s after 1:00AM after all. We’ll deliver them straight to you, no need to seek them out. Treat yourself to something deeply upsetting and devoid of context. Sweet dreams.

[the90swerentreal]

Me when I’m being enlarged to show detail: Arghhhhh not again!

[the90swerentreal]

So what is the deal with largely Gen X folks (sorry to my Gen X friends) and this weird obsession with constantly posting about googling shit like this for their “book” or whatever? I’ve seen this so many times over the last 20-odd years, it’s frankly embarrassing. Are they admitting they’re a patently bad writer? Is it “edgy” or something? I want to know what the fuck they’re writing. I can’t even remember the last time I read a book where body disposal came up, or its accuracy being relevant. All this says to me is you’re trying to write a crime novel and have never read or watched anything in the genre! Grow up.

[mrsterlingeverything]

Um actually scrub daddy is my comfort character and it physically and psychically hurts me to see you chop him up and eat him after freezing and cracking him up with liquid nitrogen while naked with big boobs?

[mousemilf]

dont worry abt it, you just keep reading your lines and well take care of the rest. you'll be a star.

[mrsterlingeverything]

Ill be a star

[the90swerentreal]

Good: You say “oh my gosh” and “cheese and crackers” to avoid taking the Lord’s name in vain.

Bad: God hears you and understands in context your appeal to a deity unknown to the Creator. You are flagged for worshipping a false idol.

Verdict: Hell