he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
EXPECTATIONS
Cosimo Galluzzi
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cherry valley forever
Andulka
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izzy's playlists!
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Janaina Medeiros
$LAYYYTER
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@96-girl
I loved you so much once. I did. More than anything in the whole wide world. Imagine that. What a laugh that is now. We were so intimate once upon a time I canāt believe it now. I think thatās the strangest thing of all now. The memory of being that intimate with somebody. We were so intimate I could puke. I canāt imagine ever being that intimate with somebody else. I havenāt been.
Raymond Carver,Ā Where Iām Calling From (via thelovejournals)
up and down and up and down and now itās not up or down itās just something in the middle but he takes up so much mind space the anxiety he causes eats at me i just want to spend time w my friends and make things and watch things and read things and get drunk i dont want to wait for your letter i dnt want to wait to hear from you i dont want to i dont want to! i dont want to think about you i dont want to dream about you i want to forget so badly i want to forget.
october 2017
I love you ā I do ā but I am afraid of making that love too important. Because youāre always going to leave meā¦We canāt deny it. Youāre always going to leave.
David Levithan, Every Day (via wordsnquotes)
march 2017
I was made with caution. Each inch of bone and flesh was measured and crafted with care. I was fed every day. I slept every night. Sometimes I cried, but I learned to stifle the sounds and dry my tears when I was young. Now that I am no longer growing taller, only growing older, it has become much more difficult for me to live.
I cry openly into the face of darkness. My depression makes me bow my head to the sheer force of defeat. I have been defeated before. I live by walking into the darkness, feeling the weight of my own sadness and bearing my burden. I become strong with each step and each day. I stumble and fall but still I forge on, because this is the only way for me to live. In the darkness alone, I can learn to bear my burden with grace, I can learn to hope for another life.
you know youre fucked up when you start crying doing the most random shit you know. like you fucking brushing your teeth and moisturizing and you feel your face twist up and the tears run down and you look in the mirror and you know your real self
a series of images replay in my mind when iām distressed. short clips of suffering. these days itās a large river: placid on the surface, gleaming under the bright and heatless sun. under the surface you can look up at the same bright sun but only feel the punch of cold. it stabs you in the chest and the ache seeps in your bones, a slow and excruciating tranquilization. a slow and excruciating extinction. your body screams red hot but itās dragged down deeper and twisted by the undercurrent, held by thick invisible snakes wrapping wrapping wrappingā¦ tighter- tighter- !
Depression isnāt pretty. But having depression doesnāt make you ugly.
Anxiety is a burden. But having anxiety doesnāt make you a burden.
You arenāt your problems. You deserve respect and patience.
I regret not knowing how to love myself, and I regret not knowing how to love you.
I am so angry. I am seized by fits of destructive anger that insidiously slips in my dreams. I want to smash things, throw them from high places and fling myself down with them. In bad spells I imagine the sound of my head cracking against pavement.
I still read it, Linda
Iām loyal to you & thatās why Iām in school too. Even if I feel that I will be ok without these things I thought were so important...
I want to make them happy. I want to make them proud.
I feel that I dont deserve the happiness that I have. I donāt deserve to be happy when I am not perfect to them and everyone else around me. But in being unhappy I hurt the people that love me, so Iām confused and Iām trying.
āIām kind of busy, Natalieā
I'm asking you to talk me down
wow iām in love with you
iām really in love with you
every time i think about it i want to cry a little because
because iām so happy
and iām so thankful because i know itās you too. because youāre here when itās bad. you look at my cuts and you listen to me cry and you talk to me about a happier future until i fall asleep
Tonight we arenāt on the same page
Iāve been having anxiety attacks daily
I get so so happy when I get cute replies in snapchat stickers wao ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø so cute! So happy! I'm in love!
