I own a lot of clothes. Clothes for days when I wanna look like Jem and the Holograms. Clothes for when I am so sad I have to wear something that feels like a giant fuzzy blanket to stop from sobbing in public. Clothes I wear when I want a whole room to look at me. Clothes I wear when I am absolutely not paying for drinks. Clothes for when I am the witch of the wood, tell Stevie Nicks to eat shit because actually I invented her look. I use all my clothes, shoes, accessories, and to inform whoever happens to look at me how I am feeling at that particular moment. Except for when I donāt.
Taking cute pics for Instagram
But anyway, I own a lot of clothes. Too many to properly count. And absolutely too many to ever wear. I have clothes from fifty pounds ago that I canāt bear to let go because I tell myself again that āIām going to lose weight. I need to keep thisā. I bought things that still have tags attached that I never even wore because I bought them without trying them on, or they were so cool I just HAD to have it, or I saw a cool way to wear it in my head, or it looks like something I saw in a magazine (yes, I still read and worship fashion magazine editorials like it's 2006). SImply, over the years Iāve hoarded quite a collection of stuff. And I use hoarded in the literal sense. I have boxes of stuff I donāt use or wear or have a place or even care for, because I say that I know it will be of use some day (plot twist 99% has never been). The mass of fashion items Iāve got is a problem for me and others!
Quite twisted at a party after working all day and pulling this outfit out of my ass
So hereās the project. Iām not going to stop buying clothes. Iām not going to Marie Kondo clean out my closet because I think everything in there does, in some form, give me joy. What I am going to do is wear every piece of clothing, every piece of jewelry, all my shoes, my bras, underwear, socks, all of it, and really truly examine why Iām holding on to it. Life is not just good or bad, happy or sad, black or white, and neither are my feelings about clothes. I am plus size (currently around a size 18, but can fluctuate from a size 14-22), 5ā10 (six inches taller than the average american woman), so finding clothing that actually fits on my body is difficult. Finding items that fit my body well is another story. My body and self image are all over the place, and so is my mental health. Once upon a time I wore a steel boned corset for 10+ hours a day for six months until I could take 12 inches off my waist, but also I bought shirts I wanted to fit baggy but in reality they are too small now, or never fit in the first place. Basically, everything in my life is wildly, outlandishly, Ā inconsistent. Fashion is what I care about most, which brings me back to introducing my new project- wearing every item of clothing I own and deeply examining why I should keep it. Ā I have a whole closet, wardrobe rack, vintage armoire, and more full of 25 years of collecting. Truly, I own some cool shit. That corset I mentioned, a vintage beaded floor length gown in a size two I thrifted, stuff I found on the ground in New York City, things my friends made, my momās clothes, so much of my late dad's clothes, lots of stuff older than me, things that sold out instantly I managed to snag, its just endless. Actually, it's not- it just feels that way because I put so much emotional weight into fashion.
Middle of a shift at my nursing home job- no makeup and working eight days straight. Pre COVID so no mask!
If youāre still reading this, please follow my journey that starts with fabric, and ends I donāt know where. I do want to get rid of things (I need to get rid of stuff) but so much of it makes me āhappyā. In this journey I am going to discuss how to properly dispose of clothing, how to tell if something fits right, make lots of fashion and film and pop culture references. Iām going to talk a lot about body image, gaining.losing weight. The fashion industry as a whole, my personal experiences and thoughts about the future. How it feels to be a woman, how it feels to be a plus size woman, how it feels to have Ā a perchant for black clothes, to love drama, to work twelve hour shifts in a nursing home, what it's like to NEVER PAY FULL PRICE BECAUSE PAYING FULL PRICE IS FOR S U C K E R S.Iām going to reminisce and fantasize. Iām going to examine the idea of perfection until it means nothing. I am going to show off but also be too vulnerable. Iām not going to stop buying clothes but hopefully Iāll get smarter at it. My name is Anna McCabe and this is whatās happening.
TL;DR: Iām going to try on all my clothes and decide if I like them and Iām going to tell you all about it. Prepare for lots of dirty mirror selfies.
Easter Sunday 2020 in a pandemic that I only dressed up for because my brotherās girlfriend wore a pretty dress and my mom made a comment about my pajamas
